Just really embarrassed myself - dentist

[pointyheel]

This is so utterly ridiculous but I can't tell anyone in real life.

My life has taken a bad turn these last few years and I've gone from having a great salary to not being able to work at all. I've no money, fortunately I'm in a council place that I'm very grateful for but often use foodbanks etc:

Had a terrible tooth infection last week - my fault, should have registered with NHS but haven't got round to it. Got an appointment at a private dentist who barely looked in my mouth, slung me some antibiotics and charged me £80. I think I'm mostly cross with myself for not having a dentist and not getting the tooth seen to last year when it broke rather than at the man just making his living but somehow I let myself be mad at him.

The pack said 21 tablets but I realised there were only 15 inside so as it's no better several days later I called to ask if I could come and get the remaining tablets. Dentist said I could, but it'll have to be a prescription at £15.

I just absolutely lost it, crying, proper ugly crying, telling the poor receptionist my whole life story practically. It just all hit me all at once that everything is so fucking hard and I'm so ashamed at needing handouts and not just being able to afford things. I'd borrowed the £80 from my mum who I'll have to pay back over the next few months as it is. That extra £15 quid is almost a week of food!

The receptionist was so lovely and even offered to bring deliver the tablets to me. I declined as I'm just too embarrassed at how I let my emotions come out like that.

My daughter's been really unwell too, mental health wise, and I've been pushing on pushing on keeping going and I think I'm just at the end of my rope.

Sorry, that was long. And as I say, ridiculous! God what if I see this poor lady out and about (small town) or she knows someone I know. I feel so so silly

Do not feel ridiculous!! Sometimes these things happen and you can be holding yourself together and then at the most inconvenient time it all just becomes too much!
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I really hope your tooth is sorted ASAP and also that your daughter starts to feel better.

I'm sorry this happened and you are not wrong. You need to actually put in a complaint here. If you paid for a prescription for 21 tablets and you only got 15 that is not ok. I think many people are in this situation now and will do and say much worse in the dentist.

Please don't worry about it OP. The staff will feel nothing but empathy for you and they will likely have come across this many times before.

Thank you for the replies. I guess others must have done this kind of thing and she did seem really sympathetic. I just feel like a shadow of the person I used to be - a dentist bill would have been a total non event in the past.

So sorry this happened, she seems decent and we all know how hard things are these days.
I hope things get better for you 💐

A normal prescription for dental antibiotics is 5 days. So it's more likely they gave you the right prescription in the first place. If you need a new prescription then a further proper course of a different antibiotic should be given. If they meant to give you 7 days then they should bloody give you 7 days!

However you do have the right to be annoyed. To charge £80 for a cursory glance and some antibiotics is not on. Of course your abscess is not better, you need treatment. The dentist should have tried to drain the abscess properly or offered removal.

Don't be embarrassed, lots of people are in your position. It's a lot of money and you are still needing to pay more!

Don't worry I expect they get people crying daily in a dentist, I don't really know anyone who isn't scared of it etc.

Why don't you send an email asking for an explanation into the days they said were needed?

I don't blame you tbh. Dentistry in this country is an utter scandal. Of course wealthy people don't give a shit because they can afford decent private treatment.

I ugly cry a a lot.

There isn't many who haven't seen me ugly cry!

Hand hold my ugly cry sister

It's absolutely ok to show your emotions. Sounds like you're really struggling, health problems especially when they're expensive is so so stressful. Don't be embarrassed, it's a waste of your energy. Put some time aside and do some life admin, get yourself registered, book the appointments you need.

Hope things get better for you

It’s been a really tough time for lots of people, people are breaking down all over the place

You are not alone

I cried at airport check in a few weeks ago, proper sobbing. I had held it together for weeks and it just all came out . She just asked if I was having a panic attack (looked like she had dealt with that before)

I can’t breathe through my nose while my mouth is open (!) so faint away in the chair nearly every time I go to the dentist. No one gets annoyed.

I’ve also bawled and wailed my whole life story to one of my children’s teachers. He’s never mentioned it again.

You've not embarrassed yourself OP, I can't imagine this woman possibly thinks so, nobody would.

Sorry things are ao difficult, I hope things improve and the tooth situation is resolved quickly. You can call 111 if you need to source urgent NHS dental treatment I think? Apologies if that's wrong, but I'm sure they can advise re: antibiotics etc.

I found a private dentist who cares same as nhs. I attended an emergency appointment got anti bitocis for 30 quid including scale and polish. I pay monthly for prescriptions so they was free. I even got a referral to dental hospital for this

are you on universal credit as you said your unable to work? If so I think you may get help with prescription costs? I'm sure iv seen it on the back of a prescription form. Hope you feel better and don't feel embarrassed we have all been there! Feel better x

Believe me, the receptionist will have seen a LOT worse than somebody having a little cry when things get on top of them. It may be at the forefront of your own mind because it happened to you, but after asking if you wanted the antibiotics delivered, I bet she gave it not a moments thought.

If it says 21 and you should have had 21 then complain (although someone upthread mentioned you might have actually been given the correct amount so I’d check first).

At your earliest convenience, register with a NHS dentist.

Don’t let it get to you. You had a bad day and are in a difficult position at the moment. You are not even remotely unique in that regard.

Thanks so much I feel a lot better about being a wally.

@Gymohithoughtyousaidgin I do get free prescriptions but this dentist doesn't write NHS prescriptions, only private ones which he said were £15.

What I should have done is calmly explained my circumstances but I just got so overwhelmed. Eurghh.

I'm looking at NHS places now and will make a couple of calls and hopefully get something booked in soon. Thanks so much for the hand holds

Under sedation in the dentist's I once told the nurse I was a werewolf and could she be careful. That was embarrassing
Things get too much sometimes, you're only human and you didn't insult her or anything! I'm sure she's seen a lot worse.

@pointyheel

Hi,

Megan here! I wish I could help solve your problem, but I can hopefully feel better by letting you know I know what it is like to be in that situation and a funny story following it to make you laugh!

As someone who struggles financially, I can totally sympathise with how you feel. A lot of pressure releases at seemingly shallow sources of stress or completely innocent people we interact with . My partner had just lost her job (yes, I am bi), and we were already in debt and my wages were not enough to keep up with all of our costs..So one day, I was driving back from work (I work as a painter in newly renovated houses) and a paint box in the back of my car spilled. So after a day of how to make Megan miserable that included a boss yelling at me because I painted a wall the colour the owner wanted without informing her, a small minor collision in the morning on the way to work which scratched my car, and a call from my daughter's teacher saying she was going to get an after school detention for plagiarising homework , I was driving at 50 in a 30 mile zone to reach home asap. And voila, as sod's law would have it an undercover cop car pulled me over and a young policewoman (probably a new grad) had to detain me because, again , as sod's law would have it I did not have any ID at point. While we waited for my partner to get and user to the location with my ID, she asked me all these relaxed questions like what I did the weekend before. And randomly, I had the exact same breakdown that you describe here...albeit at the policewoman. I told her all my problems and completely broke down. By the time my partner came, she thought I was arrested just seeing me sobbing and my hands were folded in a way where she thought they were cuffed (they were not). The nice girl gave me a hug and just let me off with a warning.

But things got better than that, it takes time but things well get better!

Now onto a more fun embarrassing at a dentist story to make you feel better:-

As far as embarrassing stories at the dentist go, a couple of years ago my daughter and I were scheduled to see the dentist at around 8:30 am for a routine early morning appointment near our flat (we live in Reading). The night before my daughter and I stayed over at my sister's at Swindon (I had a bit too much of wine so could not drive back without breaking the law). We woke up at around 7:00 (so we were already sort of late), and my sister did not have any spare toothbrushes (they only used manual and were out of ) . We thought to head back home to Reading, brush our teeth and then go to the dentist in time. Except there was so much traffic on the way, and we only barely reached the dentists with unbrushed teeth. My daughter went in first, and as she came out she told me that the dentist lady was not impressed and had given her a very strong mouthwash so her breath was manageable. I went in, and as soon as I went in, she gave me a lecture about how as a mum I should take care of my daughter's oral hygiene. Then before I could explain myself, she asked me to sit on the chair and examine me. And as she asked me to open my own stinking with morning breath mouth, she just said "Ah, now I know why".....

I feel so sorry for you, OP ❤️❤️❤️

I once had terrible ongoing tooth pain that was so difficult to diagnose the cause.

My dentist was lovely but had to do some really horrible nerve checks to work out tooth was the actual problem.

I ending up sobbing in the waiting room and once I started I just couldn't stop. Proper, shoulder shaking sobs.

Other patients must have been terrified of going in!

I really hope things pick up for you soon xxx

Oh @Megansx 😂😂 that cheered me up! Thank you xx

Please don't worry op. We all have down days and our emotions can surprise us sometimes. And there's nothing more draining than when one of our DC is ill. And I'm really sorry about your job/financial situation. You have good reason to have lost it, and that's usually the case in this sort of scenario. And the receptionist obviously recognised that.

I recently broke down during a CT scan. I was so embarrassed because I try not to make a fuss and it completely took me off guard. I realised it was the cumulation of Brexit, Covid and the stress related to those things, and then the loss of a really close friend. The nurses were lovely though and understood.

I am sure if the tables had been turned, you would have understood. And if a friend broke down like that in front of you, you would have reassured them that there was no need to feel embarrassed or guilty. So be a friend to yourself and give yourself the same understanding and consideration

Oh, if we’re doing embarrassing dentist stories to cheer OP up, on my last visit, I left the dentists chair, went down to reception to book another appointment, left the dentists, walked around town for an hour browsing the shops, got home, and it was only after passing a mirror I realised I was still wearing the protective goggles they give you to wear during your examination and had to go back to hand them in

Bless you! You won't be the first or last. Dental pain is enough to make you cry anyway, add in a dispute and money and it's totally understandable why you broke down on the phone.

I completely broke down on the phone to someone from a car insurance company when renewing my insurance. I was heavily pregnant and emotional anyway but I lost it because I couldn't get my head around the policy agreement and fees. The lady was lovely but I was thoroughly embarrassed!

@pointyheel

Oh *@Megansx* 😂😂 that cheered me up! Thank you xx

@pointyheel

Glad! Take care of yourself and yu will get through this x