Childrens party- 4 year old DD no invites

[0verth1inker]

Hello, I know I’m overthinking this a lot so please reassure me!
My DD age 4 has started reception. There have been 3 birthday parties so far and she’s not been invited to any. She knows around half the class from nursery and has made friends with new children. I do most drop offs and pick ups and chat with the mums (I know a lot of them but also the new mums!). She says she plays with lots of different children.
None are all class parties- all maybe 10-15 kids? Her 2 best friends have been invited to 2 of them but not her. The first she wasn’t bothered but she’s been a bit upset about the other as they were talking about it before half term.
I know kids can’t be invited to every party, I know it’s not a big deal but obviously it’s hard seeing DD sad! Is it often a slow start and invites come later? I just reassure her numbers are limited, carry on playing with lots of kids and she can have a party for her birthday in Jan if nothing else.
I am a people pleaser and take things to heart and overthink a lot so I’m worried I’ve/she’s done something but I’m sure it’s just kids saying the first 10 names that pop into their heads and she’s not made it!
Also- I know a v small problem, not an issues I’d never say anything. But she’s my PFB and I’m just worried she won’t be invited for anything if they all make friends at these parties and she’s missed from the group!

Also thanks all for not saying I’m bonkers/precious/ridiculous!

I agree to play dates and also to making an effort with the other parents beyond quick polite chat at pick up or drop off.

When is your DD’s birthday?

Not til late Jan. That’s the thing I do chat a lot to the parents and see them in the park etc especially the ones we knew from nursery!

But chatting in the park isn’t the same as you don’t get the chance to react establish a friendship with another parent that will benefit your child. It really needs to be play dates or a parents only evening meet up etc.

Ok @CreepySpider I will make more effort! Thank you :)

It is really difficult though and I appreciate that. But the enforced sociability of play dates is so much more effective for your child’s friendships than a more distracted chat at the play ground.

My eldest DD was one of the youngest in her class and took a while to be invited to parties. Then her sister, who was the oldest, started the year with a group party and has been invited to loads since and I’m sure it’s purely because it’s reciprocal.

It's very much the done thing here for kids that age, that all the class are invited for this very reason. Certainly in P1, age 4/5 in Scotland.

Don't worry Ul be bored sick of them soon enough but it does seem mean to only invite some kids and leave others out.

Thanks @thetesdybears :) yes I’m sure i will regret it eventually but DD loves a party so sure it’ll be worth it!