Was this “mean”?

[Suddenlyfamily5]

A good friend of my DS had her birthday today. She wasn’t having a party but DS brought her in a small gift.

By coincidence my DS finished writing his party invitations yesterday and he handed them out today (whole class party).

Friend’s DM messaged me and said it had overshadowed her DD’s birthday and was “mean”.

Just wanted a view on whether she has a point or not? I didn’t think; was just keen to get the invitations handed out before half term! No idea how to respond.

For completeness I should mention that no money issues with friend. She is being taken to Disneyland, Paris for birthday.

"don't be ridiculous "

The issue is with her. She didn't plan her daughter a party and probably regrets it.

I don't think its mean

Its a bit of a tough 1 I don't think it's mean no ,but If I had to think of why she thought it was I'd say it's because the focus would have been on your son's party invitations instead of her child's birthday

Yeah I kinda get it, her kids birthday and no party and your kid rocks on and invited everyone to his party. I can see why the kid is a bit upset. She obvs wanted a party and your kid chose a bad moment. What’s done is done.

I think the mum was over the top to message you but it does seem a bit mean to introduce the topic of someone else's birthday party on the birthday of what is presumably a small child. So yes I think it was a bit.

Huh? If there's about 30 kids in a class it stands to reason that two or three are in the same month.
She's being precious.

Just wait til there are two birthdays planned for the same day or weekend - it will happen.

No, of course it is not mean.
The mother is over-reacting.
Does the girl know that she is going to Disneyland?
I suppose what happened is that the little one wanted a party too. It would be upsetting seeing someone getting a party, but you do not have one if she did not know yet what huge present she is getting. And some kids are greedy, so she may have asked for a party and Disneyland! It is all part of growing up. They have to learn to appreciate what they have and get.

Well I don't think it's mean

I don’t think it’s mean at all. Children at school will have birthdays all the time. The world doesn’t stop because one child has a birthday. It sounds like she is now regretting not doing a party for her child and is taking it out on you.

I think the daughters mum is just feeling bad her DD isn’t having a party, but as you said she’s being taken to Disney land!

Just to ask- we’re the invitations handed out in school? Because that is such a normal thing to do I hardly think it’s mean.
Attention would of fully been on her - ive worked in schools and we usually get the class to sing happy birthday or the kid comes in already with a birthday badge on so I doubt she had all of the attention taken away.

Maybe not the best timing but it’s done now!

Maybe a reply along the lines of
‘I’m sorry it was bad timing, we wanted to get the invites out before half term so I know who’s coming to the party and DS only finished writing them yesterday.

I personally wouldn’t acknowledge the ‘mean’ bit unless you want a confrontation.

I really don't think it's mean

Very OTT of mum to message you
Ideally it would’ve been better to give them out Thursday but hey. Ho no big deal

How self involved of her! I wouldn't reply

Thanks so much for the responses, seems that I could have been more thoughtful. I like Wildmum’s response, so have just messaged other DM. Hopefully that will put it to bed!

How old are they?

The other mum is a bit crackers, but if her DD was upset, I kind of understand. He could have taken them tomorrow or Friday (unless they broke up today, then today is understandable)

It was maybe a little bit though less, but not mean!
You've sent the text now, so hopefully that's the end of it.

I would have ignored the message entirely.