McMillan

[TheCatsBlanket]

I'm hoping for some advice. I don't get on with my sister at all, but have been told by her hairdresser (who is my good friend) that she has had a letter from McMillan because she's got a huge ovarian cyst which has been drained twice so far this year - my sister has refused to have it surgically removed hence the draining. 9 litres of fluid has been removed each time.
If someone has had a letter from McMillan where they've said they'll be in touch with her, does this mean that it's cancerous. Why would they write to her if it's not?

She has lost a huge amount of weight over the last 12 months, has a dreadful grey complexion, dark circles under her eyes, and according to her hairdresser, is losing clumps of hair. I believe that it is cancer and she is denying the diagnosis.

Would McMillan keep this quiet or would they attempt to make contact with her next of kin, which is her daughter who also has barely any contact with her.

As much as I don't like her, if it is cancer there will come a time when she will surely have to be admitted in to a hospice, and in a way I wish she would come clean about it so perhaps we can chat and decide what's best.

She has no friends that I can ask. If I were to even try and discuss the letter, which was seen accidentally by the hairdresser, I would without question be told to f*ck off.

My question is, would McMillan be in touch if not cancer?

I'm a cancer specialist nurse sponsored by Macmillan so I use that in my job title. I would imagine that she's been contacted by someone similar to try and engage her with services. Unfortunately, I would think that her symptoms could be related to cancer.
Can you (do you want to) reach out to her? Did she ask/know that your hairdresser would tell you? She might be angry if she's told her in confidence.

Sorry, just realised that you've addressed the contact bit! Any next of kin can't be contacted unless she has given her consent. Although she is seeming to be making 'bad choices', she has a right to do so unless she lacks mental capacity.

Thanks for answering, Madamy. My sister, who although deemed able to live alone, did suffer some minor brain damage 30 years ago, and now suffers mostly from short term memory loss, but as I say, lives alone with no care. When the hairdresser was at sisters house, she was trying to prove to h/dresser that she'd received a letter from the hospital saying they will not force her to have surgery, but will drain the cyst when it re-fills. My sister began reading 'the' letter out loud, but had accidentally picked up the one from MacMillan and began to quote that one and only when she was part way through, realised it was the other letter she'd meant to read out, and she quickly put the Macmillan one down.

She wouldn't have wanted hairdresser to tell anyone, and if I were to say "I know you've had a Macmillan nurse contact you" she would be furious.

Hairdresser only told me because she is one of my best friends, and is worried that my sister is terribly ill.
I don't particularly want to contact my sister and try to forge a relationship, but I feel if she has been diagnosed it will become apparent in the not too distant future.
I suppose what I'm trying to find out is, has she been told but is blocking it out and denying it in the hope it will go away.

There's no way after years of minimal contact she would tell me, even if I were to try and gain her trust. I expect I will at some point find out for certain when things get worse.