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Original poster

Struggling to cope with illness diagnosis

12 replies

Mumlife12 · 21/10/2021 20:43

Hi,
I'm struggling and need to reach out and hopefully get a bit of advice. I have two amazing children who I adore and a wonderful husband. I became ill last year and doctors found out I have a underactive thyroid I really struggled till my medication kicked in but since then I do feel better (I couldn't get out of bed to start with) my diagnosis has changed my life as I don't have the energy I once had, get very tired and I also now have arthritis in my hands, neck and back pain so I had to give up my business. I also have had to give up driving as it is too painful. I feel like a useless mum and wife and am ashamed that I can't work (I'm only in my early thirties) I always worked so hard and just can't get my head around not being able to do what I used to - I want my kids to be proud of me. My doctor suggested looking into what benefits I can claim but I don't know where to start and I guess I feel embarrassed. I'm feeling so depressed and just wanted to reach out to some fellow mums. Thank you for listening to me.

OP posts:

ssd · 21/10/2021 20:57

Im sorry this has happened to you. I dont have experience of this but what i would say is i think kids adapt well and they will adjust to how you need to live. I can't imagine they will be any less proud of you than if you hadn't had your diagnosis. You sound lovely and caring. I hope you can still be the warm loving mum you always were, with a few adjustments thrown in for good measure. I'm just sorry you've had to make these adjustments. Life isn't fair. But you are still here and still you and still mum. Sending you positive thoughts and hugs x

ssd · 21/10/2021 20:59

And your husband wont love you any less either. He will want to make it better and will feel bad he cant. Talk to each other and share your worries.

Youreadthebabybooks · 21/10/2021 21:05

You should get your levels checked
I take thyroxine ( don’t have a thyroid) and when my level is right - most of the time I feel pretty much normal definitely enough energy for work and other activities.
The thyroxine should be making you feel ‘normal’ as it just replaces the thyroxine your body isn’t producing.
I’d ask to see an endocrinologist as GPs aren’t always best placed to advise on levels etc

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EarringsandLipstick · 21/10/2021 21:06

I'm sorry to hear this. Have you any other conditions? Are you under the care of an endocrinologist?

I also have an under active thyroid, for many years. With medication, you should be fine. Those symptoms, bar the tiredness, aren't at all typical of hyperthyroidism.

Cameleongirl · 21/10/2021 21:13

@Youreadthebabybooks

You should get your levels checked I take thyroxine ( don’t have a thyroid) and when my level is right - most of the time I feel pretty much normal definitely enough energy for work and other activities. The thyroxine should be making you feel ‘normal’ as it just replaces the thyroxine your body isn’t producing. I’d ask to see an endocrinologist as GPs aren’t always best placed to advise on levels etc

I completely agree with the PP’s advice, you need to get your levels checked again. My thyroid is practically moribund and I’m on 150mg Levothyroxine-but it took a while to find the right dose. I request bloodwork every six month ( I basically ask my GP if I can have my levels checked and she’s always said yes). She’s adjusted my dosage several times over the years, I think I started at 75 mg.

Re. Your children. My Mum had a chronic health condition beginning when I was 3 and I think she was the best Mum ever. Just love them and listen to them, that’s what they really need.

Utini · 21/10/2021 21:14

Do you know what your levels are? TSH and ideally free T4 and free T3? It's quite common for people to be undermedicated, often doctors will give you enough thyroxine to get your TSH within range and no more.

I don't feel well unless my TSH is very low (lower TSH corresponds to higher levels of thyroid hormone). If your TSH is not towards the bottom of the range you could discuss an increase in thyroxine as you still have symptoms.

Some people also find they need a combination of thyroxine and liothyronine (T3) to feel well, although this would generally need to be prescribed by an endocrinologist.

Have you also been assessed for deficiencies such as iron, B12, folate, and vitamin d? All can have an overlap with hypo symptoms and there seem to be a lot of people who are hypothyroid and also have nutrient deficiencies.

I hope you manage to get to the bottom of it, it sounds like you need further investigation.

pusspuss9 · 21/10/2021 21:16

I had an under active thyroid some years ago . I had some of it removed as I felt I had a permanent lump in my throat and am on medication now and have been for many years. I have to have the levels checked every two years and the medication adjusted if necessary.

SilverGlassHare · 21/10/2021 21:20

I just wanted to say that my mum developed terrible arthritis due to Sjoergren’s Syndrome in her 20s, and couldn’t work at all, so I have experience of growing up with a mum with health issues. And my brother and I loved her to distraction - we never cared that her disability made her less active than other mums, she was just our brilliant mum.

I have some health issues linked to a chromosome abnormality too and when I worry about the possible effect of this on my DC, I just think about how we idolised our mum.

ThistlyPerf · 21/10/2021 21:20

I’m so sorry about your diagnosis. Are you under Rheumatology? You shouldn’t have to consign yourself to a life of pain - specific disease modifying medications can help to slow progress of the disease which in turn should help with the fatigue and pain. When I’m having a flare up i’ve noticed I can get a bit down as well, so have learnt to recognise this as part of process ( and that it’s temporary).

You most definitely are not ‘ a useless mum’ - as pp said your children will be just as proud of you regardless.

Mamamia7962 · 21/10/2021 21:37

Agree with others on here re getting your levels checked again. I too have an underactive thyroid which is controlled by medication, and don't have any of the symptoms you are describing.

mrsbyers · 21/10/2021 21:50

I’ve started on thyroxine recently and it has triggered arthritis type pain in my hands especially overnight

Original poster

Mumlife12 · 16/11/2021 16:13

Hi everyone, thank you all for your advice. Sorry it's taken so long to reply. I do have a endocrinologist and am getting help for my arthritis. I have anxiety and have suffered with depression in the past. We have decided that I will quit for good and become a housewife I'm really happy with this decision as work was just too much pressure for me. I will volunteer when my kids get older to have something for me. I'm finally happy. My mum was a housewife and I worshipped her, she was and still is my best friend. Thank you all so much.

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