I can’t cope with PMT anymore, I don’t know what to do

[PissyMum]

Since having my youngest 5 years ago I’ve had terrible periods - really heavy, crippling pain and terrible PMT. My GP is point blank refusing to investigate further until I have a coil fitted to see if that helps first. I am refusing to consider having coil fitted and so I’m just left to deal with it. He has prescribed me some codeine but I’m a single parent and don’t feel capable of looking after dc if I’ve taken codeine as it makes me feel so spaced out.

This morning my 9yo couldn’t find his glasses. He’s had them for 5 days and they are now completely lost. I got really angry with him and told him that when he comes home from school he’s going to have to find them before he’s allowed on his screens. I know they’re completely gone - I’m pretty sure he dropped them on the walk home from school yesterday. He got really upset and went into school looking really sad.

Now I’m home and I can’t stop crying. I feel like such a shit mum. Everything I do just seems to upset everyone. I used to self harm as a teenager and every month I have a few days where it is an absolute battle not to cut myself. Every second I’m awake I’m just thinking about how much I want to hurt myself and how much I hate myself. Then, when my period starts I feel absolutely fine again and I’m so relieved to be feeling normal that I just don’t think about it until a few weeks later and it all comes back again.

It’s ruining my life. I don’t know what to do as my GP won’t help me and there are no other surgeries that I’m in the catchment area for. My GP and his wife (also a GP) own the surgery so the two other GP’s just look at my notes and won’t do anything because original GP has said he won’t.

What can I do? I’ve asked for a hysterectomy as I’m late 30’s, don’t want anymore children, my partner has had a vasectomy and I am unlikely to be able to carry to term even if I did fall pregnant due to having had a large chunk of my cervix removed due to cervical cancer. But I’ve been refused in case I change my mind .

Any advice?

Are you able to take the pill? I think that's prescribed for difficult periods. They will try to push the merina coil, but it's reasonable to refuse it.

An SSRI can help with the severe pms and supplements can also help to even out moods.

I’ve had microgynon and cerazette (sp?) in the past but they made me feel really queasy all the time. I think my body just really struggles with hormones, they just make me a bit nuts.

I was also given Sertraline for a while after dc1 was born as I suffered from PND and that seemed to help. As my mood is so clearly linked to my period now the doctor won’t consider prescribing it before I’ve tried the coil which I’m absolutely not going to do.

Has your PMT always been this bad?
I wonder if you are perimenopausal?
I think my advice to you would be to try and see a different doctor and explain how this is affecting your life so much.

Id also get some of the herbal supplement Agnus Castus and try taking it every day and see if that helps with your next period cycle. Its known to be a hormone regulator and definitely helped me and a couple of other friends

It’s not pmt, you very clearly have pmdd (as do I). I am prescribed cetirizine for a week- 10 days per month. After initial side effects, it has changed my life and made pmdd bearable- I now only suffer the physical symptoms.

If your doctor is unwilling to diagnose and prescribe, can you change gps? Can you get an online private GP appointment possibly?

Sorry- I missed your bit about the GP situation.

Get as much info as you can in a diary- physical and emotional/mental symptoms.

If you can’t persuade him, tell him you’re going to complain, formally.

This is not acceptable treatment!!

Sorry for the short message but I had this. It was actually PMDD and going on Sertraline has been an actual lifesaver for me. I will never come off it (or will when I go through the menopause).

Like you I had uncontrollable anger for half the month and honestly thought I was a sociopath as I was deranged at points.

I too suffered with PND/A and nothing else worked. I couldn’t take hormonal contraceptives because they just made me worse. So it’s Sertraline daily for me and I’m like a new person (albeit I’ve been on it for many years now)

I should add that obviously Sertraline doesn’t help with the physical symptoms of heavy periods but I can manage that side of things when my MH is stable!

I've got a very similar story, I've always struggled and I genuinely think that my mental health issues have been down to the hormonal changes every month for the most part.
I've tried a lot of different things, SSRIs, other anti depressants, hormonal birth control and nothing has really helped much, I've learned coping mechanisms by default really, after years of damage control after I've been feeling wretched and my behaviour has been crap with PMT.
It has actually started to ease as I approach my mid 40's, I presume as I approach menopause, I take a multi vitamin and just repeat to myself "It'll go soon" ad infinitum until it eases off again.

I'm sorry, it's horrible, the physical and emotional symptoms and when no one's listening it just compounds how you feel. I felt so powerless when the Dr kept saying they couldn't do anything if the pill/ADs didn't work, but I don't think that they should be refusing to offer alternative treatments if you don't want the coil.

That is utterly shocking OP. I would put everything in writing and ask them to refer you to ?? not sure who perhaps someone can advise. A gynaecologist or a menopause consultant perhaps, someone like that? What a horrible way to treat you.

I agree with @DragonMamma.

Plus- it’s not really a mental health condition. It’s endocrine.

I’ve had so many doctors questioning my diagnosis but luckily have a repeat prescription so I can keep on with it.

If it were me, and I had no other GP options (but do try the private online one) I would pretend I had depression and get anti depressants.

I take a low level dose of citalopram.

I didn't for years because I didn't want to take AD when I wasn't depressed and only effected 1-2 weeks of the month.

However, I took AD's for a year after my best friend died and the side effect of that was saying goodbye to PMT.

Through that my marriage improved, my parenting improved, my work and life generally improved.

So now I carry on.

I stopped when pregnant and breastfeeding.

And I will stop when I've gone through the menopause.

But while my hormones rule me and my family, I will take them.

@PissyMum i know exactly how you feel i have pmdd and it has literally taken over my life. Cant recognise myself anymore. The only respite i get is during pregnancy when i am back to my normal self. I feel like jekyll and hyde

I was suffering badly with PMS and hadn’t tolerated the pill I’m the past. Like you I didn’t want the coil so as a last ditch attempt I tried the pill again (progesterone only) and for some reason it’s clicked this time and is really working for me. No periods at all which is excellent

if youre on antidepressants already, can you increase the dose at this time to negate these things?? Someone above says they only take antidepressants at that time of the month. I didnt know you could do that.
Im already on fluoxetine and also HRT but im struggling with progestogen part of the HRT as it gives me PMDD, so im interested to read about possibly temporarily increasing fluoxetine??

Sorry if thats a derail

branleuse sorry, I wasn’t clear. I was on antidepressants years ago but not anymore. GP is refusing any treatment or referral whatsoever unless I have the coil fitted as he’s convinced this is all I need. He’ll give me painkillers in the form of codeine but I don’t like taking it as I don’t feel able to function on it. My reasons for not wanting the coil fitted are that I had the implant put in about 7 years ago (same surgery) and it left me suicidal and suffering from psychosis within 10 days of having it put in. The surgery and local sexual health clinic refused to consider removing it until I’d given it a chance to settle down after 3 months. I eventually managed to get it removed in A&E after I turned up with a Stanley knife and said I’d cut it out myself if no one else would help me (I was suffering from psychosis at the time, I’m not normally quite that dramatic). It was bad enough then when I had my husband to look after the kids and recognise that I had gone a bit loopy but the thought of that happening when I have sole responsibility for my kids is terrifying and not something I’m going to risk.

Tell him you’re now catholic and can’t have the coil.

I’m so annoyed with your GP. I am so very empathetic to how you’re feeling- I’ve been there and it’s awful not being in control and not only suffering yourself, but causing upset to your children. I really feel for you.

I relate to much of what you’re saying. I’m trying to fix it with diet - Evening Primrose, flax seed, salmon etc and it may be my imagination but I do think it’s getting better. Also just going to bed at 8 or 9pm for a few days before And during my period and giving myself permission to cancel engagements, sack off the housework and just take a Bath. I know I’ll get flamed now for saying I don’t understand the seriousness but I think I do and I’m also someone whose mind/body just doesn’t get on well with hormones or prescription drugs.

One of the best things I've done for PMT is to use a period tracker app. I've noticed that simply knowing what stage of the month it is helps me feel less out of control. Before I started tracking them, I'd genuinely feel like I was losing my mind until my period showed up, and then I'd realise it was just hormones - and then the same process would repeat the following month!