I'm so exhausted.

[yellowDahlia]

I'm so done today.

School holidays seem to have become a trial of figuring out what the hell to do every day (mostly to keep DH happy - I reckon DDs and I would be quite happy pottering about/relaxing most of the time) and constant questions, decisions... plus the lack of routine is killing me. I haven't had any decent alone time for weeks and I'm so irritable with everyone, but especially DH who is driving me up the wall.

Winter term begins tomorrow which is a relief to get back to some kind of routine, but we're heading towards Christmas now and I'm worried it's going to be a hard one this year - first one since FIL died last January, plus it will be MIL's 70th birthday and then the anniversary a few weeks later. There will be all the usual present/food prep to deal with, and I'm now working out my notice for my current job to start a new one the week before Christmas.

I just don't know if I've got the energy for it tbh. I feel totally drained today, really burned out. Just want to run away somewhere and be alone and silent for a week. I don't know why I'm posting, other than to put this somewhere. I don't want to talk about it IRL, have very few people to confide in - I just need to get it out of my head.

I really feel for you op . You need a break plain and simple. It's ok to admit this. I felt exactly the same way at the end of the summer holidays and I went away for 8 days on my own. I know this isn't possible for everyone and I am very privileged that I could do this. Having said that, as adult women, we don't need "permission" and me and my family are all doing better since I had a break.

If you leave for a break - even a long weekend - your DH will have to cope.

Surely your dh can decide what he would like to do each day if he is that easily bored? Why should it be added to you work and mental load? Just chill out the kids, if that's what they want.
It does sound as if you do need some time alone though. You sound all touched out, but by company, not like when your babies are small and you have something constantly at you. Are you able to get out each say even just for a walk alone?

I run regularly and walk alone too whenever I can - I know I need it to stay sane. But it feels like it's barely enough at the moment. I can't imagine 8 days away - I don't think it would be possible for many reasons, I really don't think DH would get his brain around that at all!

I used to be able to travel for work 2-3 times a year and that was always enjoyable and felt quite liberating, a short trip like that would keep me going for a while. But of course it's not happening right now. I'm hopeful the new job will allow me some travel eventually if not straight away. I honestly think I need it. I love my family but I want to miss them, IYKWIM!

Why is your dh around? Does he wfh?

@Comedycook

Why is your dh around? Does he wfh?

He's a teacher, it's school holidays (we're in Scotland so have just had 2 weeks break).

Well I definitely understand. My dh has been wfh and I find school holidays much easier when he's out of the house and not under my feet all day! I also hate not having any alone time. Get him to take the kids out for a day and give you some peace