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Original poster

Awful picture present, awkward situation, help!

25 replies

FVFrog · 17/10/2021 08:18

A lovely friend commissioned a pencil drawing of my dog from her sister for my birthday. Back story is her she has been estranged from her sister for several years. Recently back in contact with her sister. Sister used to ‘be very good’ at drawing as a child but never had any training and hasn’t drawn for years. Friend bought sister sketch book and pencils, to get her drawing again as she thought it would be good for her sister and paid her to do drawing of my dog from a photo for my birthday. I was oblivious to all of this, story was all told to me after I received present.
Picture given on birthday in beautiful large frame. It’s hideous. My DD did GCSE art and it’s a lower quality than her stuff was. Random black dog, bad composition etc.
She is going to expect to see it on my wall. What do I do??

OP posts:

Palavah · 17/10/2021 08:21

Thank her for the very thoughtful gift. Send her a photo of the drawing. Do not put it on the wall.

KaptainKaveman · 17/10/2021 08:22

Just say 'thanks' and that will be enough.

Shalala22 · 17/10/2021 08:25

Yes, say thanks and then maybe use the frame for something else if you like it, and say you've kept the dog art somewhere else but you just didn't fancy seeing your dog in the wall. People shouldn't really expect to pick other people's interiors by buying art etc. And especially very large pieces! We have a monstrous skull man stretching his cheeks piece of porcelain gifted to us - it's down in the basement! Totally not to our taste.

user1495885821 · 17/10/2021 08:33

Tell her the dog ran away to join the circus and is now a successful performing dog. You are pleased for its new career but heartbroken that it has left home and it is just too painful to display the picture and have a reminder on the wall. Of course, you will have to keep the dog hidden from your friend for ever more, but small price to pay.

NoSquirrels · 17/10/2021 08:38

Tell her you’ve hung it upstairs. Presumably your friends don’t routinely go upstairs in your house?

Or your DD absolutely LOVED it and asked to have it?

Or just say thank you and then nothing… if she asks, you ‘must get around to hanging it’ or ‘was going to hang it after we’ve decorated’ etc.

PerpendicularVincent · 17/10/2021 08:40

Keep it in a cupboard and hang it up when she comes over.

Calmdown14 · 17/10/2021 08:45

Prop it up on top of a chest of drawers or bedside table in your bedroom. Take a pic and say thanks, then shove it in your wardrobe.
It's like any other present you don't like, be grateful for the thought and effort

FallingStar21 · 17/10/2021 08:46

Your friend had good intentions, but if the sketch is as bad as you say, she should have not given it to you.
Can you tell her that you've hung it up in your office/workplace, your parents' house, a holiday home..anywhere else plausible that she'll never visit?
Or just say your walls are already taken by other pictures and you can't find space just yet. Then never mention it again.

Onlinedilema · 17/10/2021 08:48

Oh dear.
I think I would just thank her and leave it at that.
If she ever comes round and mentions it, just say you haven't got round to putting it up then change the subject.

girlmom21 · 17/10/2021 08:56

If she ever questions it it just doesn't match your decor

Rainbowqueeen · 17/10/2021 08:59

Take it into work with you and hang it up there is your best bet.

If not, say it’s hanging in your bedroom.

Floristry382 · 17/10/2021 09:11

I'd find somewhere to prop it up downstairs and then somewhere near by to store it, just whip it out every time she comes round! Or hang it in a room where you won't have to see it much.

MadameMonk · 17/10/2021 09:21

I suggest a combo of these suggestions. Prop it up in your bedroom. Take her to see it the first time she comes around.

Then shove it in a cupboard forever. Or dump it.

If she asks in the future, say your ‘niece’ fell in love with it and you agreed she could borrow it to have it properly copied. You know how flighty young folk can be, it can take ages to get things back. Decades, even.

Feel no guilt. You are lying out of love.

In the end, you could always tell the truth. I believe with art you always get to say ‘I appreciate the time and talent that went into it, it just wasn’t to my taste’ with a smile.

AnnaSW1 · 17/10/2021 09:28

Just say thanks. That's it. Don't put it up

Igneo · 17/10/2021 09:30

Whole back story sounds a bit weird. Estranged sister reconnects and instead of getting to know what interests sister has developed in intervening years, tries to get her back into a hobby she was good as at a teen... trying to recreate the sister as she thinks of her instead of accepting she is a different person now?
The fact she was unable to see the drawing was hideous suggests she refuses to see her sister is not the same person she remembers any more.

I’d definitely think less of your friend.

ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp · 17/10/2021 09:33

Can we see it?

grapewine · 17/10/2021 09:35

Say thank you. The end.

grapewine · 17/10/2021 09:37

.... and by that I mean don't hang it anywhere. Just forget about it.

namebunny · 17/10/2021 09:49

My friend has loads of arty mates, has a hook in the living room and does the hang it up when you go round trick. Brilliant, everyone happy and flattered.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/10/2021 10:43

What size is it? Would it fit in your guest WC?

Whataday21 · 17/10/2021 10:48

I wanna see it!!!

Original poster

FVFrog · 17/10/2021 10:59

Thank you! There are some brilliant suggestions here. She is a good friend and yes likely to be in my house, she (along with another friend) helped me decorate some rooms when I moved into a house back in January (post divorce) which was basically a wreck as had been rented out for many years.
@Igneo yes the whole thing is a bit strange agreed
@NoSquirrels that is possibly the answer, my DD has just moved into a studio flat at uni and misses the dog, I may say she has taken it!
It was a nice idea but it’s just very amateurish and not my taste, and as my artist friend said if it’s pencil drawing it should be photo real especially as if it’s a paid commission (which it was, and goodness knows how much it cost along with the frame which is partly why I feel so bad!)
@ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp I would feel bad just in case she’s in case anyone recognises it!!

OP posts:

ArranMumma · 17/10/2021 15:41

I’d probably just not put it up and just let it be a bit of an awkward elephant in the room lol. I don’t really know how else I’d handle it. If she asked where it was or where I’m going to put it I’d probably just be like “ooh I’ve not got round to it yet!” And just let it be weird and awkward. I mean what does she expect honestly.

RippleEffects · 17/10/2021 15:44

Wrap it up and gift it to her for Christmas.

Its such a precious thing between her and her sister after all - it would be very difficult to keep such a family treasure away from its true home.

Underamour · 18/10/2021 07:46

In this situation- estranged sister has been railroaded into doing a picture - because she was good at something decades ago?

Unsurprisingly, the picture isn’t great and you don’t know what to do?

She has spent hours doing this regardless of how you feel about the picture the effort and time she has put in should be commended. I would thank
her for her time and effort, mention a couple of positive things about it and then out it in the guest bedroom.

I used to crochet ten years ago at a bad time in my life and one of my family members would always make “oh so subtle” bitchy remarks about everything I did. All these years later he will get a smug look and ask me to crochet him a teacosy or something- so he can have a good laugh with his wife later about it. Obviously, he has been blocked from knowing about any of the other hobbies/interests I have had in the last ten years for this reason. Be courteous and kind. It never, ever hurts to do so.

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