First World job issues

[Gingernaut]

I left a zero hours bank role in one hospital for an entirely different hospital role in another hospital.

I went from a sedentary clerical to an active technical role.

It did not work out - short, fat, unfit and prone to injury, I have managed to spend six months signed off sick after a knee injury and a complicated recovery.

I scatter gunned my area looking for another hospital role. I have worked for the NHS for over 10 years and I need to think about my pension.

After many interviews, where I was 'just' pipped at the post, I've been offered a full time permanent job and I've accepted it.

Guess where?

The same place I left. Doing exactly the same thing as before I left, only this time as a permanent employee instead of as a bank worker.

I'm only on SSP and I'm skint. I need the job and I can and will do it, but

1. It feels like a comedown. I genuinely thought my current role would be my dream job and I was so excited to go. People were genuinely pleased I was getting out of there and moving on.

1. I am fatter than when I left. I had lost a considerable amount of weight before I left (Size 22 to a Size 16) and during Lockdowns and Covid, have put it all back on again - I am currently the same weight as when I first started to lose weight years ago. I eat when I'm miserable. It's going to be humiliating.

1. Even the commute is some nightmarish blast from the past. Yesterday, I had to visit the hospital to present my documents (interview was held on MS Teams) and a single bus journey took over 90 minutes, due to multiple roadworks - just as it did two years ago.

I mean, fuck me. How many times do the same stretches of road need to be dug up?

Water, Gas, Telecoms, road widening - it's all been done and it's being done all over again.

I felt sick as the bus waited for the STOP/GO boards to turn. AGAIN!!!

It honestly feels like nothing has changed there and that all the things that irritated me about the place the last time will have me chomping at the bit to leave all over again.

The 24/7/365 shift pattern will be irregular, so there's no ability to have a regular activity and I have to find a way to cope before I just melt down again.

I left my shitty job earlier in the year to go to my dream job. Was horribly bullied and then ended right back at my old place but a different branch. Just so glad I didn’t tell my old boss to go fuck herself as I might see her at some point, could have been embarrassing. Feels like a step back too so I sympathise.

I'm sorry to hear that, @BigYellowHat.

Like you. I left in good standing, but it's still shit.

I know I've got to set my face straight and not complain in front of people there, but it's going to be hard going.

I've received my unconditional offer today. I'm dreading it.

I tried to type a 'goodbye' message to my WhatsApp work group, to find I was removed from it this morning.

Fuck me. That stung. A lot.

I've taken to my bed today for a depressed wallow.

I've been grinding my teeth so hard, I've given myself headaches.

I've got the weekend left before going back to the place I used to work.

I know I'm lucky to get a full time, permanent job, but why did it have to be this one?

Ah, OP,

This is taking up far more headspace in your head than it will be in any of your former colleagues.

For many reasons, not least:

1: their world has moved on. Staff will have left, staff will have joined, staff will have changed shift patterns, bosses will have left, their rules will have changed.

2: the pandemic happened to everyone. Some will be fatter, some will be thinner, some will be greyer, some will have new kids, some will have more kids, some notice hair cuts, some have now clue.

3: to you, it's MASSIVE news that you feel you've slid back. To them - you've just come back and they'll be happy someone with some sense is back to help.

Honestly - the bus is shit (sorry for you there ) but the rest will be old news after a week ❤️

Thanks, @EinsteinaGogo, but it was my old boss who hired me.

Nothing has changed, but the contract. I'm now permanent and full time, so I'm not scrabbling for shifts on zero hours.

I know I'm lucky. I know there are people worse off. I know I can start trying to lose weight again, but I'm devastated that the job I thought would be my last was not, I'm leaving the better employer to go back to a worse one and I'm back doing what I thought I'd never see again.

I'm wallowing. I know. The wage will be worth it. If they haven't screwed up my tax code.

I had a similar experience within the NHS 15 years ago; left a bog standard ward based job to go to my dream employer in a department where it was really unusual for someone with my training to work (qualified staff usually come from the adult stream whereas hospital is specialiser in another patient group). I was so excited to be moving and to work at both the place and the department.

3 months in to the role and I’d gained masses of experience and was loving the job and the place I worked but found some staff difficult to work with because they didn’t feel my pathway to the job was the right one because I came to it from a different (but perhaps more appropriate for the patient group) background; had spent time learning more about the patient group during my training and subsequent post than people who had been qualified longer than me; simply because I was younger than them!! Speaking to some of my colleagues it turned out this particular person had a history of issues with people who weren’t from their preferred background and you could find life very uncomfortable if you became the focus of their attention!! By 9 months into the job I was struggling with the toxic nature of the person and their tactics to undermine others, to make others appear incompetent and to bully them out of their jobs.

In the end, after a number of unhappy months, I went back to the previous hospital doing the same job I’d been doing before my dream job but, thankfully with a slight promotion from when I’d been there before. I never got over the sadness that, in my mind, I had failed because I only stuck it out for a year and went backwards by going back to the old, familiar employer and job. However, as a PP mentioned upthread, some of my colleagues were so pleased to have me back because I was someone they didn’t need to train from scratch, who knew the culture of the place and could slot back into the team without a lot of input from themselves that fee even thought about why is come back except I’d ticked that box and moved on. It really helped me change how I viewed the experience and, when I eventually left to change direction completely outside the NHS, I was genuinely missed and I missed the job despite all the little things that annoyed me such as the commute and the location of the hospital.

My issues are reversed.

The job was a nightmare, but the team members were lovely. I mean, truly, miraculously nice.

After the bitching and gossiping in the previous role, this was a revelation.

The employer was also one of the best in the region.

I'm going back to bitchy office politics, a poorly regarded employer and no prospects of promotion.

It's a clerical role, with 24/7 shifts, so the entire team is never around at any one time.

Meetings are missed and information goes round like Chinese Whispers.

First day back.

I officially hate my life.

@Gingernaut

First day back.

I officially hate my life.

I mean, if you go at it with that attitude then its bound to be shit

Two years on and the one, unisex toilet is still unpredictably backing up, the ceiling tiles are still being destroyed by a leaking water tank on the floor above, with Heath Robinson contraptions to catch the water, the decor is still on its last legs, although the carpet had to be replaced from one poo fountain too many, we're in perspex cubicles (Covid), there's little to no inter-departmental communication, we have entire departments uncontactable due to WFH and no hope of any change in the near future.

Our bosses work in another organisation which seems to be taking ours over by stealth, we're quite possibly facing TUPE or redundancy if they decide to formally merge or streamline.

Heat is unpredictable from desert to polar and no amount for twiddling the radiator knobs will sort it out.

Learning is haphazard, there isn't a manual for anything, if something doesn't happen when I'm there, I won't see it happen and learn from it.

It's awful.

@Gingernaut

Two years on and the one, unisex toilet is still unpredictably backing up, the ceiling tiles are still being destroyed by a leaking water tank on the floor above, with Heath Robinson contraptions to catch the water, the decor is still on its last legs, although the carpet had to be replaced from one poo fountain too many, we're in perspex cubicles (Covid), there's little to no inter-departmental communication, we have entire departments uncontactable due to WFH and no hope of any change in the near future.

Our bosses work in another organisation which seems to be taking ours over by stealth, we're quite possibly facing TUPE or redundancy if they decide to formally merge or streamline.

Heat is unpredictable from desert to polar and no amount for twiddling the radiator knobs will sort it out.

Learning is haphazard, there isn't a manual for anything, if something doesn't happen when I'm there, I won't see it happen and learn from it.

It's awful.

Leave then. Apply for other roles. Lifes to short to be this miserable.

It's the only job I've been offered in six months.

I've had Christmas and Boxing Day off as rest days and start four night shifts - 2 on one off and 2 on.

After next week, the shifts get even more bonkers, with streamlining of all shifts to 8 hours.

I'll have to start an early shift at 6am instead of 8am, meaning I have to get up at 4am and leave by 4.45am to get to work on time.

I am so miserable, I'm almost crying at work

I guess all you can do is keep applying for other things. Maybe do a course to help your prospects. Planning ahead helps me keep my mind off my crappy job.

Also when work is terrible I think its important to make home life good - time with friends, good food, occasional treat.

I can't ask for certain hours off even for a part time course, as it's not fair to the other shift workers.

I have to keep bailing on friends because I'm working.

This weekend have been rest days, that means at short notice, I'd have to come in if someone rang in sick. I'm not 'off off', I'm on standby.

OU won't accept my qualifications for credits, as they are too old and the courses are too expensive.

I can't think straight.

You are in a fog of hating your job and focussing on how you are stuck there. Get it out of your system and start planning.

Plenty of on demand courses out there to do when you DO have time off.

@AllKnowingGerbil

You are in a fog of hating your job and focussing on how you are stuck there. Get it out of your system and start planning.

Plenty of on demand courses out there to do when you DO have time off.

And all too expensive if they're worth a damn.

I have a 26 year old HND which prevents me from accessing free or subsidised courses.

I've had my name taken by a member of the public, because I wouldn't put her through to a manager AT ELEVEN O CLOCK AT NIGHT.

What fucking manager is going to be in their office at 11pm on a bank holiday?????

After telling this loon that she should call again during office hours, she told me I was as useless as the rest.

I hate my life
I hate my job
I'm embarrassed to work for a bunch of knobs who won't even answer their mobiles
I can't see a way out.

take a deep breath.
There is a way out.

Can you apply for any old jobs to have a change, then think long term after that?

How reliant are you on the pay? Could you do something entirely different (supermarket??) for a while until you're able to see a longer term plan?

My wi-fi just cut out, so I'm on my phone data.

This is any old job. I am sole breadwinner, so I need the money.

Supermarkets aren't offering full time hours and with my gimp leg and feet, I wouldn't last long.

I can't drive - like literally, can't drive
I've failed to get PIP and failed the appeal
I can't seem to do anything right.

@Gingernaut

I can't drive - like literally, can't drive I've failed to get PIP and failed the appeal I can't seem to do anything right.

Do you have something physically wrong with you that prevents driving?

Could you get an organisation/ charity to help you apply for PIP again?

Are you only allowed to appeal once?

ADHD, dyslexia and some elements of dyspraxia.

I'm done with PIP. I'm too intelligent, apparently.

I can fix myself a meal, walk, take care of my personal hygiene and hold down a job.