First night alone since DH left. Please hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay

[LouLou198]

20 years together, 13 married, 2 dc 11 and 6. Had the "I love you but not in love with you" script. No one else involved but I think there is another woman in the wing. I'm absolutely devastated. He is adamant it is over. First night alone, It all seems so overwhelming and I'm not sure how I will get thorough this. I'm pushing 40 and wondering if I will ever be with anyone again. Even the thought of starting over seems exhausting. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Tonight just concentrate on you and the kids. Over the weekend treat yourself to some new bedding, maybe move the furniture round in the bedroom, anything to make it feel like its yours now rather than yours as a couple.

Start getting finances in order, it doesn't take long for the friendliness to evaporate.

Take things a day at a time, the pain comes in waves and will hit you at random times. There's always someone on here, whatever time of the day or night you need them xx

Thank you for getting me through the evening. Hopefully it can only get better from tonight

You've got this. We're all here if you need

Time is truly a healer. It will get better slowly, you may not notice it, but one day you will look back and it will be just bad memories. You will find joy again in life and excitement for the future. Just be patient and very kind to yourself. Hold on. Allow yourself the time you need to go through different emotions.

You are starting the next part of your life and you're only 39. Many women go through this 10 or 20 years older so time is on your side.
Very best of luck in the future. Be really kind to yourself while you adjust to your new life.

@GiantPinkUnicorn

Time is truly a healer. It will get better slowly, you may not notice it, but one day you will look back and it will be just bad memories. You will find joy again in life and excitement for the future. Just be patient and very kind to yourself. Hold on. Allow yourself the time you need to go through different emotions.

This really chimes with me, esp "you may not notice it". I've been on my own with the dcs for several years now & can still remember how all at sea i felt at first. But in time we got into new habits, without forcing things, we just evolved, and honestly now i don't think i would chose to live with a partner again.

His loss your gain. Everything happens for a reason, one day you will be so happy and realise that's why this happened.
Also you have your wonderful children xxxx

You are free ! I'm exited for you and all the possibilities that lie ahead.
Sending hugs