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Anyone want to join my pity party?

22 replies

MrsIPFreely · 16/10/2021 23:24

This year has been shit. The beginning of the year started with a surprise 12k tax bill due to an accountant error. I was able to pay it but it wiped out all our savings and has meant this year is tight.
In march a close relative got diagnosed with a terminal illness after a sudden collapse which left them paralyzed. They stayed at home and I have helped with care and support. It has meant that I have had no capacity to deal with anything in my own house or life.
I was offered a new job last year but due to the company being taken over I didn't actually get placed in my new department until July. The role is 6 months training with a large project starting in January. I was asked not to take holiday in the first three months but we'd got two separate family holidays booked already as cancellations from the year before. Work were great but it wasn't ideal. After holiday number one I caught the awful virus which seems to be going round. I didn't take time off and it left me wiped out for weeks.
On holiday number 2 I had a phone call through from the hospital telling me they had an available date for the routine but major surgery I'd been waiting the last two years for.
I had the surgery six weeks ago. Sadly my relative died three weeks after. The build up was very stressful so I didn't really have much time to recover from the operation. I developed a bad infection which has interfered with the healing process and I think it will require more surgery to fix it.
I went back to work last Monday.
I caught Covid on Thursday. I feel like shit (despite being double jabbed) and will not be allowed back in work for ten days. I feel like my colleagues must think I'm awful. In three years I've only ever had one day off sick but they don't know that. I'm really behind on my training and feel totally overwhelmed but I'm absolutely exhausted. I have 4 DC of school age (Inc primary) and it just feels relentless right now.

I just wanted to moan really. Please feel to add your woes.

OP posts:
EspressoDoubleShot · 16/10/2021 23:48

Oh my that’s a ghastly set of events,illness,debt,death. In a short time time
Btw, pity party is when you’re having a bit of a self indulgent moan. Being a bit wah poor me. This is not the case. Given what you’ve endured I’d say you’re being quite measured.

SageYourResoluteOracle · 17/10/2021 00:26

Oh bloody hell that’s an awful lot to have had to deal with! And it’s no wonder that you’re exhausted as it all sounds relentless. You moan away: you’re perfectly entitled to do so. And I’m so sorry for the loss of your relative.
Try and be kind to yourself and see the enforced time off (totally beyond your control) as a chance to recuperate although Covid is horrid so this might take a few days. If all else fails, my lovely and very wise mum always says that it’s not how you cope that matters, just that you actually do cope. Hang on in there.

TrollsAreSaddos · 17/10/2021 00:46

That is very sad about your relative. 💐💐💐
I’m not surprised that you are feeling sorry for yourself. The last year or so has been difficult for lots of people but it sounds like you have had a really rough time. Hopefully you will feel better soon and then,maybe, you can use the rest of the ten days to relax.

thaegumathteth · 17/10/2021 00:54

It's not a pity party - sometimes you need to just acknowledge that actually yes things really have been shit and hard and unfair. You've got this far, you're closer to hopefully better times.

Re your work colleagues I think a lot of people will understand more than you think and if they don't well then fuck them

PutYourBackIntoit · 17/10/2021 01:01

I hear you with the guilt of being unreliable in work.

I also need a pity party and to feel that I'm reasonable to be stressed (I feel the pressure to look for positives and I don't find this helpful)

My amazing, bright daughter is a shell of herself. Hasn't attended school since March. Perfect storm of undiagnosed adhd, bullying, puberty. Getting help is tough. She won't leave the house.
I'm finding my friendships difficult because I naturally hear how their kids are getting on. I worry about her day to day (non) lifestyle, and her future, constantly.

I don't have the energy to write down everything else but husband is covid positive, work is a nightmare, and house is falling apart. I want to run away.....

GreenLunchBox · 17/10/2021 01:05

Oh, bloody hell, poor you! What on earth.

Don't worry about work ...these are all legit scenarios and I guarantee nobody is thinking bad of you. Why not say something to your boss about how bad you feel about the catalogue of events making you take so much time off and how you were never off before. There's no need to but I'm sure their reaction will set your mind at ease Smile

GreenLunchBox · 17/10/2021 01:07

And sorry about your relative Sad

MrsIPFreely · 17/10/2021 08:11

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm known as very tough and resilient which I am but sometimes it's great to have an outlet.

PutYourBackIntoit Your poor girl. I hope you manage to get some support. So sorry you are going through it too. Feel free to share more it helps writing it down. Life is a complete bastard sometimes.

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BubblingBottle · 17/10/2021 08:14

Oh you poor thing. This year's been more than shit for you I'd say. Hopefully all this bad luck in one fell swoop means a very long period of good luck and joy coming your way Flowers Xxx

BubblingBottle · 17/10/2021 08:15

Why did you pay the £12k tax bill if it was due to an error?

Maverickess · 17/10/2021 08:29

I'd say it's perfectly reasonable to want a good moan after what you've been through, I'm sorry you've had all that to deal with.

I've had a shit year too, doesn't seem to be getting any better, I'm like "Oh what now?!" every time the phone rings, family and pet deaths, injury, illness, covid and after effects, work utterly sucks and I'm stuck between taking time I need to recover and taking extra work on to try and make up the shortfall I lost being off sick. Like you I've not had a sick or absent day in years until this year when I seem to have pretty much the whole summer off either laid up ill/injured or at bedsides and then funerals.
I know these things happen in every day life, but I don't know why they have to happen all at the same time!

MrsIPFreely · 17/10/2021 09:29

BubblingBottle It was my (now ex) accountants error. I'm self-employed but also started employment in that tax year. Despite numerous times being asked how this might affect my self-assessment he said it would be fine and to leave it as it was. It was totally and utterly avoidable.

Maverickess It does all seem to happen at once doesn't it. I hope your shit stuff stops now and the rest of the year is event free.

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BubblingBottle · 17/10/2021 12:26

Despite numerous times being asked how this might affect my self-assessment he said it would be fine and to leave it as it was. It was totally and utterly avoidable

I guess it couldn't be disputed then or now?

EspressoDoubleShot · 17/10/2021 12:35

Can you pursue accountant via professional standards for his poor practice
Such a shame that his ineptitude financially cost you

LetsGoBrandon · 17/10/2021 12:43

@ MrsIPFreely and PutYourBackIntoit , neither of you are having a pity party, you're both going through a really shitty hard time and if it helps to come and have rant, please do. There are lovely people on here that are happy to be a virtual shoulder to cry on... ThanksThanksThanks to both of you and everyone going through a shitty time right now...far too many people ..

Thelnebriati · 17/10/2021 13:45

Can I join the thread? I have a flippin' stomach ulcer and am on day 3 of treatment for helicobacter. The treatment is wiping me out.
I knew it was serious when the GP phoned me 3 days after I had the blood test!

MrsIPFreely · 17/10/2021 14:22

Thelnebriati All welcome to join here. Sorry you feel so rubbish. Hope the treatment kicks in soon.

OP posts:
HerRoyalWitchyness · 17/10/2021 14:27

Thats a lot to cope with.

I'm feeling miserable right now because I have a fractured shoulder plus pneumonia. So I'm in a sling to immobilise the shoulder and I'm on 2 types of antibiotics to clear the pneumonia. I'm a single mum to 3 DC, and their dad decided this would be the week he went to work away with his brother (cash in hand of course Hmm) and not have the little 2 on Saturday night like he usually does so I've not even had a break.(DS1 is 12 and refuses to go)

Reptar · 17/10/2021 14:33

OMG, how do you cough with a fractured shoulder?

HerRoyalWitchyness · 17/10/2021 14:34

@Reptar painfully. Its horrible.

MrsIPFreely · 17/10/2021 16:26

HerRoyalWitchyness oh my word. That sounds horrendous you poor thing. Sending healing vibes your way.

OP posts:
JovialNickname · 17/10/2021 16:42

I'm so sorry IPFreely, what a horrible time you've had x It sounds like an almost perfect storm of surgery, illness, death, job insecurity, financial worries. You don't deserve pity you deserve some compassion, love and support Flowers

Well I have come to join your pity party in my primark heels, armed with mixers (the cheapest drinks option) because I have knowingly done something I didn't like, fully aware that I wouldn't like the outcome, and am feeling sorry for myself anyway. (Trivial problem)

Sending lots of love and care to those on this thread who are suffering,and hope you feel better soon x

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