Im pregnant four months after one fallopian tube was removed extremly worried...

[Bibblebabblebaby1419]

At the end of May this year, after 7 weeks in and out of EPU I was rushed into surgery to have my right fallopian tube and ectopic pregnancy removed.
The procedure went well and I handled the emotional side quiet well also (I think)
The problem is, I'm now (and just found out) am 5 weeks pregnant, initially after the surgery I wanted to have another baby...I now know for the wrong reasons...
One because I had no choice in the removal of part of my reproductive system and I was hurting that my chances of having another baby were limited and out of my control. I have 2 children aged 9 and 2 that I'm incredibly grateful for.
I chose not to go on birth control after my operation because at the time, and following research it explained my chances after surgery were low for 18-36 months and my age 31 decreased my chances of having another child even further.
So 6 weeks after surgery my 1st period began, and on time for 3 months. After each period, I knew I didn't really want another baby.. but I was sad I wasn't pregnant....confusing right! So after my last period 21st September...I realised that I'm not entirely happy with my partner...that came out the blue (not sure if it's because I hate him, I'm hormonal, his a dick, I'm a dick....I'm working I'm doing the kids hobbies I'm looking after 2 kids and the house and bills (this is my responsibility and I have no problem in doing the above for myself and children) however, my partner is now bearing much resemblance to my children, by this I mean I feel like I have 3 children)... I've completely gone off intimacy with him (his getting fat and lazy)
The issues I'm confused with and wondered if anyone had any advice is...
A) I would love another child, ideally in the perfect time, however with one fallopian tube and my age I feel like this could be my last chance...which makes this decision so tough.
B) although compensating an abortion, In my heart I know 99.9% infact almost 100 per cent certain I could not go through with that.
C) My 2 kids have already had enough problems we've had to face the past few years and to have another baby when we have just found balance feels like I will be taking that all away from them again.
D) current partner is not father of my children, this means if I have this child I am stuck with him in my life for the next 18years...one ex is enough...
E) what if I can't cope with 3 kids
F) what if I have an abortion, what will happen to my mentality?
G) do I just except I'm having a 3rd baby and adjust....
H) how can I end my relationship and keep his baby???
I) I'm at serious risk of losing my remaining fallopian tube and another ectopic pregnancy
Im in such a state of stress, if any one can shed some advice or light please please do
Thank you xx

Gosh, that's a lot for you to take on board.
Remember, the choice is yours and yours alone.
He does sound unsupportive, but is this new? It could be all those hormones and delayed reaction to trauma making you feel things more.

I would recommend as a first step contacting your GP to obtain a referral to an Early Pregnancy unit. Following an ectopic pregnancy you need an early scan to make sure that this isn't another ectopic.
Once this first step is in place then you can plan for the way ahead.
There isn't really a perfect time to have a baby it's normal to have doubts particularly when it is unexpected and you are still recovering from a trauma.

Am on first name terms with my EPU and they have scheduled me in for next week for bloods and scan. Thats one less worry. They have also said they will help me with a Councillor to support me, because im so worried stressed overthinking. Its hard knowing you have literally a few weeks to make a life changing decision, and possibly take a life that I created away just seems so cruel and unfair but knowing that I will have to stop my childrens horse ridding hobby (again) and football and stop my cleaning business that ive just got going really well...feels like im going to have to lose everything ive worked so hard for.
Partner is not happy that I dont want another child and is having a strop. Knowing that i am struggling and hormonal and emotionally stressed because this is soley my choice at the end of the day. I am taking his opinion that he wants this baby thoughtfully and considerably however i just know as this would be his 1st the novelty and trophy is how he sees this child. He cant even take a bin bag out....if he would just go and never contact me again id have this baby happily....i just dont want him stuck in my life for ever.....god im definitely hormonal x thank you for your advice xx

Thank you, had not even considered delayed trauma...which makes a lot of sense to how i am feeling. Just feel selfish to make a decision when this baby is half his....also im so scared i will be haunted having abortion will stay with me and feel guilty for the rest of my life x

Take one thing at a time. First priority is to make sure there is nothing medically wrong. You can't deal with all of these things at once and you have plenty of time.
Once that is sorted, start thinking about your feelings about your partner and assess whether these have always been like this or if it's new.
One question I always ask myself is 'If I was in trouble/danger would I run to him for support and know that he would look after me?'
My DH can be a bit useless and lazy at times, but the answer to this has always been a resounding 'yes', and has always been proved right when I have really needed him.
Hugs to you 🫂

Thank you so much, your reply has given me food for thought ....
Yes he proberly would do anything for me...but we have spent a week apart and I am so content with being alone...I like speaking to him, I like him in general but I feel like I'm forcing myself to try to love him....and it don't feel right...I just want to be on my own, I feel protective of this new growing life in me I just wish I felt as happy to be pregnant as I was when I had my exes babies 😔

You've had such a rough time, I'm so sorry.

The thing that jumps out to me is that you'd been given to understand you had a low chance of a pregnancy after removal of one fallopian tube at age 31. That's absolutely not true! Did you have proper advice on this? If so, I would be complaining. A very quick google would have told you it was nonsense.

Obviously, it's impossible to know the future, but you should not be pinning your decision on the worry this is almost certainly your 'last chance' at pregnancy. I'm looking at notes from my clinic, and they say about 70-80% of women your age will get have a natural pregnancy within two years of trying, with one functioning fallopian tube.

You absolutely can decide to keep this pregnancy and also decide that this man isn't worth it, too.

The first thing to do is to get the tests to find out what the situation is with this pregnancy. Do you think maybe counselling about options would be helpful? Your GP might be able to refer you/give you numbers for clinics.