When can you leave DC alone?

[Petitpenguin]

Random question from a first time mum, but at what age did you / should you start leaving your little one by themselves in a room? (Assuming room is basically child proofed)? My dd is 16 months and I've not done so yet other than popping out for 10 seconds to grab something.

It’s tricky because it depends on the layout of your house - I used to leave DS1 alone downstairs for a few minutes but it was a tiny house and the stairs were in the living room so I could literally pop my head over the banister and check regularly and hear what he was doing. I wouldn’t in our current house with DS2 because it’s bigger and has a proper hallway, you can’t hear everything from upstairs.

@merryhouse

Are play-pens considered cruel again?

Probably

Eldest dc was left alone downstairs (occupied with an iPad) for up to 10 mins at 2.5y otherwise I would never have been able to put my youngest dc down for a nap. Lounge was baby proofed - gate on the door to the kitchen and he was more than capable of coming up the stairs on his own to find me if needed. Until 2.5y he was always attached to me like Velcro, so never alone before then.

It really depends on the individual child as well as your house layout.

Mine was in a travel cot/play pen from 6 months until she decided to climb out of it at about 18 months.

Then it was a case of putting in her in a room giving her toys, books or putting CBeebies on. Then telling her where I was going e.g. to have a shower, to empty the bins and going to do it. She would sometimes call out to me if I wasn't quick enough, or if I was in the shower come to see what I was doing. However she never got up to any mischief if left alone on her own.

A friend's younger kid would get up to mischief if left alone like that at that age. So he had to be watched by someone including his older brother who was a few years older.

incidentally, I did take a newborn to the loo with me (mid-feed...)

I've never not left them for a short time. House vaguely baby proofed for the age and stage

@merryhouse

Are play-pens considered cruel again?

According to both my dc, yes. I did always Lee with the door open though. (Mostly still do now and that are nearly 9 and 12 😆)

Pretty much from the start to go for a pee and things. DD is 2.5 now and I will happily leave her to go upstairs and sort laundry or go out to get the bins in. She's a noisy player so I can hear what she's up to most of the time anyway! But she's generally absorbed in her toys - she's never been interested in causing mayhem particularly I think you just know your own child and what you're comfortable with.

3 was the age at which we removed the gates and DS was able to wander round the house. He could come and go as he wished, and if I left the room he could follow me or fetch me if there was a problem. He just potters around as he likes, I don’t panic as long as he comes back within 20 minutes or so. He often plays in his bedroom while I’m cooking dinner. I go in the shower and leave him in his bedroom. But I probably wouldn’t have left him before the age where he was capable of finding me if he wanted to.

We put a travel cot in our bedroom which enabled me to shower & get ready for work/going out. She would happily play in that …& I may have put CBeebies on a few times (everytime) we also had a baby gate in the living room so I could at least have a wee - embarrassingly I could watch her from the downstairs toilet - door wide open!
I think I must have taken the travel cot down around 2.5/3? So she would stay in my room stay on bed with TV on while I showered and got ready - by then it was a routine so she wouldn’t go any where. Stair gate on living room around 2.5 (I think) when I knew she could manage stairs safely.