Hello all,
I've recently joined a company on a contract. I understand my responsibilities and am on top of the tasks that've been given to me to do. However, I've also experienced a few slip ups that have fed my self doubt over the months since. I was a mess at a point during a presentation, i.e. the 'usual'; stuttering, mispronouncing sentences, a hoarse voice. My managers had absolutely no reaction to this, but that I was missing content that I didn't know I could find on the intranet.
In another presentation, one of my managers looked absolutely sour at what I was showing, it being my interpretation of a new template that we could implement for a website. It turns out that by a new template, they had meant matching parts together, and not the overall layout of how it could all be formatted. As it was nearing the end of my probationary period, I was told that I needed to "start justifying why I was being paid". I understand that said manager might've been under pressure that day, but it had immensely affected how I approached him later on.
Aside from this, there's a person that has newly joined alongside me, let's call them "S". Just to note; S's dad works at the company and has years of experience. S has managed to, in my opinion, outshine me already. They have wholeheartedly taken on the focus of their job and think outside the box. As a whole, they're an example of those who problem solve as they go along. My managers love them and seem to be astounded at times by the ideas that they come up with.
I don't discourage them and am happy that they feel in place. I believe in a friendly workplace and personally, I used to be quite talkative. But since my second presentation, with one of my managers having acted both impatient and fed up, and the other as 'good cop', I have become quiet, hesitant and unconfident, and with S's employment, overshadowed. With this, the friendly dynamic that I felt I had with my managers has gone, and I have begun to worry that by the end of my contract, I will be benchmarked against S and discarded, because not only am I no longer as talkative as S is, but also because they have exceeded all expectations.
I would like to have your opinions, thank you.