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Depressed friend

1 reply

moominmima · 24/10/2021 20:28

I’m after a bit of help. I met my friend when we were both with our partners and pregnant with our children. Over the past few years, her relationship has fallen apart and she and partner have been though incredibly messy custody battles with both parties behaving terribly to each other. She moved, taking the children away from her ex and he has followed and now they have shared custody but every week the hand over is confrontational. She is on anti depressants and suffered from postpartum depression and sees a therapist weekly but nothing seems to be helping and most week she sends me voice messages in tears.
I have no idea how to support her being 2 hours away. I always try not to take sides because I know that neither party is making good decisions and I only hear one side. They seem to be stuck in a toxic negative cycle and I worry for my friend and her children.
They are constantly being taken to A&E after trips to their dad’s but (and I’m going to sound horrible saying it) it’s almost like she’s looking for a reason to prove they can’t be with him. Surely someone professional would be doing something if the kids were in danger?
Any advice on what to say and how to help my friend? She’s so miserable and I’m a bit ‘happy go lucky’ and I can’t imagine how infuriating me pointing out the positives must be for her. TIA

OP posts:
Chocaholic9 · 25/10/2021 11:45

This sounds really difficult. It doesn't sound like there's much you can say to make it better. I would just keep repeating when she messages you, something like: "that sounds really tough, I'm sorry". I wouldn't point out positives or make suggestions.

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