Worst wedding gifts?

[ConstantlyIrksome]

Inspired by a couple of other threads about wedding gifts - what was the worst thing you were given?

For me it's a toss-up between the clearly regifted ceramic chicken egg-safe, and the tea-towel printed with "Hubby and Wifey for Lifey". Both went immediately to the charity shop. I'm not generally fussy about gifts and usually happy with whatever someone is kind enough to go to the effort to purchase/wrap/transport but these were too much even for me!

And a stopper is NEVER required

I "gave" an awful present once.

I forgot the card (with £60 in) so intended to pop home between the reception and the evening but I was far too drunk in the end.

I took the card with me to their child's birthday party a few months later (the first time I saw them after the wedding) and someone stole the money from the card before they got to it.

I'm sure they think I'm lying but I'm not. I couldn't afford to replace it.

@Cuntness

I "gave" an awful present once.

I forgot the card (with £60 in) so intended to pop home between the reception and the evening but I was far too drunk in the end.

I took the card with me to their child's birthday party a few months later (the first time I saw them after the wedding) and someone stole the money from the card before they got to it.

I'm sure they think I'm lying but I'm not. I couldn't afford to replace it.

Did you have any idea who might have stolen it?

@BluebelllsRosesDaffodills

Not a clue. I don't really know many of the grooms friends and there were quite a few people in the house. I should have sealed the envelope but it just didn't occur to me that someone would steal from a child's party!

I've learnt my lesson now.

Not a wedding gift, but a christening gift for our eldest child. One of DH's family members (who is a difficult woman generally) told us that she had made some homemade cherry brandy for our baby DS and it was sitting in her larder and on his 18th birthday would then give it to us.

we were a bit not least because we had expressly said that he did not need any gifts.

In the years since then that woman has managed to cheat us out of hundreds of pounds through various levens of deceit and so I am bloody tempted to ask her where the brandy is when DS turns 18.

(When DS2 was born she turned up with an opened jigsaw with bits missing and then asked us for a tenner for it. )

(Oh and it is not that she is skint. She is a multi property owning millionaire who spends half the year in the Canaries).

A wooden thing to hang our keys on.

It was a plank of wood with bits gouged out to make it look rustic and coated with hideous orangey brown varnish. Stuck to the front was a plastic fan saying "Espana". The hooks for the keys were made of plastic as was the hanging "chain". The worst sort of holiday souvenir. The elderly relative who gave it us seemed to think that it was lovely.

Someone gave us a couple of glass ashtrays with the 20p sticker still on them. Neither of us smoked, or allowed smoking in the house.

A dark wood, very old fashioned barometer.

We live in Wales where there’s a 99% chance of rain at all times.

@SixTwirlingTutus

Not a wedding gift, but a christening gift for our eldest child. One of DH's family members (who is a difficult woman generally) told us that she had made some homemade cherry brandy for our baby DS and it was sitting in her larder and on his 18th birthday would then give it to us.

we were a bit not least because we had expressly said that he did not need any gifts.

In the years since then that woman has managed to cheat us out of hundreds of pounds through various levens of deceit and so I am bloody tempted to ask her where the brandy is when DS turns 18.

(When DS2 was born she turned up with an opened jigsaw with bits missing and then asked us for a tenner for it. )

I hope you got her suitably awful presents as well!