If a good friend of yours was having hospital treatment would you check in on them?

[Scotishscotus292]

If they'd been quite poorly over the past year and were starting treatment (immunotherapy requiring a day in hospital every few weeks) would you check in to see how they were (after the 1st round at least).

I think it would depend on how much my friend had told me about it but I expect I would let them know I was there if they needed anything.

Do you really need to ask?

If they'd told me themselves about the treatment then yes. Maybe not if I'd heard from somewhere else.

I would probably message a little before and say I hope all goes okay but then I would leave them a few days afterwards before contacting.

It’s actually quite exhausting to be ill and be going through treatment and then have to respond to people.

I hope it all goes well for you op

Yes

Depends what else I had going on, obviously I'd like to think l would but other things may get in way. Do you know if this applies to the friend you're angry with?

I would…but I think an awful lot of people don’t worry about others. I had a broken limb recently and very few people have been in touch or offered to help. I think since Covid particularly, many people have their own problems and don’t think of others. I may seem bitter and cynical but that’s my experience.

I hope the treatment goes well and you feel good okay.

Of course I would - it's what friends do. I kept in touch with a friend who was going through cancer treatment, because it kept her spirits up.

I know she didn't feel able to respond all the time, but she specifically said "keep them coming!" So I did.

Thanks everyone. I let the friend know and she did wish me luck then but I've heard nothing since. I also told 2 other friends who have been great. I dont expect a song and a dance but just a quick 'how did it go?' Or 'thinking of you'. Its the least I'd do if it was the other way around. This particular friend has done a few things recently to make me question the friendship so this may seem a bit of an over reaction.

Would depend how close we are and how often I am normally in touch. If we were very close I would be in regular contact anyway. If not then no.

yes I absolutely would!

My friends did at first with me when I had monthly treatment, but after a couple of months it was just routine and I never mentioned I was going unless I was trying to arrange something else.

Yes but not necessarily right away as I’d not want to intrude or make her feel like she has to talk if she doesn’t want to.

I’ve very much always taken the approach that if someone is having personal issues if they want to talk to me they will.

If it makes any difference I have an incredibly nosey mother and loath people sticking their nose in when I need personal private time.

But I would be in touch in some way with it the week yes.

Obviously yes.

Yes, I'd certainly text or ring a friend to ask how she was getting on, how the treatment was going.

Toddlerteaplease yeh I'll be the same, once the treatment becomes routine I won't even mention it unless someone asks. I generally don't like a fuss but the 1st one felt like a big step and it was a really long day. A text at some point in the week would have been appreciated.

Thanks for all the replies.

We're all different. If I'm going through something like that I have little headspace to think about replying to others. I'd prefer people gave it a week or two before asking, or even not asked at all. It can easily feel intrusive.

I'd message the people I message on a daily-ish basis, but I wouldn't message a friend I wouldn't normally do so.