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Original poster

Awkward manager

14 replies

BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 21:15

I started this new role a month ago.

My new manager started out really friendly and nice but lately he has been really awkward around me.

He will not look at me when he speaks to me. He will address and giving eye contact with everybody bar me. Sometimes I will catch a quick flash of his eye contact but that’s it.

I have been told I am friendly and warm so it is quite annoying that I am not receiving any relationship building when it comes to non verbal communication.

Other than this annoying trait he has been great with me in terms of requests, literally yes to everything I want.

Should I confront him and ask him whether I have offended him in anyway? If I was in his shoes I would have appreciate someone told me. Or should I just keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is fine?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 26/10/2021 21:19

You've not offended him - either he fancies you or he's worried you're not doing your job properly yet

MiloAndEddie · 26/10/2021 21:23

Are you the only female on your team?

Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 21:31

I am not the only female and he certainly does not fancy me. He is married!

I am just worried that he thinks he had made the wrong choice by hiring me. I want to do a great job so I have been working very hard to achieves my target. But his lack of eye contact has concerned me. It makes me feel that I had disappointed him in such a way that he cannot even look at me.

I want to speak to him about this. How should I approach this?

OP posts:
Palavah · 26/10/2021 21:34

Have you had a 1:1 to review your performance? Can you ask for one now that you have done a month in role to gather feedback and agree a plan for the next phase? That should tease out any issues.

I also suspect he fancies you.

TheCaddieisaBaddie · 26/10/2021 21:35

Either he has had a sex dream in which you have featured or you are trying too hard to make eye contact with him which is making him feel uncomfortable.

I'm going with sex dream.

Allsorts1 · 26/10/2021 21:41

I wouldn’t ask him why he isn’t making eye contact with you, no. But as a PP said maybe ask for a 1:1 or review and keeping things strictly professional ask about your performance. If he’s all positive and still awkward then that’s just the way it is, no point making it strange and personal and demanding to know why he’s not making eye contact or trying to get him to admit he fancies you!

Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 21:44

I had the 1:1 and was not great fun I can tell you that. He just said I have been doing ‘fine’ for the whole duration and no eye contact the whole time! The only time he looked at me is when I turned my head and when I turned to look at him he was either looking at the screen or staring at my arm!

When I pressed him for any feedback he did said is still early days so no worries if I came across any issues just let him know and he will sort it out.

He is not a bad manager just the lack of constructive criticism and eye contact that really bugs me. I like to clear the awkward air with him any suggestions?

OP posts:
Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 21:47

@TheCaddieisaBaddie

Either he has had a sex dream in which you have featured or you are trying too hard to make eye contact with him which is making him feel uncomfortable.

I'm going with sex dream.

Nobody has told me I have intense eye contact so I will rule that out.

Is there any other possibility besides anything to do with fancying?

OP posts:
SkyLarkDescending · 26/10/2021 22:10

Have you accidentally flashed him?!

Have you overheard him or caught him doing anything embarrassing?

Has he overheard you sharing personal information with colleagues that he thinks he shouldn't know??

TSSDNCOP · 26/10/2021 22:16

Is there any other possibility besides anything to do with fancying?

Nope

Does he stay seated after you leave a meeting Wink

Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 22:21

@TSSDNCOP

Is there any other possibility besides anything to do with fancying?

Nope

Does he stay seated after you leave a meeting Wink

Stay seated? Is his office of course he stay. What’s the sexual connotation?

I really like this job.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 22:27

@SkyLarkDescending

Have you accidentally flashed him?!

Have you overheard him or caught him doing anything embarrassing?

Has he overheard you sharing personal information with colleagues that he thinks he shouldn't know??

Nothing sexual that’s for sure.

Should I ask him about his wife to get rid of this awkward air? I really want him to like (not fancy but keen to keep me in his team) me :(

OP posts:
ginandbearit · 26/10/2021 22:27

Er..he may be pleased to see you and not be able to stand up without people noticing that he's er standing up ...

Original poster
BlackMirror74 · 26/10/2021 22:35

@ginandbearit

Er..he may be pleased to see you and not be able to stand up without people noticing that he's er standing up ...
He crossed his legs the whole time. No worries there.

Oh well either way he is great with my requests. I will just pretend this lack of eye contact doesn’t bother me and see what happened at my month 6 probation review.

OP posts:
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