People piss off when you're going through a tough patch

[toecoffin]

But they are too dumb to realise that you don't forget the ones who only used you when things were going well

I'm sorry you're having a tough time OP - do you want to talk about it?

Sometimes people are weak, or they have a lot going on in their own lives with zero extra capacity and can't offer extra support to others when they need it. It's hard to be on the receiving end though

@toecoffin

But they are too dumb to realise that you don't forget the ones who only used you when things were going well

I've come to appreciate the people who give me space to get on with figuring things out.

It's the ones who demand you stay upbeat and look to criticise you for having feelings or showing emotions that I'm learning are the real horrors.

Wishing you the best either way OP

I agree, @ohnoisaid2much, I appreciate space when I have difficult stuff going on. ‘Check ins’ that require a response or require me to be a certain way don’t help.

OP, have you told people what you would like them to do?

Thanks appreciate your comments

I'm going through a bereavement. I run a local business which was going well. I had to take some time out to care for my family and now a lot of the community aren't using my business anymore or feel they've found a better thing

Also some so called friends have been fickle. Everyone talks these days about being open about your feelings but really a lot of people are weak and the minute someone is on a downer they turn to what they feel is the next best thing

However I've experienced some real gems of people too.

I’m sorry for your loss, OP.

I’d separate out the business from the personal side — and it’s hard to blame people for taking their business elsewhere if you’ve been closed, or have taken a long time to fill orders because of needing to take time off, even if they know and like you.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Whist I acknowledge every situation is different, I had to pull back from a supporting a very very good friend through an ongoing, traumatic time.

I’d become her punch bag. Told things such as ‘you’ll never understand’ and similar. She also was entirely focused on herself, never asked about me or my family (who were also going through a very difficult time) and generally became very difficult to support.

Not suggesting this is you, more pointing out that it’s not always clear cut.

I've actually kept going for a few loyal customers (I'm a face to face business) and have supported them even though I'm struggling at times

I value loyalty. I offer an excellent service and those that stick with me know it. But too many people who are weak just want to latch onto the next best thing even if it's superficial.

I have good plans for my business next year which isn't far off. I know who will be offered first chance to come along with me and it won't be the fickle ones

I'm a very strong person. Hardly ever lean on people. I've provided for my community above and beyond. So to expect just a little bit of support and loyalty is not unreasonable

A lot of the time, you wouldn't know what is happening in the lives of others, OP.
I can get why it seems hurtful, but take me for example: I have had two long lasting colds, that have left me feeling shit and made a holiday less than great.
I am being mentored by someone who is very controlling at work and who doesn't do the job right. I'm considering whether I can just afford to leave, although that is in the hands of managers to sort (or not)while I have a week off.
I've booked a holiday with family and now another member of the family is coming along. They have been a nightmare in the past, so I am now dreading a much needed break.
Lots of other small, stressful things have happened too, so while no disasters like your bereavement have happened to me, I just don't have the emotional bandwidth to give to anyone else.
I am sorry for your loss, but try not to take it personally. People turn onwards sometimes, when things are crap, and perhaps they don't know what to say