Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

WWYD - living situation LP

4 replies

kokokokokokokokoko · 14/10/2021 22:22

Hi, am LP with no real support or family where I live. Expensive town in the SE. Work part time and cannot get a mortgage on my low wage. Applied for council housing and was apparently kicked off the waiting list unbeknown to me 5 years ago because I hadn't been bidding on properties (recently found out to my utter disappointment). Currently in a shit private rental, no garden, can't afford to move elsewhere because it is super cheap and nowhere else in my town would be affordable to me. But it's driving me potty. I could go back on council list but it could be 3-5 years before I get a property.

I feel like I am going insane in this town. My exP is here but is not mentally well and rarely available (I have DD all the time). So he adds another level of difficulty. All my friends left. Property too expensive to buy or rent.

My options are to move up north and potentially get a mortgage on a small property but I don't know anyone and my budget would not go far at all. Or to move back to hometown where I might get on housing list due to having relatives (parents) in the area.

The thought of going back to my sleepy town depresses the hell out of me but at least I would have the support of my mum (dad is not very helpful).

I can work from anywhere due to being self employed.

I feel like 9 years of single parenting has really had a poor impact on my health and mental health over the years. I've had little support and every day has been a struggle. I am running out of options. I loved up north when I visited to see what it was like but I know nobody and am worried it might be even worse for my MH to go there and be more isolated. But it did feel like a breath of fresh air.

WWYD in my situation?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/10/2021 22:27

Which is the nearest city to your mum? If you've been living somewhere lively then moving somewhere sleepy perhaps isn't a good idea unless that's specifically what you want. I would definitely be looking at buying rather than hanging around waiting for a council house. I think that could take forever.

Sparklfairy · 14/10/2021 22:29

Well if you didn't have DC I'd suggest moving up north on a 6mth rental. But its unfair to keep uprooting DC with schools and friends if you really can't cope.

You could make the leap with a view to it being "permanent" but you'd have to totally commit to integrating into the local community. They're a friendly bunch (I'm in the SE too) but check out areas and what groups/classes/etc are about. And mum friends at school?

You sound so unhappy where you are, and your parents would be a step backwards possibly.

kokokokokokokokoko · 14/10/2021 22:52

I'm really torn. I'm struggling with MH and physical health issues.

I'm possibly over thinking how bad it would be in my hometown and I suppose I could leave after a year or two.

See I'm also struggling with the idea of getting a mortgage. I feel like on paper it would be great but what if some health issue happened to me and it was even worse then? (My parents never bought and so I have not a lot of confidence in myself to do the same!).

But I did love it up north when I visited. And loved the people. It felt a bit like my spiritual home.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 14/10/2021 23:10

When I was stuck in a place with bad MH, I wanted to move but felt paralysed. I'd find obstacles with my every option and in the end it was so exhausting and scary that inertia felt easier, even though it made me miserable and my MH worse.

Eventually I didn't get a choice and circumstances forced me to make the change. Its not perfect, it has its frustrations, annoyances and own disappointments here, obstacles and all, but I am infinitely happier than I was before.

I can't tell a stranger on the internet what the answer is, but do something.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page