Anyone gone from nervous to confident driver?

[Thepurpleturtle]

I’m fed up of making excuses for not doing stuff because I’m too scared to drive to new places / the motorway. The last thing was I didn’t go to a friend’s 40th because it involved the M25 . As DC grows up I don’t want this to hold her back.

I’ve done motorways / new routes before, but massively lost my confidence after having a baby made my anxiety shoot up, then lockdown didn’t help. It’s now been a few years since I’ve done more than local driving.

I’m going to replace my small old car with something that will give me more confidence and get driving lessons. I had a few motorway driving lessons early 2020 but then lockdown happened and now I’m back to square one. That instructor said he couldn’t see an issue with my driving.

Has anyone gone from nervous to actually being a confident driver, as opposed to just tolerating it?

Me! Used to refuse to drive anywhere involving motorways. I had CBT which helped. Also spent so much time as a passenger with DH who is a very confident driver, I began to mimick him I think. Realised I was catastrophising, as am actually a good sensible driver. Drive all over country now! Sat nav helps too. Good luck! Remember you can do this and the fear is more like intrusive thoughts/your mind worrying over something that has not happened yet.

Having a few lessons is a good idea.

I went from nervous to confident by having to drive 2 hrs every day. I had to drive to get to my first nursing job, and I could afford not to take the job. It was horrible for a bit but exposure really helps you get over something

Yes me, just practice, it's the only way to do it

Me. All I did was change my mindset and attitude. I had 2 nasty accidents which really dented my confidence. Then it suddenly hit me one day I've as much right to be on the road as everyone else. So I started driving more confidently and assertively. I'm not saying it's that easy for everyone, just that that's my own experience.

Me! Exdh used to do all the driving. I was v anxious and would never drive anywhere unfamiliar or distances. Four things happened: divorced dh, got a new job, my mum was dying and my new partner was working away. So I just had to drive. Oh, also my car died and I bought a new one all on my own which had a great SatNav. SatNav has changed my life and I couldn't do the driving I now do without it. I now regret the 10+ years of just doing small familiar drives.

Me - I used to need my DH in the car with me when I drove. Then he had to work away for a bit so I had no choice but to drive by myself. I was terrified, but soon got used to familiar routes. Then I could go further and over the years, from pushing my comfort zone, I am a shit hot confident driver. Just take your time and build up gradually.

Yes I had a complete phobia. Couldn’t even get behind the wheel without sweating and shaking. Happy to drive anywhere though I do have some sticking points but working on it. Have driven 180 miles home on the motorway with no probs. It’s just practice and keep going. Get a good day nav and go out every day and just go further and further. You’ll get there.

Unfamiliar or new things like motorways, even if I know my way I will use Waze. Tend to stay in the left lane, may overtake a slow lorry etc but that’s it. Waze boost my confidence with pointing out speed, traffic, stopped cars and police etc. try short motorway journeys first? 1/2 junctions?

Me, only by driving for work to lost of different places and having just to suck it up.

I definitely would recommend a new car if funds allow it. Getting something I bit nippier - not hugely, a new Corsa rather than the old Focus that I had - was the turning point for me. Gave me much more confidence, and was so much nicer to drive so I actually started enjoying driving!

I still don't like motorway driving, I've done it a couple of times when I didn't have a lot of choice but it's def not my favourite. TBH I don't have a real reason to need to use it, we have a good network of A roads surrounding us. It just would be good to get more confident with them

Practice, practice , practice. I first drove on a motorway because I was in agony with a tooth abscess and the motorway was a quicker drive home than my normal route which involved loads of traffic lights. I’ve also twice had lessons after passing my test - motorway practice and to learn how to drive an automatic. I would recommend having a one-off lesson at a quiet time to conquer your anxiety about whatever the challenge is.

Thanks all!

Yes I’m fortunate that funds do allow a new car. My current car is a small car (think Fiesta/Polo/Clio type thing) and over 10 years old. I’m not after anything flash, just something that will give me a bit more confidence.

Following with interest as this is me too.
Recently watched Anna Mathur’s sofa session on driving anxiety which was very helpful.

I used to be really nervous and would avoid certain routes and driving in dark or wet conditions. I would never go further than a few miles either. I then moved jobs so had no choice but to drive further. I’m fine now in most situations. Practice is everything and as @Shitzngiggles said changing your mindset to one that you have as much right to be on the road as others and you are a competent driver.

Me, but it's taken a good number of years. I was always a very happy passenger but disliked driving - and didn't drive on a regular basis. What changed for me was having to drive myself to work (when XH got a job in the opposite direction), and then plucking up the courage to drive myself to regional office, then to head office (which involved a quieter motorway). So it was a slow, steady, constant development of my driving capability to where I am now, the regular driver of the household.

I was so anxious for years. It started when I was on a part of the road where I really couldn’t stop and suddenly felt very ill, and I shied away from driving for a long time. I considered extra lessons to get my confidence back, but in the end I found setting myself little challenges helped me much more.

Pick a destination and make yourself drive to it, start small. I started with my husband in the car with me, but I don’t think he really knew how nervy I was. The feeling once I managed the first long drive (1hr+, lots on the motorway) was great - I felt so confident, and I just kept at it.

Also remember, if you have to pull over then you can. But you probably won’t have to! I genuinely now love long journeys, even better if I’m on my own and can pop on a podcast and enjoy the peace!

Me! I got offered a job that involved driving every day and slowly got used to it. When I first passed my test I was terrified of going anywhere on my own. I knew I was a capable driver but used to panic if I didn’t know where I was going/where to park etc.

I also got a new car with a bigger engine and found that helped as I knew I had the ability to accelerate to match the traffic when joining a motorway.

Yes me.

I refused to drive on the motorway for years and would get two buses to work rather than drive.

I got knocked over on the bus while heavily pregnant and ended up in hospital on a monitor for three days (great start to Mat leave) and vowed that I would start driving. When I went back to work I just took off and did it and haven't looked back.

For me it was just breaking through that wall of fear.

Me! I hadn’t driven for a while, relied on public transport & my (very tolerant) partner and parents giving me lifts, was very anxious about it due to an accident (not my fault) not long after I passed my test. We moved further away from work and my parents (what was a 15 min drive was now 35 mins & a 30 minute public transport trip turned into 1,5hrs). I figured I needed to sort it rather than waste tons of time on trains or be reliant on lifts.

Did 5 motorway lessons including a bit of general local driving - country lanes, hills, higher speeds etc. Tutor said there was no need for any more lessons, I decided to bite the bullet and get myself a car immediately so I didn’t lose momentum. Got a 3yr old corsa and have never looked back 😊

Was slowed down a bit by lockdown, but in august I drove down to London and back by myself (200+miles each way) and really enjoyed myself! I’ve definitely got my confidence and love of driving back!!

Yes! Took me three goes to pass my test (two attempts, left it, went back as an older learner). I had to build up gradually to doing things I wasn't comfortable with either by choosing to go and try when I felt like it, and later by things that I really wanted to go to necessitating driving new routes. The more you do without having a disaster the more confident you get in yourself. Having a car you've got faith in really helps too.

Put it this way, I've gone from nervous nelly to driving a big 4x4 and passing my towing test (it's a full driving test as well as the trailer bits) first time, happily towing and driving all over the country now. If I think back to how I was when I was 18, or even after I'd actually passed my test, I never in a million years would have thought I'd drive to places that I do now never mind with a trailer on the back too.

Don't let anyone pressure you and don't carry passengers that make you stressed unless you're driving a route you're happy with. Go to places when you feel like it, build up gradually. If you have a stressful drive somewhere do a couple of nice ones but don't leave it too long before you do the one that stressed you out again if you will need to otherwise it will become a 'big thing'.

Thanks everyone- great to hear some positive stories

Following as I'm such a nervous driver I can't even pass! Interesting to know you can overcome the anxiety 😥