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Original poster

I don't sleep and I live my life in a fog

67 replies

fluffythedragonslayer · 20/10/2021 03:10

I'm awake at 3am again. This pattern every day. I'm in bed by 9.30 because I'm exhausted. I fall asleep and wake about 11pm. I see every hour on the clock. At 2ish I wake and can't get back to sleep. I'm usually awake until 5ish when I drift off until my alarm at 6.30 when I'm up for work.

I'm exhausted, snappy, under productive at work, air feels like treacle and I'm existing in a constant fog.

Doctor has been no help. If I hear "sleep hygiene" one more time I'll throw myself out the window.

Not sure what I want from this thread really it's just 3am and I'm fed up with it all now.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 20/10/2021 06:27

I’ve slept badly for 20 years. I’m 50 now. New job anxiety, babies, peri …. Have all played a part. What makes a massive difference is exercise, particulary outdoors.

Yesthatscorrect · 20/10/2021 06:30

I have allergies so take two of the old style antihistamines every night. If I ever don't take them I'm up and down all night. My sleep is only disturbed other than that if I'm worried about something.

Yesthatscorrect · 20/10/2021 06:32

Also I must have white noise going to block out all noises and wear a sleep mask. Bedroom must be cool and I must have 100 percent cotton pillows as they're cooler.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Sleep
annie335 · 20/10/2021 06:37

Thank you for starting this thread op. I was awake at 2.30 this morning and have been cat napping since. I have no trouble getting off to sleep but then I keep waking up later. It's very draining. I'm 50. I read that pure cherry juice helps but haven't been able to get hold of any yet.
I hope you get sorted.

SpeckyWithTheGoodHair · 20/10/2021 06:37

I woke at 3.00 every morning for three years - blamed it on stuff I was having to deal with with my parents.

Watched that Davina Macall documentary about menopause, rung my doctor and told him I wanted to try HRT.

It worked in two days and I've not woken at 3 since - brain fog gone!

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/10/2021 06:38

I suffered from anxiety insomnia for years due to being a single parent with no money working all hours in the NHS. I was on my knees. I sleep all night now I'm on escitalopram. You won't sleep with snxiety. I also have storm outside log cabin videos on YouTube on in the background. Theow level noise is a comfort. I always take my meds in the morning as they keep you awake if you take them before bed.

KangSaeByeok · 20/10/2021 06:39

I'm exactly the same as you. Get to sleep within seconds awake 2-3ish every night.

The only thing that makes a difference to the fog the next day is whether I go on my phone during that time. I know you know all the 'sleep hygiene' stuff but you need to switch your mindset about that time. Even if you're not sleeping, resting is better than doing something. Your brain will only record when you're awake. If you're resting you may get more sleep than you think. If you're on your phone you won't.

Humanahumana · 20/10/2021 06:48

I’m in a similar boat OP. Wake any time between 3 and 5 and can’t get back to sleep. Then I lie there driving myself mad worrying about everything that is wrong with my life. I’m going to call doctor this morning. I’m 44 and I think it’s perimenopause. I don’t really want to take hormones but equally if there’s a way not to live like this I’d be very pleased.

Flapjak · 20/10/2021 06:57

Do you have any other symtoms? Insomnia and brain fog, loss of concentration have been my worst symptoms of peri menopause? Certainly over 40 it should be considered and they can offer a blood test to check your hormone levels, at 45 they should offer HRT if you have any symptoms ore 45 bliood test is good practice

Original poster
fluffythedragonslayer · 20/10/2021 13:43

So I did an e consult with my doctor online... He's just sent me a PDF called Sleep Hygiene 😂😩 honestly if I didn't laugh I'd cry

OP posts:
Mybalconyiscracking · 20/10/2021 14:00

Sominex is very good occasionally, but I invested in a strong air circulating fan, it is a complete game changer. I was awake because I was too hot.

CommonRoom · 20/10/2021 14:12

Op I really feel for you. I know from personal experience what this is like. It's torture.

I am sorry to say I had the problem for about 5 years and perhaps the menopause didn't help, after that I think it became a habit I couldn't get out of.

I sleep pretty well now and I will share all the things that I think made a difference to me, without mentioning sleep hygiene at all!

-Giving up caffeine completely

  • giving up alcohol
  • getting sunlight as soon as possible as soon as I wake up (sitting in the garden with a cup of dandelion root coffee- really not bad!)
  • sleep mask
  • sleeping in a different room from DH
  • Warm bath with lavender and magnesium
  • St John's Wort in the evenings
  • Walking outside for an hour every day
  • I have not managed to eliminate my phone or laptop from the bedroom but am much better at not reaching for them in the night now
  • HRT. I have not done this but I know several people who say this solved their insomnia

I kind of knew I would have to give coffee and alcohol up for years but kept angrily thinking 'why should I give up my pleasures!" The thing is though, life is a thousand times more pleasurable with a good nights' sleep, so it's really, really worth it.

Good luck!

workwoes123 · 20/10/2021 14:36

Hi OP

Have you tried (religiously) the sleep hygiene ‘rules’ that your Dr has given? I’ve found it too easy to run through the list saying ‘tried that - didn’t work, not able to do that, not willing to do that, hmm that’ll be difficult, etc’ rather than adhering to it consistently and for a long time.

Anxiety, whether menopausal or not, is a sleep killer. Your body is on high alert and just gets stuck there. Then the habits become stronger than whatever was waking you in the first place 🙄. Have you read “why we sleep?” By Matthew Walker? A chronic insomniac friend is reading it and finding, not a cure but lots of explanations at least.

Borderterrierpuppy · 20/10/2021 16:50

Menopause absolutely ruined my sleep, hrt has improved it again.
Google Louise newsone she is a gp with special interest in menopause. Lots of great up to date info. I would also change your gp

SirenSays · 20/10/2021 17:09

It's tough isn't it OP, I've had insomnia since my teen years and the words sleep hygiene really make me see red.

inininsomnia · 20/10/2021 17:15

I'm hanging onto the words of people who say HRT helped. I just sneaked off work apl afternoon to lie sleeplessly in bed, so tired I feel sick. OP, you sound like me and I'm convinced it's peri. I'm seeing a menopause specialist next month.

Kanaloa · 20/10/2021 17:18

I’m the same. Always have been since I can remember and one of my dc is the same. Often come 5am me and ds will be having a cuppa and watching telly.

I find lying in bed thinking 2 more hours till I need to get up. 1 more hour etc just makes it worse so I get up and go down for a drink and read a chapter of something. I always have a book I’ve read lots on the go so I can zone out and read it. I can’t cope with the tv when I’m shattered it gives me a headache.

So no real advice - I’ve tried everything as well and it just doesn’t seem to work for me. The only time I get a fantastic sleep is on my day off work, if the kids are at school, I drop them off and run home and get a brilliant deep sleep for about 3 hours.

Kanaloa · 20/10/2021 17:20

Although one of the sleep hygiene tips I saw online is to ‘avoid worry and stress’ which made me laugh.

As if I’m going to read that, get a sudden revelation, and decide to just stop worrying. Then fall into bed for a wonderful 12 hour snooze now that I’ve decided I shouldn’t bother with worrying anymore.

inininsomnia · 20/10/2021 18:12

@Kanaloa

Although one of the sleep hygiene tips I saw online is to ‘avoid worry and stress’ which made me laugh.

As if I’m going to read that, get a sudden revelation, and decide to just stop worrying. Then fall into bed for a wonderful 12 hour snooze now that I’ve decided I shouldn’t bother with worrying anymore.

I'd be so much less stressed with some proper sodding sleep...
Phyllis321 · 20/10/2021 18:16

Please consider HRT. It’s been an absolute life saver for me.
Phenergan is pretty strong and helped me a bit in the past.

RoseHarper · 20/10/2021 18:25

I'm similar, one thing I've found helps is listening to podcasts but really focusing on what is being said, interview ones are best..takes my mind off what I'm worrying about, and I find I drift off, also Iz try to think of the benefits of resting, rather than sleeping, so lying quietly must have some benefits as opposed to being on a phone, takes the pressure off a bit.

batmanladybird · 20/10/2021 18:38

Me too

episcomama · 20/10/2021 18:41

Have you tried melatonin? Also, as miserable as it might be, have you tried forcing yourself to stay up late until say midnight for a few days until your body clock adjusts a bit?

Original poster
fluffythedragonslayer · 20/10/2021 21:26

Thanks so much for all the replies and I am taking all the advice in board. Going to turn my phone off now and listen to a "sleep story". Will read replies all again properly tomorrow, and my stupid sleep hygiene info leaflet and try and take it all Very Seriously 😑😜 wishing everyone a restful night

OP posts:
roundtable · 20/10/2021 21:33

Are you on the pill op?

I slept terribly and didn't feel myself since having children and being on the pill. Came off and started sleeping again as well as other positives (a few downsides but I'd rather live with them at the moment)

Hope you get sleep Flowers