My friend is the same age as me (both late 40's), and got together with her partner around 30 years ago, (dh & I have also been together 30 years, and recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary). They're not married, it's never been high on their priorities, but she said recently they've been thinking about it, as it would be much simpler if she had the same surname as her partner & kids! They're v happy together, always have been. Btw, I've got no strong views on married/not married couples, there are plenty of other things that are a higher priority than getting married!
She said she's not sure about it, as she wonders if she may feel differently about her partner once she's 'his wife', as if they're together because they 'have to be, rather than want to be'.
She asked if I've ever felt like that and i really haven't! I'm as in love with him now, as I was back then (we've had our ups & downs like any other couple), but I've never felt 'trapped by marriage' as she calls it! We also have 2 children, they're 22 & 19.
We recently had a weekend away celebrating our special anniversary, and she commented how I'm always 'so good', prioritising time with dh. I don't see it as being 'good', we had a lovely weekend, somewhere we've always fancied going, it was a real treat! For dh's birthday earlier in the year we also went away, for a few nights. I remember back then she said 'Just the 2 of you?' And seemed surprised! Yes, it was just the 2 of us, a place we wanted to visit and a show we wanted to see, but we also went out for a meal & drinks with friends when we got back!
We have our own friends, plus mutual ones and our own interests. We're not joined at the hip, so I find my friend's comments about us being 'good' a bit odd tbh! Would anyone else feel like this?