Help with socialising at the school gates

[Emilyplays84]

LO started nursery at primary school in Sep. I feel like I'm letting my LO down a bit because there's nobody that I'm very friendly with. I see other parents who have their little groups and their kids play with each other outside of school. I've chatted to a few different mums but just small talk. A lot of parents know each other from older kids or coming from the same nursery. I'm starting to dread the school run a bit. Any tips on school gate socialising? What do people talk about everyday?!

Is there a playground near the nursery? I found that if I wandered over there after pick up there were usually other nursery kids hanging around and then it was easier to strike up a conversation by saying something like ‘Gosh, isn’t your kid good at climbing’.

Coo at babies and ah at ddogs. Foolproof ime...

Sorry I can't be help can sympathise.

It has been like this for me throughout school nursery and now into primary school. The parents here are all cousins or went to school with each other etc. I have managed to speak to the odd one but just small talk nothing major. I feel shit every drop off and pick up that I do because I'm on my own and my kids can't understand why all the other kids hang about with each other or go places with each other every weekend.

Sorry again thats no help but you are not alone.

I don’t think I make anything more that small talk in my 10 years of school pick ups!

I literally have never made a friend at school run. I wasn’t even doing them for the first five years of primary. I know the parents of her closest friends through play dates and birthday parties but that’s it. You’re not letting her down if that’s what is stressing you out.

Do you want to make friends or are you just worried about letting your child down? If it's the latter then don't worry, my DS is in Year 4 and I'm not friends with any of the parents, he still has friends and gets party invites.

Just ask DC who they like in their class and invite those children over for tea and playdate after school. Check with parents what the children eat. tell they are welcome ot drop off or come in for a cup of tea, whichever is easier. Do this a few times without keeping score of invites back. (I used to notice that we did way more inviting but then realised I didn't care so long as my DC were having fun with their friends.) Gradually you might get to know some of the parents, at least enough for DC to be invited back which is what matters. Because your own close friendships will be on your own terms, not necessarily with the parents of DCs friends.

You could always try joining the PTA as well if you have time.