I hate my boss and I think she knows

[CuckooCuckooClock]

I’ve tried really hard to hide it. I don’t actually hate her but I do dislike her and I don’t think she is particularly good at some aspects of her job. (She’s good at some bits though).
Anyway, this morning she asked for ‘a quick word’ and said I act like I think everything in our department is shit. I don’t think that but I do think some stuff she does /tells us to do is rubbish but I would never say that and I always go as she asks but I’m not massively enthusiastic sometimes. She was clearly upset and i think this comes from her own insecurities but I’m not sure what to do.
I just want a quiet life where I can do my job and go home. She lives and breathes the job and wants me to do the same but I’m not sure I can or want to.
Any ideas how to handle this?
Anyone been in a similar situation?

@FreeBritnee

You either change you attitude or find a new job.

Absolutely this.

@CuckooCuckooClock

I absolutely recognise that she is senior and she makes the decisions and I may well be wrong when I don’t think her ideas are good. I am totally willing to bow down to her authority but I find it hard to get overtly excited about extra work. I suppose there are some parts of the job that I do get really excited about so she sees me throwing myself energetically into some bits but not others and that is what I’m doing wrong. Is that most other people do? Act like every new idea their boss has is amazing? Is it all about stroking egos? Before I had dc I ran a team and wouldn’t have expected blind enthusiasm from them. I actually expected and wanted them to challenge me. I recruited people who could add ideas not just follow mine. Is that so unusual?

As someone who has been in the world of work for 42 years I would say yes you are extremely unusual Most bosses despite what they say want people who think exactly like them and think they are brilliant. When I have politely tried to put an alternative view it has always ended badly for me. Sorry op think you better start looking for a new job.

Totally get what you mean here. There’s a lady at my workplace who doesn’t understand why I might not want to come in and do extra (unpaid) days at the weekend. Thank goodness she isn’t my boss! I do think that the expectation that you will just work extra hours isn’t acceptable from her. But also you might want to do a bit of sucking up.

I’m not in a position to look for a new job so I have to make this one work. Plus from what I’ve read here, it’s no different anywhere else so that wouldn’t solve my problem because I’m the problem!

I think you do need to approach it from the work/life balance and childcare perspective. Ignore her situation- that's what she chooses to do and as you say she is paid more and can afford it, also that's how she chooses to live, not you.

I'd say something like "I've been thinking about what you said the other day about my performance. I'd like to reassure you that I'm very committed to this job and my future at this company. I may come across as unenthusiastic as my dilemma is that for me I need to balance my work with my caring responsibilities. I'm keen to be a part of exciting new developments but it's just not possible for me to stay late on a regular basis without advance notice ( or leave those last 3 words out) . That's why I thought it would be better for me to focus on the tasks that need to be done within standard hours. But if you think I should be focusing on other priorities can we talk about how to do it within my standard hours"
Or something like that.
The important thing is to get your point across without being sidetracked into any conversation about what her childcare arrangements are and what she chooses to do, as it's simply not relevant to you on a more junior grade. As for using the fact that you're female to pile more on and expect more from you, well words fail me on that.

Thanks. I think I need to rehearse a script.