Is monogamy passé for my generation?

[StrawberryPi]

I am in my late 20s, happily settled down with my DP for several years. I live in London. Since we have started socialising again as things have opened up after lockdowns etc, I have been struck by how many people my age seem to be on open/non-monogamous relationships.

In the last couple of weeks I have been propositioned at social occasions (not in a threatening/scary way, in an "it's the end of the night, we've had some drinks, would you be up for it?" kind of way) by three people - two of these I knew were in open relationships, one I thought was happily married but when I questioned said that their marriage was open. This is not a stealth boast - I'm not a great beauty or hugely sexy, just average looking, normally dressed etc, so I can only assume this is common place.

I declined all the offers, I am very happy and fulfilled by DP and have desire to explore anything with anyone else, but it did make me feel a bit old fashioned, closed minded and boring, and that playing away was now considered de rigueur! People of my generation: have you found the same, are more and more people exploring open relationships and am I a stick in the mud for not wanting to?

Ewwwww never! And I'm sure my DH would say the same

It's totally a personal choice. Just make sure your partner feels the same, otherwise it may turn into an unhappy marriage....

Nobody that I know is in an open relationship - that I'm aware of.

I'm mid-20s and lots of my friends are a few years older.

Actually, I know of one couple.

I don't know what the point is being in a relationship if you're not committed to that person. It seems strange to me.

By the way, I'm not saying I want this, like I say my DP and I are very happy and satisfied together and I have to desire to venture away from that! I was just slightly shocked that it seems to be so common and wondering if others had observed the same.

I think there's less stigma surrounding many sexual practices that being one of them. I'd say it's not that this generation is swinging on chandeliers with whoever will have them, it's more that there's no shame in saying what you're in to. There's apps for all sorts of things and people can pretty much cut to the chase without having to have strenuous conversations with would-be suitors.

You’re just socialising with the wrong kind of people

I know of one couple in their mid 40s to early 50s where she occasionally has another same sex partner who she brings into their home. He occasionally gets involved but I don’t know if their openness extends to him getting involved with anyone else (they are very open about it on social media) but nobody else.

I suspect I don’t move in those sorts of circles.

I dont agree. People who have different lifestyles can hold a good mirror for you. Its healthy to stay in touch with people that are different from you. It is also healthy to have enough contacts that share the same values as you do. Difference is richess.

Monogamy isnt necessarily passe, but romantic relations and gender roles still tend to be quite old fashioned and unconsciously steered by religious or cultural biases. Monogamy in my opinion however is overrated, loyalty/integrity is not. The two are different things but often confused with each other. Also people often dont have a full understanding of their own behaviour, which is greatly influenced by our biological make up. Furthermore, im a fan of community- oriented relations (more then 2 people) then having a, sometimes, suffocating relation with 1 single person. Our society has become too individualistic and oriented towards an false/idealised view on relationships. Watch how indigenous people/animals manage relationships. Much more down to earth, respectful for each other AND the environment (yes - that too).