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Original poster

Kiddy Wars

35 replies

ExPatHereForAChat · 15/10/2021 15:54

Light-hearted (kind of!) and just keen to canvas opinions.

I was at a church group a few weeks ago and there were about 20 children all playing with Lego, Duplo, crayons, paper etc. in the middle of the room.

Child A (perhaps aged 3, let's call her Julia) had made a big tower/house building. She was playing with it almost exclusively. She then turned to play with the teddy bear box.

Child B (perhaps aged 2, let's call her Hannah) then took the tower/house building and started to play with it.

When Julia noticed she got very upset.
Both parents saw this.

Hannah's parent offered Julia a different toy but did not tell Hannah to give the building back.

Julia's parents realised this so made it clear the building was taken by saying 'Did she take your building?' and 'I understand why you're upset, you spent a lot of time making that building and she took it from you'.

After a while (maybe 45 seconds of Julia's parent strongly hinting) Hannah's parent took the building from Hannah and gave it to Julia. Hannah then got upset.

So, was Julia's parent right to assume Hannah's parent should have made Hannah give the building back as soon as they saw how upset Julia was?

OP posts:
ImFree2doasiwant · 15/10/2021 19:25

Communal toys are for everyone yo play with. Julie left the lego, hannah started playing with it. Both mums should have said the lego was for everyone

Original poster
ExPatHereForAChat · 15/10/2021 19:46

@eveagarden Thank you for advice, taking it all on board.
I will say though, that the house had been abandoned in favour of a Teddy bear and Julia only wanted it back back when she saw Hannah had it

OP posts:
Original poster
ExPatHereForAChat · 15/10/2021 19:49

Sorry, comment should be for @evesgarden

OP posts:

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Navigationcentral · 15/10/2021 19:56

As for me, I am simply in awe of the energy of other parents to have surplus to write on online fora about toddler warring. I am lying on the sofa half under a Shihtzu absolutely wiped out with work and dinner time to notice what the 5 yo and 19 month old squabbled over an hour ago. There are - I notice - 57831 pieces of duplo on the floor that neither has put away. Ah well.

Original poster
ExPatHereForAChat · 15/10/2021 20:00

@maltesebubs

I haven't made this thread to be told I'm right and I do genuinely welcome others' views. However, I don't think that's a fair comment.

For example, earlier on Hannah had been playing with a toy plane for a few minutes and put it down to get something out of the box. Another boy took the plane and Hannah got upset but I distracted her with something else as I feel like they're all communal toys. (I do see now that most think there's a big difference between a ready made plane and a duplo made house).

I initially encouraged both kids to share the house and did eventually make Hannah return it. Admittedly, this was mainly due to Julia's mum's comments and the fact she wasn't trying to offer an alternative solution.

So I disagree I'm raising her to be entitled.

OP posts:
Original poster
ExPatHereForAChat · 15/10/2021 20:03

@navigationcentral Grin As a PP deduced, she is my PFB. By the time number 2 arrives I'll probably have stopped supervising play time and be hiding in the next room with a brew like a sensible human.

OP posts:
Hen2018 · 15/10/2021 20:10

This is a worrying thread title for those of us who live near Kidderminster.

Navigationcentral · 15/10/2021 20:35

@Hen2018

This is a worrying thread title for those of us who live near Kidderminster.
I realise that spitting out ones coffee laughing is a symbolic thing said on Mumsnet but I have indeed spat out a bit of my chicken biriyani at this comment.
winterchills · 15/10/2021 20:36

She had finished playing with it and sounds like she only wanted it because she saw Hannah playing with it. I think Julia's parents are in the wrong on this one

MalteseBubs · 15/10/2021 20:43

[quote ExPatHereForAChat]@maltesebubs

I haven't made this thread to be told I'm right and I do genuinely welcome others' views. However, I don't think that's a fair comment.

For example, earlier on Hannah had been playing with a toy plane for a few minutes and put it down to get something out of the box. Another boy took the plane and Hannah got upset but I distracted her with something else as I feel like they're all communal toys. (I do see now that most think there's a big difference between a ready made plane and a duplo made house).

I initially encouraged both kids to share the house and did eventually make Hannah return it. Admittedly, this was mainly due to Julia's mum's comments and the fact she wasn't trying to offer an alternative solution.

So I disagree I'm raising her to be entitled.[/quote]

But she didn't make the plane or build it from Lego. It's just a plane so it's fair game once it's been out down.

You told us Child A built the house herself so it's her creation. It's different

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