New York with a 1 year old?

[newmum0604]

Friends of ours are getting married in New York in May, our baby will be 14 months old. DH is definitely going but I'm torn. I absolutely don't want to leave her behind even if we get childcare (especially not in covid times, potential risk of getting stuck there away from her longer than a few days)

So either all three of us go or me and baby stay behind. Would it be a terrible idea to take her? Will a 7 hour flight be a nightmare with a toddler? Will the jet lag ruin the few (thinking roughly 5) days we'll have there?

Neither of us have been before, I don't want to miss out but also would rather stay behind if it's not going to be worth it!

We had same at approximately the same age. DH went and I and baby stayed behind. The baby wasn't invited to the wedding and I was fucked if I was spending a pile of money to drag us both over the atlantic and deal with the jetlag for the sake of a long weekend.

I absolutely would not go to New York with a one year old. They are so set in their routines at that age it would be absolutely no fun at all for anyone.

Send your husband and if he likes it go as a family when dc is much older

Thank you both, even if its not what I wanted to hear!

Anyone else?

I mean, you can do what you like obviously. But the baby isn't going to appreciate New York, and you may not appreciate New York quite as much with a grumpy, jetlagged baby whose routine is all off in tow, and weddings of old friends you haven't seen in a long time is likely to absorb most if not all of your DH's time there and be quite excluding to you. I don't really see a lot of upside to you and baby going. And like you, I never considered leaving my DC behind - they were in any case still breastfed at that age so it was a nonstarter.

Unless you are really really desperate to attend the wedding I wouldn't.

Nope.

Tired, grouchy toddler and buggy on public transport would not be great fun. New York is an amazing city to visit for adults, and older kids, but a 5 day, 5-hour-jet-lag, 8+ hour flight city break with a grizzly kid is not going to be worth it in my mind.

Save up, go all together when dc is much older and can appreciate it.

Also, accommodation for 5 days plus flights is going to be very expensive even just for dh, is he really that desperate to go to a wedding?

We have done this recently and it was brilliant

DD is quite mild mannered anyway so I’m sure that helped, but she loved the flight, had a great time with the cabin crew etc, slept a massive lot of it and was ok to get to nap the next day.

We did have a few night time wake ups but she settled far better than I thought.

This was to miami which is similar time zone to NY (I think) but longer flight

100% would not go.

I love NY and I love my 19 month old but frankly I’d have paid the cost of that holiday just to not have to take him!!!

I think it depends on the child. Dd has always been quite flexible with her sleeping and so I reckon we could have managed it if it was a wedding we really wanted to go to. If your child needs a set routine then I'd be less keen.

I’d go. We took DD1 to the US (Washington DC and Austin) when she was 4months, again when she was 16m (NYC and Austin) and again when she was 2.5yrs (Philadelphia, NYC, and Austin) with DS 7m in tow.
We had a brilliant time on all 3 trips, children adjusted really well to the time difference and both slept well on the flights, I think the white noise helped. Tricky first day back as they’d slept on the plane and we’re bright-eyed, and we were jet-lagged and exhausted, but we managed by each taking a quick cat nap in turn, and pushing on through to bedtime.
We’ve found the first few years, when they are easily portable, to be the easiest travel-wise, tbh.
There is an amazing park in Brooklyn down by the pier, we had a fantastic day there in the water-play section.

If it was possible I’d tag it in to a longer holiday so you’re in the US time zone already pre New York. It’d make your wedding / stay much easier. I wouldn’t worry so much about the flight etc, just how presentable I’d be at a wedding with a groggy toddler in tow 🤣

We did (albeit for a longer trip) with an 18 month old and I'd just want to flag to you that getting around NYC with a baby is HARD - much worse than London. Traffic and parking are basically impossible, but there is NO disabled access on the subway and it's hellish getting a pushchair on and off. In fact just before we went a mum had died due to falling on the stairs carrying a pushchair single-handed in NYC - I gather that's not all that unusual either out there :( The other thing was a massive lack of baby change facilities in public bathrooms - I honestly don't know how NY mums do it at all! It felt almost impossible at times.
So the flight isn't the half of it, basically.

I absolutely love New York and I got married there myself (with no guests, though!) but I would hate to traipse around with a baby. There is so much to see and do but it can be really hectic and crowded, I find it stressful just getting our luggage from the train station to the hotel, never mind pushing a buggy the whole time.

I used to live in the US and flew transatlantic with mine regularly at that age and she always handled the flight like a pro and we never had issues with jet lag. I would say though that at that age they really do need their own seat for everyone to be comfortable though and that costs $$$. Also we visited NY a few times when mine was 1-2 and it’s was ok but we had quite low expectations as our trips were mostly to see family and we’ve both done the touristy stuff before. In all honesty it’s probably the least child friendly place I’ve ever been.

If it were me I’d either go without baby or not at all.

I live in NY with a 2 year old DS . Happy to chat if you do decide to bring your 14 month old. It is possible - you just need to be realistic.

However, I think the jet lag and having to do 2 naps a day would be a nightmare unless your DC is the kind of toddler who naps well on the go.

Also, do you live in a city? I've seen some suburban/rural toddlers be completely unable to cope with the sensory overload of NYC. One relative brought her 14 month old in from the burbs and he had an absolute meltdown every time he heard a police/fire/ambulance siren. Just something to keep in mind.

I think it depends on the baby's temperament/ability to cope with changes to their routine, and how much you want to go. At that age it will be seriously hard work, but I feel like it could be possible. Depends if you feel like it's worth the cost/exhaustion.

#alwaystakethetrip

Travelled a lot long haul when my kids were young - I don't regret a single trip. And NYC is the best city in the world (imo)

Absolutely go!

I travelled the world with ds when he was young, no problem. Would’ve gone in a heart beat.

My now 14 month old dd? Fuck that She’s a VERY different child to ds, the flight alone would be a living hell.

It would totally depend on the child really.

I honestly wouldn’t go that distance/expense for a wedding though, even it was family. They must be very good friends.

I get that covid makes it complicated but if I had the chance I'd 100% go and leave the baby with my mother!!!!

We went with a one year old and it was a while ago but I genuinely don't remember it being a nightmare. We were there for about a week I think. We used a sling so I just did that, and so no issue with the subway etc. She wasn't a hugely routine-bound baby so no doubt that helped, but she wasn't a problem. Obviously having a one year old full stop makes it a different trip to one without one!

I've been to New York many many times (close friend is from there) and it really isn't the place for a 1 year old. Far too busy, polluted etc. I mean you could go to Central Park etc but what with jet lag etc I really would not do it.

I live in NYC and did some trips with small children when we were planning the move. I think it depends what you want to get out of the trip. You can do a lot of fun things but you'll need to plan a lot more down time than if you were going on your own. So you might not think it's worth it for a first trip to NYC.

I would probably go, ime toddlers have a great time here. They would like the Statue of Liberty ferry, probably enjoy the view from the Rockefeller tower, there are lots of great playgrounds in Central Park and along the river, especially downtown on the west side. There are several children's museums that have fun activities for that age group, www.cmany.org for example. Central Park zoo. A lot of this is stuff you could do at home but for me it would still feel worthwhile. You will be getting up early because of the jet lag but early morning is the best time to do a lot of the NY tourist things because they're less busy then, so not the end of the world.

There are several subway stations that do have lifts but they are not all accessible for pushchairs, so do check your planned journey in advance.

I think it's a difficult age. Not a newborn, which tend to sleep a lot, aren't mobile and can be easily carried around. But not old enough to really get that much enjoyment from a holiday or a new place. Too little for most touristy stuff and experiences.

DD is 2.5 and I think now she would get something out of a trip like that, and DH and I would have probably enjoyed it when she was 0-6 months, but the interim period, I'm not so sure.