Chewing over family problems in the night

[xksismybestletter]

I've just read a shocker of a thread about a poor mumsnetter and some terrible in-laws at the death of her DH. Mine is child's play compared with that💐

So it was my third child's 6 birthday nearly 2 weeks ago. I threw a party for him( he didn't have one last year due to covid and only family tea party a before so he was really excited) he wanted his cousin's there as the come to our parties and we go to theirs. All my family declined or ignored the invite. My sister with the cousins said she was busy visiting my mum, who was also invited, and they didn't want to change plans, could I?

Then on his actual birthday, none of them acknowledged it on the day. Some sent gifts, and some commented on a pic on Facebook. Noone rang or messaged, like we normally would
I played it down to the kids.

I've not initiated contact since and neither have they except for cousin sister who suggested a meet up while we were all at work /club so we declined.

My problem is that I am now in an ignore pickle. We have a family call every Sunday which I missed last week. I need to decide whether to join tomorrow. I don't want to be awkward or make a fuss but I am not find about this all.

I don't really want to raise it as there will be a flurry of attention and a bit of rolly eyes from them that I made a fuss, but if I just turn up on the call they will pretend nothing happened.
The kids over hear the call so it is not the time to raise it.

How do I move forward?

There is no backstory that I am aware of. I find my family quite self centered generally but they wouldn't agree with that.

Anyone?

That's a shame op. I would speak to your sister and mum in advance of the call. And just say you were hurt about their actions. Try to clear the air, because if, as you say, the call goes ahead, no one will mention it and then the moment is gone.

Clear the air now, so it doesn't fester any more.

Sorry it happened like this.

Your sister and mum were really out of order to go to mums house and not yours for his party, What was the thing they had to do that was more important than his bday ?

I would raise it before the call , ask them what they want in terms of traditions / expectations going forward in terms of calls and visits on birthdays , ask them why they dropped the ball for your son . Start softly as you never know something serious could have happened like miscarriage or health diagnosis which they didn’t want to tell you in his bday

Is your dsis the Golden Child?

She isn't the golden child, there is another one who isn't. I think I am the least favourite of my mum's tbh

They went on a day trip and out for food.

I've been saved from sorting it this week as they moved the time to a time they know I can't do... Which has solved the immediate problem but doesn't actually help the situation.