After divorce what name did you use?

[KeepPushingFoward]

Decree Absolute is due imminently and my Ds asked what surname I'll be using after it's come through (I was explaining it's nearly finalised etc and asked how he felt about it all). I haven't given it much thought at all.

I asked Ds what he thought and I got a typical teenage 'not bothered' response.

What did you do? Keep married surname? Go back to Miss? Back to birth name?

I kept my married name until I remarried purely because it was what the kids wanted me to do and it made no difference to me, I was divorced and that was all that mattered.

My mum kept her married name i never felt strongly either way

If dh and I were to part id keep my married name. I like it the best.

What one do you prefer?

I changed mine back to maiden name by deed poll within weeks of finding out exH was cheating.

I kept my married name as I knew it annoyed him.

Unfortunately people often ask if I'm married to him so I just say that person is nothing to do with me,

I went back to my maiden name by deed poll as soon as I could.

Couldn't wait to take my lovely late father's surname rather than cheating ex!

I am not divorced but my mum changed back to her maiden name.

I don't like my maiden name so if I were ever to get divorced (no plans!) I would use my mum's maiden name too.

I reverted to my maiden name. No need for deed poll as it was my own name previously. Nobody has ever questioned it.

Maiden name but I don’t like my parents name where they are abusive but my children have my name. I would tell on mother’s to ensure their children have their maiden name as a surname or a middle name

I dropped the married name before the Absolute came through. Went back to my name. No deed poll required.

Kept my birth name throughout.

But any name I go by is MY name.

I wouldn’t be chopping and changing with every new marriage and giving my kids the idea that they have a permanent name from Dad but Mum changed her name to every new man like a re-branding exercise.

I kept my married name for three reasons:

1 - I still got on really well with Ex-H's parents and the rest of their family,

2 - to save endless paperwork,

3 - because I liked it better than my maiden name.

I kept my married name. It had been my name for 15 years, I'd sort of got used to it.

Mixed bag of thoughts, ty. No clue what I'll do. No one on the scene so definitely not marrying anytime soon.
Hadn't crossed my mind the dc might want me to keep my surname the same as theirs, something to consider.
I don't mind my maiden name. Just had my married name more than half my life, be strange not having it

DA came through this afternoon and I keep welling up, it's so strange. I suggested the separation, it's the right thing for us as a couple. and certainly for me. Got quite toxic towards the end.
Still tinged with sadness though. You don't get married thinking you'll divorce do you.

Back to maiden name. No deed poll , no paperwork, just let the relevant people know.

Be kind to yourself @KeepPushingFoward.

When my DA came through I cried a lot. I felt so sad, and like a failure (which is daft really). I’d instigated the divorce due to his adultery and knew I didn’t want to be married to him any more, but I was still so sad.

The DA is like the end, there’s a finality to it. No one gets married thinking they’ll be divorced, but however it comes about it’s still sad.

Wallow a little, let yourself feel all the emotions then take a deep breath and move on.

Phase Two. ☺️

Ty @Sidge that made me cry, hope you're going great now

I kept my married name as i wanted the same name as my Ds

Ah I’m sorry I made you cry @KeepPushingFoward!

Things will get better and you will be happy again. I’m ten years down the line and life is sweet ☺️

I ended my marriage after an assault. I still grieve for it -7 years later. As you go in hoping for the best and I would have done anything to make it work except it didn't.

I think grieving it is probably a good description @takingonestepatatime
We did work at a time, idk if I should spend the time picking it all apart or leave the scab to heal and move on

I didn't even wait for divorce. Kicked him out and changed back to my original name the next day. I didn't use a deed poll though, I just informed the relevant agencies.

Kept married name. Didn't want to get stopped at customs when I took the dds on holiday

I kept my (married) name as it was.
I then remarried and kept my name, so was the Mrs X divorced from Mr X and remarried to Mr Y.
Mr Y has since died and I am still Mrs X.

If I could go back I wouldn't have changed my name on my 1st marriage - in fact I didn't change it immediately, but did over the next couple of years.

My ex demanded I 'hand back' my married name, so of course I kept it for the full 4 years it took him to drag out the divorce. Kids had unfortunately witnessed some of his tricks so we're not bothered, and I still got called Mrs exh surname at school.

I then changed it to my maiden name on everything except the account he pays CMS into. Petty bitch that I am.

Deed of name change template is free online, just print it off a few times and start letting folk know.

I took my first husband's surname on marriage and kept it on divorce and after remarriage because I'd been using it professionally for 15 years and it was our children's surname, and I preferred it to my birth surname and my second husband's surname.