Why do i feel this way about my husband

[Kitty165]

We have a gorgeous 2 month old baby. But I am worn out. I have no help whatsoever. My husband works from 4pm until about 2am and doesn't take her at all during the nights or the day. He also does part time farming for 1 or 2 hours in the morning.

Our 1 year anniversary was last week and he got me nothing. Not even a card or a hug.

He can see that I'm not coping but won't acknowledge it. He might make me a bottle every now ans again or get up in the monrings at his leisure and thinks hes helping me when really hes just making himself breakfast when i havent eatwn at all and i just want someone to take the baby for an hour or so. Even just a cup of tea would be nice.

I feel so alone. I will try to join a meet up group with other mums but it's hard to even find the time to organise that.

Please tell me there are other mum's in the same boat?

He's a shit husband and a shit dad. You say he can see you're not coping, have you actually told him this?

You'd have less to do if he moved out, wouldn't you?

I’m not the huggy type but please have a hug from me. And I’m sure there are other mums in your situation but that doesn’t make it any better or your husband’s behaviour any more excusable.

Whatever his “reasons”, he’s being an arse. Sadly, with a tiny baby, you’re not best equipped to deal with fuckwittery of that sort - but have you put your cards on the table and said something like, ‘Look, sunshine, here’s what I need…. Now step up and give it to me’? If you have and he’s not listened, do you have any other support? Mum, sister, friend, colleague, neighbour?

Its still early days, things will get better. You do need to talk to your husband though. It sounds as though nothing has changed for him.

He's doing ten hour shifts until 2am, plus an additional 2 hours farming work in the morning?

I imagine he's also exhausted.

Sounds like you need to speak to each other more. But I think pp's are being unfair, it hardly sounds like he's a heartless bastard living the life of riley and relaxing all day...it sounds like he's working a ridiculous amount of hours to be honest.

@BernieBaby

He's doing ten hour shifts until 2am, plus an additional 2 hours farming work in the morning?

I imagine he's also exhausted.

Sounds like you need to speak to each other more. But I think pp's are being unfair, it hardly sounds like he's a heartless bastard living the life of riley and relaxing all day...it sounds like he's working a ridiculous amount of hours to be honest.

Hmm.No matter how exhausted you are, it doesn’t take much extra effort to make your wife breakfast when you’re making your own or to offer her a cup of tea. But, yes, OP, talk to him if you haven’t already. Sometimes people do need the blindingly obvious spelling out.

Honestly, this isn't the norm.
This man is not helping enough and sounds thoughtless. Would you be better on your own with baby?

Sorry guys. It's meant to read that he works from 4pm to 12. But yes I imagine he is very tired too. Thanks for all your comments they have given me a great lift! I'll respond properly tomorrow as the babba is having her bottle and getting ready for bed