Do you snoop in other people's houses?

[IThinkButImNotSureIAm]

I was discussing with a family member about how neither of us ever really snoop in other people’s houses.

The only thing I did was as a child I'd play dress up in my DM's clothes and makeup. My DS never played with our DM's clothes but she was always looking in every cabinet and cupboard in the house. She would always find our Christmas presents before they were even wrapped! But she doesn't do it anymore, and I don't think she ever looked in other people's cupboards.

But it made me wonder, do most people have a quick look in the cupboards and cabinets in other people’s houses?

If you do snoop around, why? And what is the most unexpected thing you have found?

No, don't like snooping at all. The worst offenders are the people who snoop on another persons phone,

And agree with PP, this sounds like a DM fisher for sure.

No but my job makes me very observant (it’s part of the job really) so I do notice things like when in peoples houses like when they open cupboards and you happen to look up. Not so much now but when people used to put their recycling out in clear bags I’d always notice what kinds of things were there

It would not enter my head to snoop in someone else’s home, especially cupboards, not family or friends.

However my DP found his friend in our bedroom when he was supposed to be in the loo. He asked him to leave and has barely spoken to him since, it was about 6 years ago, he was so annoyed.

No way. And I’m surprised that so many people have experienced it. My sister does it but she’s always been invasive and nosey. I deliberately hide anything I don’t want her to see when she comes to visit. However, she isn’t invited often!

My mother has always been obssessed about weight and has had weight issues and food issues that she has certainly passed on to me and my sister. So before she comes I always cut out the tags of all my clothes that say what size I am, because I have caught her looking (and going through my laundry basket to look).

I wouldn’t snoop around inside but if it’s dark and you leave your curtains open with the light on, then yeah I’m going to have a good old nosy (and maybe a dose of inspiration) as I walk past.

My daughter is free to go into my drawers and wardrobes, she doesn’t, but it’s not snooping if she does. I also don’t do it to her.

Other peoples houses are to me some one else’s home. But no genuinely never. I doubt my friends do it to me, likely they look in bathroom cabinet, I don’t know.

For the person who asks how it’s possible, it’s possible because people have over night guests

Never. I was accused of snooping by a lady who I babysat for when I was 13. Her 4 year old had run into her bedroom (which I had been told was out of bounds) and I had to grab him out of there quickly. When she got home she was AWFUL to me, shouty and horrid as obviously her son would never have done that and I was the one snooping. I never went back there, but the shame I felt even though I hadn't done anything wrong stayed with me forever.

I wouldn’t look inside drawers or cupboards but I admit I have occasionally popped my head around an ajar door to have a look inside a bedroom when popping upstairs to use the bathroom in friend’s houses, generally only if I haven’t ever seen inside the room before. I admit it is just pure nosiness, wondering what the rooms are like (size, decor etc). I don’t do it every time and I wouldn’t push open a shut door but if the door is open and I can sneak a quick peep on my way past I might do.

I really have no desire to snoop. I don't care what other people have in their homes at all. I really hate areas that are cluttered with shelves and drawers full of stuff and get a headache looking at too much stuff on display. I am the opposite of a snooper - I try not to look at stuff and blend it out if I can. The only exception is if someone has organized things really beautifully and I will admire it rather than snoop on it.

I have had a couple of snoopers in my home and when I think about the snoopers in question they are control freaks or like to exert control over others and they just don't understand/care about boundaries.

My mil snoops in my fridge and wardrobe. We don't have much stuff so I guess they are the only interesting places to snoop. She's not secretive about it at all. She will come out of the kitchen with a broccoli in her hand demanding we throw it out because it has a few dry bits for example. She will tell me to "why not wear my xyz dress to lunch" referring to something she's certainly seen in my wardrobe and not on my actual body (probably because it no longer fits)

I had a friend who would just start picking stuff off my shelves or lifting magnets on my fridge to read the notes stuck under them. She'd walk in and just turn over the radio channel if she didn't like the song. I once caught her eating some leftovers off a plate by the sink. So again no clandestine snooping, just no boundaries, which applied to all areas of her life really and got her into a lot of trouble.

Nope, not even a little bit.

Used to look for Christmas presents as a child though, was very good at that!

Oh @amter, I'm sorry that happened to you, it wasn't at all fair for her to shout at you, especially as you did nothing wrong.

@MolkosTeenageAngst thank you for your honesty. What I'm understanding from this thread is that generally people think, if the door or curtains are open and its in plain view, it's fine to look at. With the possible exception of bathroom cabinets?

Nope. Wouldn’t even cross my mind.

No, I don't snoop in cupboards or anything, but I do have a good long squint at any bookshelves. Can be surprisingly enlightening and their choice of reading matter tells you a lot about someone...

Jeez, no. Looking in cupboards and drawers? What on earth do I need to see?

@IThinkButImNotSureIAm

Oh *@amter*, I'm sorry that happened to you, it wasn't at all fair for her to shout at you, especially as you did nothing wrong.

@MolkosTeenageAngst thank you for your honesty. What I'm understanding from this thread is that generally people think, if the door or curtains are open and its in plain view, it's fine to look at. With the possible exception of bathroom cabinets?

I admit reflecting on this thread I can see some people would consider looking into an open room as overstepping so now I think maybe it’s not quite ‘fine’ but it doesn’t feel wrong or an invasion of privacy in the way going through a cupboard/ drawer or even opening a door would and I suppose I justify it because part of me thinks if someone has left the upstairs doors wide open and has invited me upstairs they probably don’t have anything private on show, at least not anything a brief head popped around a door would reveal. I’m certainly not looking for anything secret, in the way people might be if they are rooting in cupboards/ drawers, but just being nosy about decor.

I would also expect people going upstairs in my home to potentially take a look through any open doors and would shut doors appropriately so it doesn’t occur to me I would see anything private, I guess I would be mortified if I did!

I have a job which involves going into other people's houses when they're not there, but I don't snoop because I'm not a nosey person. I wouldn't like someone doing it to me.

I can honestly say no, I do not. But now I'm thinking I need to keep private stuff somewhere else.

I worked in the care sector for 20 years, mainly Community care, so went to hundreds of houses. I can honestly say that I never once looked in anyone's cupboards or stuff, only for things needed like plates, cups, food for the person.

My brother is a nosey fucker. I wouldn't trust him in my house alone.

Only one thing worse than a general nosey fucker is a member of the MCC - the fellowship of medicine cabinet checkers. If you suspect you know one the only answer is ping pong balls in the cabinet.

No, I don’t, and I’d feel very violated if someone did it to me.
I detest nosy people, being snooped upon is so invasive and intrusive.

My sister is terribly nosy. When staying with me once she waltzed into the kitchen and asked “why do you have six deodorants in your cupboard?”, after she had been to the bathroom- note, she went to the en-suite rather than the main bathroom and clearly snooped in the cupboards there. I said that I’d answer that question when she told me why she had looked in the cupboard and she just laughed it off, wasn’t embarrassed to have been caught. She has since suggested that I give her a key to my house “for emergencies”- never gonna happen! She lives a few hours away anyway and wouldn’t be much use in an emergency, but I do not trust her enough to give her unfettered access to my home.

No, I'm careful to respect others' privacy as I would want them to respect mine. I'd feel pretty shabby if I was opening drawers and bathroom cabinets in someone else's house.

What do people expect to find in your cupboards? A map to hidden treasure? I genuinely don't understand what people expect to learn about you - your favoured brand of toothpaste?

I'm really reassured by how many people are like me and wouldn't ever snoop. But the stories of people looking through others wardrobes, and post make me want to invest in some locks!

I have a look at bookshelves in the living room, if there are any. That's it. Anything beyond that is rude, I think.