Does anyone else just hate their birthday?

[DietCokeChipsAndMayo]

It’s my birthday today and it’s just shit, every year I’m counting down the hours until it’s over
It doesn’t help that my birthday falls in the middle of half term every year so I’m usually solo parenting all day, at least if they were in school I could have a relaxing bath or take myself for lunch or something
I don’t think I’ve ever actually enjoyed a birthday since I was about 8
Does anyone else feel like this?
And if you enjoy it what do you enjoy about it?

Happy birthday 🥳

I happen to like my birthday. I like receiving gifts and I usually do something special to celebrate (meal with DH, spa day, day trip to another city) either on the actual day or on the closest weekend.

Happy Birthday!

I love mine, but I always organise seeing friends and celebrating either on the day or nearby and plan stuff to do that I enjoy “it’s my birthday so I get to choose how I celebrate, you choose when it’s yours”. We have a lot of birthday traditions which I think helps and I make a big deal of other peoples days so put the same effort in to mine.
DHs family all do Amazon wish lists so I have an idea of the gifts Ill get too which helps.

I’m sorry you’re having (another) crappy birthday. I get it, I get quite down about them now, although I used to love them. I think some people are just in a situation where a birthday is not going to be automatically fun and it can just flag up feeling miserable.

I'm not keen on mine op. Luckily my family know that I don't like a fuss and just let me celebrate/not celebrate as I choose.

I think a lot of it is because I find occasions too much pressure. Like NYE for example. I don't want to stay up late and drink prosecco , but I've often been called boring in the past for wanting to have a normal day.

I hate it too, I was made to feel unwanted as a child and was chucked out of my home at 16 and left to fend for myself.
My birthday only reminds me that nobody wanted me. I'm fine the rest of the year but have a depressive episode every year at this time. I just can't wait until it's all over.

Happy birthday.

I feel the same way about mine, I honestly would be happiest not even acknowledging it. Had a miserable one this year- middle of lockdown, horrible weather, our car had been in the garage for weeks so we couldn’t even drive to go for a nice walk somewhere. I cried a bit and just thought ‘I’m not celebrating at all next year’.

That sounds tough OP. Are you a single parent?

I love my birthdays as dh & dc make a fuss of me. It's not about expensive presents but they always make a nice breakfast (even when it falls on a weeekday) & bring it to me in bed - croissants / fresh juice / coffee type thing. I get cards & usually nice flowers & small box of fav chocolates.

We might go out for dinner or get a take away & have bubbles & cake.

I hope you get to steal an hour to yourself today or buy a nice cake & have a tea party with your dc. Nice bath & glass of wine & your fav dinner when they're in bed. Get them involved in celebrating if you can.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Hate mine because it’s a few days after NY and just the most miserable day of the year - dark, post Christmas, sales full of tat, everyone broke, exhausted and doing dry January and it’s usually the first day back to work.
Plus it’s the day I entered the world and I’m a crap human being who’s led a useless life so what’s to celebrate?

In my next life I’m coming back in June as a cardiothoracic surgeon

Happy birthday.
I love mine, it’s usually in another half term, my DC are grown up now so I often go on a city break with my DH. When my DC were younger we’d often go on a family holiday. If I’m not on holiday I plan lots of nice things. This year was a lockdown birthday, I went for a walk on my own in the snow, my DH did well buying me some nice treats from the supermarket as all other shops were closed. Then I arranged a tapas takeaway from a local restaurant. It was a really lovely day.
On big birthdays I always arrange a big party for myself and a holiday a few days after.

Happy Birthday

But yes I hear you, mine is always the first week of the summer hols so as a kid no one would come to parties as always away.

As an adult I don't think anyone has ever made a real fuss, my 21st was abysmal, 30 was completely overlooked, 40 was in lockdown and although everyone made all the noises about celebrating this year no one did. My parents didn't even buy me a gift because I didn't know what I wanted so they decided their gift would be a party which obviously couldn't happen. Got told to shout when I saw what I wanted, have done and still 18 months on nothing.

I keep saying I will stop making any effort for others and then feel bad so do. I need to stop being a people pleaser

Happy Birthday!

I hate my birthday too. I have done since I was about 18. My parents used to go on holiday the day before or day of my birthday and I'd stay at home (mostly because I'd be too bored on holiday). So I was alone the day of my birthday and didn't have anyone other than my one close friend. We used to just go out drinking but would have liked to have had the effort that everyone else in my family got. When I turned 21, I had my friend, my partner and his friends but by that time I just grew to HATE my birthday. My 23rd bday has just past in september there and I hated it. I made such an effort for my partners bday (balloons, cake, bunting, lots of lovely gifts etc). I knew he wasn't going to have much money for my bday this year but I asked him to at least put up some banners (which I had already bought) and he couldnt even be bothered to do that. Next year I am booking myself a hotel and I'll celebrate my bday alone the way I want to haha. I have kids but he can take the day off to look after them since I never got any effort

My mum hates her birthday to the point that we can't even mention it. It's literally the day that shall not be named. It's what makes her happiest so we all go along with it, maybe just say to everyone in your close circle that that's what you would prefer?

I do try and get her things the rest of the year that I think she'll like, just not on her birthday. I think she associates it with getting older and failing to meet her ridiculously high expectations of herself.

Honestly I wish I could give her a course of therapy to come to terms with the person she is rather than who she beats herself up that she isn't, but that would go down like a lead balloon, so instead we just pretend her birthday doesn't exist.

Ah thank you all for the happy birthdays!

I’m so glad I’m not the only one, all you ever see on social media on people’s birthdays is parties/meals/brunches, balloons, champagne, flowers and presents not to mention the reshare after reshare on stories of people wishing them a happy birthday on their stories and you really do feel like the only person on the planet not to have all of that

The pressure is definitely a massive part of what I hate too @ToastCrumbsOnAPlate, the pressure to have lots of plans and have a lovely time, I hate it! I also hate NYE too!

I think if I had a group of friends I would feel better, if I could just create a group chat and say let’s do xyz for my birthday, but I have one friend here and one friend over there and some of them don’t even know each other - so doing something with friends is out

There’s also a lot going on with wider family this year (lots of illness and recent deaths or looming deaths) so a lot of people have very understandably forgotten my birthday which feels extra shit

Eurgh is it too early to go to bed 🙈

@Xiaoxiong I have tried this in the past, my Mum would never ever let a birthday go by without at least buying me presents
I’ve tried this before, particularly on big birthdays which are even worse for pressure and she’s twice threw me a surprise party which I’ve hated with every fibre of my being and ended up drinking way too much to get through it then being carried home and put to bed and those occasions are talked about forever more - seriously every single family gathering the most recent one gets brought up, no matter how many other people in the family get too drunk in the mean time, we always revert to mocking the two times I’ve done it 🙄

Don’t go to bed, how about planning a takeaway. Or how old are your DC? Would they like to help mum make a special birthday tea or go
out for tea if you can afford it? Any films you fancy watching later? A nice bath and glass of wine when the DC are in bed?

I don’t mind it but I don’t like being made a fuss of so cake and a takeaway is fine by me

I hate it, too. I get horribly morbid and depressed around that time, every bloody year.

Not keen on mine. I only receive 3 cards these days. However I do get many burthday wishes on facebook.

I hear you OP - I live alone, no partner or children and no wider family left and I always feel miserable and 'down' around the time of, and on, my birthday. Feel fortunate if I even receive a card or two from friends who live miles away. I think, for me, it reinforces the sense of lonliness and the awareness that there is nobody with whom I can share the day, have a celebratory drink or even a slice of cake.

Yes, it's shit and probably the worst day of the year and I am always pleased when it is over!

Happy birthday to you though

Happy Birthday.

We are very low key on birthdays, there is a present at breakfast, maybe cake in the afternoon if it is a weekend and if it is under the week we go out for dinner.

Family is far away and friends will congratulate and that's enough for me.

My birthday is early December so going anywhere is pointless as restaurants are always booked up months in advance.

Happy birthday!

I find it's like new years eve, I have expectations which are never met. And I am not a high maintenance person but generally I find that I get my hopes up that my DH might have bought a card or a present which wasn't a last minute Asda dash in the afternoon because he forgot, or the DC might have remembered. I usually end up crying a bit to myself. It's miserable. I think next time I might book a day out just for me!

Happy birthday ! Also my birthday today . Last year I was in isolation and wasn’t the greatest but had a lovely day today . My parents , sister , niece and nephew came and we went out for lunch . I’m a single parent so that element is tough but my mum always makes an effort for me and the kids dad gets me something from them .

I'm not bothered about birthdays. I don't get 'low', I'm just not assed by them. Happy to have a deliveroo and be done with it.
Unfortunately DHs parents are the opposite and are all "did you do something WONDERFUL for your bday"! No. Its really awkward- they are also the types that get mortally offended if you send a card late or don't text happy birthday. Drives me mad. You'd think I'd thrown a brick through their window the response is so frosty!

I feel the same too about my birthday. Ever since my dad died (whom I shared the same birth date with) I have no reason to celebrate my birthday and now my mom has passed away too I absolutely hate celebrating it. I feel a sense of dread whenever it approaches

My birthday is the first day of spring. I don't know why, but I usually feel very low around my birthday, but I am not sure if it has anything to do with my birthday or just the time of year in general...we are a very low key family regarding birthdays for adults...my mum usually remembers to send me a birthday text, some times a card...my husband facilitates a very small present from the children and we will probably go out for a meal or get a takeaway, but nothing is really planned.