Just at a loss and looking for some words of wisdom, inspiration or experience. Happily married with 1 little girl, only 18 months. I say happily - we have had our moments bickering and arguing which having a toddler seems to have brought, but we get on ok and we love each other and both want things to work. Neither DH or I are close to our families (long stories) and though we are not non-contact we only see them every couple of months, and even that is mainly for the sake of our DD. We currently live in London where we both work, however I lost my livelihood due to the pandemic and so since having DD have been stay at home mum with no bubble. We don't live in a family friendly area. It's tough being to main carer for a toddler and I don't find it fulfilling even though I love her to bits!
Husband works in a decent job but things have been tough with Covid affecting staff shortage and he has had a lot of stress in his work the last year.
Everyone I know, basically all my friends are moving out of London after having kids, to larger homes, country living, fresh air etc. I only have 3 original friends left in London and one is looking to move ASAP, the other won't be long. The rest moved out over the last few years or finally during Covid and are now scattered over the world so whilst I chat on WhatsApp I really don't have a social life anymore, and that's before you factor in being mum to a toddler!
We don't have any real ties or any area pulling us back. Some of my friends have moved "back home" or moved to be closer to parents or whatever. None of this applies to us. We need to find somewhere to make our home for our family. Obviously schools and our DD's future life is the major factor, but so is our happiness. We absolutely love London and it's diversity, but can't afford to live in any decent large space centrally. We don't want to live in the suburbs where we have a long journey in and where we have no ties and no passion or love. We love living in central London.
So do we stay in central London and just live in a small flat and change how we perceive our lifestyle for the next 18 years? Or do we try to find somewhere else in the UK with a "pull"? We have no ties but at the same time we feel we love London so we don't want to leave.
I don't quite know what I'm asking, but I feel that as DD is 18 months we are on the cusp of this decision. I feel an awful lot of pressure that our next move will be defining the rest of our family life- I don't know if that's silly. The perfect move doesn't exist - or does it? I know how unbelievably privileged it is of me to even have these thoughts and to have choices. I feel anxiety that we will make the wrong choice and be stuck.
Did anyone else feel this way when their DC were young - that the next 18 years pan out in front of you ready to be decided upon?