Needy grandparents and newborn

[FTMell]

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not. I'm a FTM to a 2 week old baby. After a load of visitors in the first week I'm trying to enjoy time just me, DP and baby before he goes back to work as he works away during the week and we will never get this time back. My hormones are all over the place and I've been very emotional. My parents came round to see baby the day after he was born which was the day I came home from hospital as did DP's parents. My parents came round quite a few a few times in the first week but have only seen them Wednesday this week. I've had some messages saying they are quite upset as they have hardly seen baby and would like to see him more and haven't had a very good week because of this, mum has felt a bit low she said. I just feel this is putting a lot of pressure on me. We had a good relationship but I feel like this is making things a bit tense.

My mum has a lot of friends who see there grandchildren loads so think she is just comparing to what she thinks is 'normal' but I would find that too suffocating. DP is happy whatever and doesn't mind when they come over. Had similar issues with DP's mum as she was calling over without letting us know but seems to be a bit more understanding now and giving us space. Am I being too precious? How often did grandparents visit in your family in the early days? I just want to stay in our own little bubble!

As a grandmother of 4 myself, I'd say that it's the 1st grandchild and they're just in love as you are with them. Equally, it's your time as a new family and they really need to respect that.

Let it wash over you, and say that once your DH is back at work, you'll be glad of their company especially as you'll be busy with the baby and the help in the house will be so very welcome. Set your boundaries out and don't let anyone trample them.

With Ds1 my parents and PIL came to the hospital that day, a 3 hour drive for both sets of parents. They stayed an hour each.

Then I didn't see my Mum for the next 2 weeks as Dh was on paternity leave so we were a bubble of 3. My Mum then came down on the Sunday night and stayed with me until Friday mid-day when Dh went back to work.

After that we saw parents/PIL about every 3-4 weekends with them coming to us. My Mum is a roll her sleeves up, make you cups of tea, do the laundry etc so she stayed with us. PIL are guests, we have tried over the years and this never changed, they stayed in a local B&B.

Both parents and PIL worked full time so could only really come down at weekends to see us.

It is completely normal to not want visitors all the time. You dictate the terms of visits.