I feel like my children deserve better than me .

[jupitermars1345]

I have a 5 year 8 month old DD
And a 4.5 month old DD.

Where do I start.
I found my first baby v v difficult. 0-12 months where probably the hardest time of my life. Swore I was one and done. Never again. Very high needs baby. She got to 3.5 and I started thinking about doing it again. I didn't want to do the baby stage again though but did want another child and we went for it . Had DD2 in June this year. She's 4.5 months now and it's so bloody hard. I don't get a minute to myself from the moment she wakes up all day sometimes. She is a horrendous napper like my first but does good at night time thankfully.
It's all just so hard and relentless and draining and the crying and whining goes through me. I don't know how I got through it the first time. I don't know how ill make it through again. I hate that they can't communicate there needs.
I feel like I've ruined our lives and especially my eldests as I am finding my patience is thin.

I do know it gets better but right now I feel stuck In this stage that I really really do not like or enjoy much

I love them equally but I much prefer being with my five year old which makes me feel pretty rubbish

It's so hard OP, it will be better when the 2nd is older.
I could never stand baby/child whining, it just is like nails down a chalk board.
Funny how when kittens whine it's really cute - kids......no.

Oh it's the worst and she is so damn whingey.
It's the not knowing why to like ' what now ' argh.

I hadn't really realised until I had her just how much easier things had got as dd has got older
We had time to ourselves and I feel like now I'm reminded of how dreadful this bit is

I am not a baby person 😂

I know how you feel cause my boys are 4 and 5 and non verbal so I still am changing nappies both and can't tell me their needs. It's tough. It will pass.

Oh that is so tough :)
Hope you are ok

My house also looks like a pig sty 24/7
I'm actually embarrassed about it 🙈

Thank you for reminding me that I only want one 😁 I felt exactly the same. Hated the newborn bit, things have improved ever since, much prefer my nearly 3 year old who can communicate reasonably well (when he wants).

At least you know it passes. In a few weeks it should be better, in a few months it definitely still be. Do you have earplugs? I found they really helped when the crying was making me anxious.

My sister was one and done, went for a second for her dh and had twins! She was very much 'just suck it up' and do what you need to get through. They are 6m now, crawling and standing, give it another 6m and they'll be walking. Just do what you need to do to weather it.

I feel like I am literally just getting through this stage tbh.
Hate that I'm wishing it away but wow it's the hardest thing I've ever done and this baby is so so much easier than my first . People comment on how much happier she is than my eldest was a baby but it's still so hard.

My DD is 4.5 months.
Pretty immobile still 😂
My first didn't crawl until 12.5 months 🙈

Oh also, the most important bit, Please don't think your kids deserve better! I'm sure you're doing a good job even if you're not loving it! Parenting is much longer than the first couple of months /years, you'll come into your own! You might ace the teenage years and friends who coo over little babies might suck! And at that age the kids will actually remember.

Personally I had my 2nd when my eldest was 2.5 and I really struggled, used to cry, got through it by heading out to playgroups all day and crying at other people! They're 7 and 4.5 now and it's waaaaay better.

The 4/5 month stage is the worst! I nearly lost the plot around then. You have my sympathies.