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How would you handle this? - football

6 replies

Hotdogswithmustard · 29/10/2021 21:24

Ds (almost 14) would like to join a football team.

I want to be supportive of this but here's the trouble.

He started getting interested in football quite late. Later than his friends. I started taking him to just for fun coaching, but in all honesty I don't think I ever saw him get a touch of the ball. He'd always try out for the primary school teams but never got picked for anything and he'd often get mean comments in the playground about his ability. It could be quite difficult as it was a small school and it was usually ds and one other boy that would be left out of the team.

He still wanted to play and I eventually found him a small friendly league to play in which was for all abilities. But even within that, it was so competitive at times and it was quite clear that he was one of the weaker players on his team. He did eventually start to show some improvement but that particular team only took players up to age 12 so that's all done with now.

He's determined that he wants to join a team, but I've heard a lot from other parents that even if you get picked to join, the weaker players never even get a game and I've heard horror stories about bullying and shouting from other parents.

I'm so worried about setting him up to fail and knocking his confidence. Of course from a fitness and fun aspect I want him to play, but I know how football can be.

We've tried to encourage him into other sports we do a fair bit as a family and tried things like Park run but he's very headstrong and only wants to do football.

Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Zarene · 29/10/2021 21:26

Let him do it, and if he doesn’t like it, let him stop!

If he’s really not up to it, I’m sure he’ll be resilient enough to withstand a couple of not great footie sessions (and if he’s not resilient now, it will be excellent experience).

skippy67 · 29/10/2021 22:31

Let him try it and if he doesn't like it he can leave. No biggie.

lastqueenofscotland · 29/10/2021 22:56

Scour teams carefully some will be more important than others.
I’d argue it might be a bit less pressured at that age because, without wanting to sound a dick, if they haven’t been scouted already at that age they probably aren’t going to make it.
I’d think some of the youth sides to local men’s semi-pro teams would be nicer/better regulated than an out and out youth side. If you have a look at local pyramid 6/7 teams and get in touch with them?

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Knittingnanny · 29/10/2021 23:17

Not quite the same but many years ago my middle son realised around the age of 14/15 that he wasn’t ever going to be as good as his brothers and get a regular place on a local team. So he decided to do a referee course and he officiated at local games for a good few years. I think it was a qualification that enabled him to ref the teams up to ages of about 13/14.

Piggy42 · 29/10/2021 23:22

Look at thefa.com and find the lowest league teams for U14’s in your area and approach them. I would think there’s no point going to the highest league teams as he probably wouldn’t get much opportunity to play.

clary · 29/10/2021 23:26

I would let him have a go op. Ask around and check the league standings and see which teams are perhaps not doing so well...he's more likely to get a game. Have a kick about with him at the park. Get him to watch lots of footy and think about technique and skills. What position does he fancy? Maybe not Maybe not upfront.

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