I need a..change

[Monsoon92]

Not even sure what's wrong at the moment. Just need a rant. I've got 2 beautiful girls - toddler and baby. An amazing husband. I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself to enjoy every single second, and feeling guilty when I feel bored or like I want a break. I want to move somewhere that's going to give them the best life, but I don't even know what that looks like! I don't know if I just want a change for the sake of it as we're happy here and I don't know why a new place would make us happier! Please tell me other people feel this way sometimes?

I want to go NC with my parents (dad is/was abusive) but am struggling with guilt about not letting my children get to know my/their family. We've also just had a fallout with DH's sister - abuse in the past. So it feels like in the last couple of months our family has gone from a big, normal one to just DH's parents. I feel sad that we won't have the big family Christmases or bbqs. I don't have many friends, but am working on this. I just feel like I'm quite fussy about people and take time to warm up to them!

I have diastasis recti, and had a c section 5 months ago. I still look very pregnant. I'm too small for my maternity clothes, but can't fit into normal clothes because I'm a weird shape. I bought a load of cheap Shein clothes for a bit of a change but they look awful and cheap and have just made me feel worse. I have curly hair and can't quite figure out how to style it, and makeup slides off my face as soon as I leave the house. Talking of the house, it's a mess. Cleaning constantly, but I feel like it always smells bad or there's stuff under my feet. My washing machine has just broken

I don't know why I'm posting this or what I want to hear, but I think I want a fresh start. I've started Mutu, so I'm hopeful about my belly going down. I've set a clothes budget for next year to refresh my wardrobe. I'm having CBT to deal with OCD/anxiety. We're doing the house up VERY slowly, so that's exciting. No idea about what to do about my parents or moving to a new place. I guess I'm asking..does anyone else ever feel like this, and what sort of things help lift you up?

Thanks if you read all of that!

Just me then

Yup, me too.

One thing for certain is that you are definitely not alone. I think trying to take each day at a time is key here. You have loads going on but looking at it all in one heap will only make you feel super anxious.

Try to break things down in manageable chunks.

You've not long had a baby so you have lots going on health & hormone-wise so try to cut yourself a break and remember to be kind to yourself.

Thanks @Utterlyexhausted, good username! I guess I just always want everything to be perfect and need to realise it won't be and that's fine! I've downloaded a habit builder app so can begin to work on things one at a time and focus on what's important.