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HCPs do I give in to stress / burnout ? How to keep going ?

17 replies

FlowerySusan · 20/10/2021 07:15

I think all HCPs know what’s it like at the moment and heading into winter it feels just impossible to keep going.
I would feel so bad going sick but just not sure I have it I’m me to keep on going.
Any strategies or support to stop the burnout ? Is it possible to come back from it without taking time off ?

OP posts:
FlowerySusan · 20/10/2021 07:57

Have just been thinking that it feels very different than the first lockdown where there was clapping and media appreciation . Now I deal with angry patients and delays and the consequences every day.

OP posts:
LifeAdvice · 20/10/2021 08:02

Hey OP,

I’m going to speak sternly to you now, and we don’t know each other well enough for me to do that, so please get past that and take the spirit of this post in which it is intended - to help you.

If you are in the early stages of burnout, or further along, there is no support or stopping it whilst still working and doing the thing that cussed the burnout. It’s like a diabetic saying how can I stop my diabetes and still eat lots of sugar? Or someone wanting to lose weight without giving up bad food. Or someone wanting to save money, but not willing to stop spending. The two things are linked and you will never recover if you don’t stop.

If you try and do it, it is likely you will make yourself worse. And in 6 months you’ll be posting that you are off work for 6 months plus, you can’t ever go back to your career and need to retrain.

What you need is a break. Book one in. And not a holiday where you go away. A break from life. A chance to rest and recover and nourish yourself back to health.

If you are in the early stages of burnout, some things you can do to get you through to a time when you can take a break are:

  • as you really need to recover all day, but as you are at work, re-traumatizing yourself during the day, it is vital that when you get home you give your self space for recovery. This is different for everyone, maybe a shower to separate the work and home day. A walk outside at a gentle pace, to see nature. If you are really bad and can’t walk, a rest in your room before you join others. Quiet time, let your nerves soothe and recover.
  • being strict with your emotional boundaries. Say no to anything extra - lunch with friends/family, obligations etc
  • buy help. Get a cleaner, order in good meals (or batch cook, or someone else cook or Hello fresh to save shopping etc). Learn to push the easy button on things to give you more time to recover.
  • sleep. So much sleep.
  • water.
  • journal. Another way to get the emotion out of your body.
  • all the other stuff - hot baths, cups of tea, feel good movies with no emotional challenges, reading, all things to slow you down and soothe the nerves.

I think of it like bad sunburn. If you have sunburn, you leave it, put aloe Vera on it. You let the skin recover and calm it. You are gentle, and don’t cover with heavy scratchy fabric etc. You don’t pick up sandpaper and rub it on the sunburn! You certainly don’t go back in the sun! (Work). Think of yourself as needing selfcare and time to heal.

Take it seriously. You can only run from burnout for so long. The longer you put it off, the worse it is when it catches up with you

tatyr · 20/10/2021 08:26

LifeAdvice that's a really good post.

OP it's not "giving in" to stress, it's not a weakness, it's a consequence of your work /the last 18 months.

If you can see the car crash coming, stop driving, get out of the car and sit down in the verge.
As a fellow HCP, you cannot do the job to the best of your ability when you are scarcely holding yourself together, and it's better to step back before you feel like you're messing up.

FlowerySusan · 20/10/2021 08:32

Thank you . That has made me cry is so true .
Will re read later and digest and make some decisions

OP posts:
Guineaguinea · 20/10/2021 10:24

Life advice has it. You need to rest and recover, if you keep going the burnout will be deeper and harder and so much worse. There is no shame in saying actually, I can't do this at the moment and in taking time out to recover.

mbosnz · 20/10/2021 10:49

LifeAdvice speaks sooth. (It made me cry too, you sound lovely, LifeAdvice).

Take care of yourself FlowerySusan, as you would the person you love most in the world. You matter. You are worth it. For you. Not for what you do, but for who you are.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/10/2021 10:53

Take a week's annual leave (or sickness) and go to bed early every night. Keep any demands on yourself low, you are recovering (no spending the time to catch up on housework, diy or whatever).

Tell your supervisor very clearly how you are feeling.

If you are struggling with your mood or thoughts then book to see your GP.

When you have had some recovery time, look to see if there's another role. Some workplaces are far more toxic than others.

HorsesHoundsandHills · 20/10/2021 11:32

I've been there OP. You need to stop now and rest and get some help with this. The longer you push on, the worse the burnout will get, and the longer it will take you to recover. I've added links to the NHS support services for this, please keep reaching out as you have done here.

Burnout is not a mental health condition, it's a system problem, but it can lead to mental health issues if not addressed soon enough. There is no shame in taking the time you need, a big part of resilience is knowing when to stop. You can't pour from an empty cup. It's time to look after yourself now. Flowers

www.practitionerhealth.nhs.uk
www.england.nhs.uk/supporting-our-nhs-people/support-now/staff-mental-health-and-wellbeing-hubs/

FlowerySusan · 20/10/2021 21:12

I know I need a break but thing at work mean I really can’t for a few weeks .
I have a long weekend coming up and plan a break as soon as I can take one.
Have spent the day in tears on and off again and pretending all is ok to my team . Had a row with my partner . It’s really rubbish .

OP posts:
Painismydayjob · 20/10/2021 21:52

Does your trust have a resilience hub you can speak to for advice and support or even an employee assistance scheme?
Taking time off is not a weakness or failing, it’s positive action to allow you to remain in work longer term. You wouldn’t ignore a sprain, you’d apply first aid to minimise its impact, stop doing what was causing it, support it, reduce the demands on it and gradually rehab it back to normal levels. Your mental well-being is the same.
Make sure you take breaks, allow yourself time to sit and relax even if it’s just 5 mins in the car before you drive home, perhaps practice some mindfulness - some good guided practices at soundcloud.com/breathworks-mindfulness Give yourself time to breathe and relax, make sure you do something enjoyable everyday. Talk to people about how you are feeling, or write it down for them if that feels easier. Sending you strength to get through this .

BryanAdamsLeftAnkle · 20/10/2021 22:14

Hi Flowery Susan I'm burnt out too. My mental health took a massive dip and I cut my hours down on my ward to 1 day a week. I got a 2nd contract in a different area and that's helped me massively. I go between 2 different areas and I'm surviving this way.

It's so hard for us just now. The last 18 months have be awful and it's not going to get any easier.

Be kind to yourself, find something you enjoy doing and do it. If you need time off then do it. It's going to get harder over the next few months.

LifeAdvice · 23/10/2021 08:28

@FlowerySusan I really hope you listen to what I said about, and realise this is a long term fix. You are a smart woman, with difficult, demanding job. If this was a matter of having a few early nights or some lavender baths, of course you would have thought of that and done it (you probably already have). The reason you posted here is because your normal recover go-to’s aren’t working (and in your job, I am sure you ready have a stable of them!) and you want to know what the next step is. The big answer is, sadly, bigger periods of time off, big change from you as to enforcing boundaries designed to stop your emotional energy being taken, and a ruthless commitment to self-care every day to ‘fill back up’ what the day has taken from you.

This is achievable, but problem is people who usually get to this stage are not good at prioritising themselves, or at putting boundaries up (that’s how they ended up in a care-giving profession, and how they ended up burnt out!) as so they have to learn a new way of behaving as well, which comes at a time when they are less likely to be able to take on a challenge and keep it.

Once the person has had the break, has then gone back with strong boundaries and the absolute commitment to self care, then you need to look at systemic changes. Can you stay in the role, or does it undermine your attempts to stay mentally healthy and do you need to look for something else?

I know you don’t want to hear any of this right now. You wanted a way to get you through the next few weeks, and I am telling you to change your whole life. But start thinking about it. As if things continue, you will be forced to think about it. And it won’t be a case of waiting for the long weekend to relax, but of collapsing and having to take emergency leave immediately.

In the book ‘Burnout to Balance’ by Harriet Griffey on page 129 and onwards, she had a bit on an ‘emergency plan’ for a weekend. It essentially says to:

  • cancel every plan (every single one)
  • turn off all technology
  • sleep as much as you can
  • eat nourishing and nutritious meals that require no preparation (as you should be doing nothing). Eg avocados, bananas, pre-made vegetable soup
  • obviously no caffeine or stimulants like sugar or chocolate
  • only do exercise that is restorative and calming eg walking, gentle yoga etc
  • try meditating or soothing music
  • no news of upsetting/dramatic tv or books etc
  • loose comfy clothing
  • stay hydrated
  • warm (not hot) baths with lavender etc
  • again - sleep as much as you can

This won’t fix it, but it will start to replenish some of your reserves. But they will be depleted the next day you work again, so you need to set those boundaries strongly, and ideally take more time off to really left yourself recover.

LifeAdvice · 23/10/2021 08:31

I do apologise again for being blunt, but telling you anything else or making you think a weekend fix it all, is not going to help.

I think it is better to know that now, and plan for some leave to then spend recovering, rather than to have something happen (yell at your team, or a patient, or your boss?) and be forced into this situation, knowing it was from burnout, not that you were being inappropriate at work etc

Fallagain · 23/10/2021 09:59

@LifeAdvice

Hey OP,

I’m going to speak sternly to you now, and we don’t know each other well enough for me to do that, so please get past that and take the spirit of this post in which it is intended - to help you.

If you are in the early stages of burnout, or further along, there is no support or stopping it whilst still working and doing the thing that cussed the burnout. It’s like a diabetic saying how can I stop my diabetes and still eat lots of sugar? Or someone wanting to lose weight without giving up bad food. Or someone wanting to save money, but not willing to stop spending. The two things are linked and you will never recover if you don’t stop.

If you try and do it, it is likely you will make yourself worse. And in 6 months you’ll be posting that you are off work for 6 months plus, you can’t ever go back to your career and need to retrain.

What you need is a break. Book one in. And not a holiday where you go away. A break from life. A chance to rest and recover and nourish yourself back to health.

If you are in the early stages of burnout, some things you can do to get you through to a time when you can take a break are:

  • as you really need to recover all day, but as you are at work, re-traumatizing yourself during the day, it is vital that when you get home you give your self space for recovery. This is different for everyone, maybe a shower to separate the work and home day. A walk outside at a gentle pace, to see nature. If you are really bad and can’t walk, a rest in your room before you join others. Quiet time, let your nerves soothe and recover.
  • being strict with your emotional boundaries. Say no to anything extra - lunch with friends/family, obligations etc
  • buy help. Get a cleaner, order in good meals (or batch cook, or someone else cook or Hello fresh to save shopping etc). Learn to push the easy button on things to give you more time to recover.
  • sleep. So much sleep.
  • water.
  • journal. Another way to get the emotion out of your body.
  • all the other stuff - hot baths, cups of tea, feel good movies with no emotional challenges, reading, all things to slow you down and soothe the nerves.

I think of it like bad sunburn. If you have sunburn, you leave it, put aloe Vera on it. You let the skin recover and calm it. You are gentle, and don’t cover with heavy scratchy fabric etc. You don’t pick up sandpaper and rub it on the sunburn! You certainly don’t go back in the sun! (Work). Think of yourself as needing selfcare and time to heal.

Take it seriously. You can only run from burnout for so long. The longer you put it off, the worse it is when it catches up with you

As some with end up with burnout I completely agree with this.
JamieNorthlife · 23/10/2021 10:08

OP, check this site. Im slowly reading through the articles.
healthworkerburnout.com/

good luck

Fluffycloudland77 · 23/10/2021 10:21

I’m guessing you do shifts? I’m a hcp but we’re 8.45 to 4.45 and we don’t burn out.

The systems at fault, we can’t make people do 12hr plus shifts and expect them to cope. That professor who spoke in parliament last week who said drs should have working hours similar to airline pilots was right.

I’d go on sick leave, it’s not worth sacrificing your health for.

FlowerySusan · 25/10/2021 07:59

@LifeAdvice every single word you say is true .
I don’t want to be outing but I am a single parent so don’t have a safety net financially and I need to work but have 2 more years until my ds is 18. That was my plan to keep on going for 2 more years but I am realising that I can’t .
I have just had a weekend of doing nothing and resting and feel better but am still very tearful and the realisation that I can’t carry on is becoming more and more apparat.
Thank you for all the replies it has been really very helpful.
I am going to request counselling through work and reconsider my plan as working like this for the next 2 years is simply not doable.
Thank you again for the advice it does really help. As HCPS we seem hard wired to put others first so self care often doesn’t come naturally .
Yes I have done the baths / meditation / resilience training blah blah but am still working in a broken system.

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