Potty training and nursery help.

[SickAndTiredAgain]

We started trying to potty train DD (28 months) yesterday and haven’t had any success at all. Not a drop of wee has touched the potty. She’ll happily go to it, take her knickers off, sit down, get up, pull her knickers up and walk away pretty frequently without us even suggesting it. But she just wees after she gets up. She doesn’t like to stay sitting on the potty for too long, but even when she has there’s been no wee.
I wasn’t expecting instant success at all, but what I somehow hadn’t really considered is nursery. She goes full time, and they were the ones who suggested potty training, so if we’d had some success, I’d have sent her in without nappies. But we haven’t. But it seems silly to go to back nappies after just two days, won’t we end up trying every weekend and then just putting her in nappies for the week?
How much progress would you expect to make over a weekend before you sent them to nursery in knickers, as opposed to nappies? I mean, DH takes her to nursery in the pram and it’s about a 15 min walk. At this stage I think it would just be pure luck whether she made it to the nursery door still dry.

I like the oh crap method of no pants and watching like a hawk and rush to the potty when signs happen. But if you have nursery saying she is ready and no holiday to give it more than 2 days then I'd suggest asking your nursery the approach they do so you can keep it consistent home and nursery.

I'm a childminder and it's really helpful for parents to take a minimum of a long weekend (ideally a week of annual leave though) to spend time getting it started and I would expect a bit of success before bringing them into a busy environment. Probably better to have a chat with the nursery ahead of time too so you can work together. They will most likely have their own policy about potty training but they'll be behind you 100% when the time is right

We can’t take annual leave, definitely not a week. DH’s holiday year runs Jan-Dec and he doesn’t have the time left. Normally I could but I’m 7 weeks pregnant and really suffering, I need a lot of help from DH so couldn’t have a week home with her myself - when I was pregnant with DD I ended up being signed off work for 2 months from about 8 weeks and while this pregnancy doesn’t seem quite as bad, it’s not great.
I think we’ll have to take her to nursery in a nappy tomorrow, but also take in some knickers and DH can speak to them about what they think. DD’s best friend at nursery uses a potty and DD has been talking about that at home so I don’t know, maybe she’d be better at nursery with the example from the other kids.
The other option is that over Christmas, with leave and the bank holidays we’re both off for 11 straight days, so we could just leave it for now and do it then.

Honestly I'd just leave it. Oh Crap is really big on the 'they're ready way before you think' etc., but we have just potty trained DD and a couple of months ago she didn't want to even sit on the potty and got upset about it if I tried to move her to it when she was peeing. According to the book we should have just kept going because she was old enough to be ready. But we didn't, because we didn't want it to be something she found stressful or upsetting. Then a couple of weeks ago she sat on the potty, did a wee, and was fully trained at home within three days entirely under her own steam.

Also nursery left it entirely to us to decide when she was ready to be potty trained, and have been really supportive once we said we were doing it.

I work in a nursery and I would expect children to have had several successful days at home using the potty
What I don’t expect is for children to be sent in knickers who haven’t even used the potty at home
Just put her in nappies and try again next weekend
Nursery’s role is to support you and continue with what you have been doing at home
They are not there to potty train your child
Sorry if that sounds harsh but I’m fed up with parents who think we have got time to potty train their children when we hardly have time to go to the toilet ourselves

I'd definitely wait until you're off over Christmas in that case. DC1 took to it on day 1 but still had a bladder the size of a pea, DC2 took 3 days to crack it bit is still more reliable. DC2 was interested for a few months before we actually had the time to do it so it won't do any harm leaving it around.

And we only sent DD in knickers after that three days when she was 90% reliable at home. I would never have sent her in pants if she hadn't even done one wee on a potty. That's just setting her up for failure.

She's not ready.
We were potty training at home and sending her to nursery in nappies when we started as she was comfortable with that.

But if you've had no success at all over a weekend she's not ready to use the potty. Wait until she tells you she needs a wee and wants to use the potty.

When they are ready, they are ready.

Both of my eldest were just over three years old. Both potty trained in one day, day and night (but by that time, night nappies had been dry a while.

Both times it went, “oh no, we don’t have any nappies anymore, shall we use the toilet instead?”

I had friends who struggled for months and only just cracked it at after 3.

I’ll be doing the same for my youngest when it’s time.

@insancerre

I work in a nursery and I would expect children to have had several successful days at home using the potty What I don’t expect is for children to be sent in knickers who haven’t even used the potty at home Just put her in nappies and try again next weekend Nursery’s role is to support you and continue with what you have been doing at home They are not there to potty train your child Sorry if that sounds harsh but I’m fed up with parents who think we have got time to potty train their children when we hardly have time to go to the toilet ourselves

No, it’s fine. The main reason I was wondering what to do is that the nursery have been…not quite pushy but certainly heading towards that.

Pushy sounds wrong, but definitely they’ve been fairly insistent in their view that she’s ready.

From my experience if you wait until they're ready it's much easier.

My son was weeks away from being 3 whereas my daughter was 2 and a half. Every child is different.

Of not success at home then stop and try again in a month or so. Perhaps wait until Xmas when you'll have some time off