Welcome to the UK 2021, the country where no cunt answers their phone

[DildoBoggins]

At work, I mean.

I have heard previously that some folks get the anxiety about talking on phones. Is this now more common? Or is it just that everyone is sat watching daytime TV while they work from home?

I don't know the answer but I heard your title in Begbie's voice 😂

I find it hard to talk on phone. This is hilarious, I made buckets of phone calls to random pet stores in the phone book as a child to sell hamsters I bred (1970s), yet now I try hard to avoid phone calls. It's pure lack of practice got me to this state.

I barely ever watch tv, day or night, btw. Basically when DH has it on I might see a bit.

Daytime tv is that still a thing?!

Who do you need to call and why?

Are you selling something?

I have nothing useful to say except I really needed a laugh and this thread title achieved one 😂😂😂😂

This week I have tried to call: DVLA, GP, energy provider. No luck with any of them.

Speaking of phone calls... I had to talk to motor insurance person this evening -- the customer advisor was evidently at home, pet noises in background. I felt for anyone trying to 'work' in such a distracting environment.

@DildoBoggins ah that was me with the dvla today ... voice message or engaged tone ... useless ... but your thread cracked me up so thank you 🙌🙌🙌

'Pet noises' 👀👀😲😲😳

Probably best I didn't get an answer if all there is are pet noises.

• Hellair, is that the DVLA?

All banks, insurance etc seem to have a permanent message saying they are busier than normal, and suggesting you go on their website. I wouldn't be phoning if I didn't need to talk to someone.

Tbh I prefer to do as much communication as possible by email.
I make an effort to avoid phoning people at work and don't have a work phone.
I think it's better to have evidence (paper trail) with email, and it generally saves time.

You're totally right! I've used up my lunchtimes most days trying to get service providers to have them tell me I should use the online option. When I point out that that particular option isn't available they're embarrassed

@DildoBoggins

Probably best I didn't get an answer if all there is are pet noises.

• Hellair, is that the DVLA?

🤣🤣🤣

Tweet someone they say try our Facebook messenger Facebook them it comes up with please email out of office reply says please call xxx number call and you get a message saying they are experiencing "HIGH CALL VOLUME" no shit sherlock

yep , rang utilita last night who supply my energy to ask a question and after pressing this key and that key finally got through to the right dept to listen to their shit music and messages about how sorry they are im waiting , after 49 minutes i gave up . drives me mad

I've had a huge uptick in people hiring me to be "on hold" for them (yes, this is a job now!). It's frustrating with companies who aren't hugely established, but with big agencies and established providers I usually have a contact who I can message direct and circumnavigate the queue. I do agree that most of them will move heaven and Earth not to speak on the phone (I assume this is because they've sneaked off abroad or something).

Other than British Gas, who are downright awful. Not had any issues with DVLA so far.

I had a good laugh at 'Pet noises', hoping it was a goat or something.

@stayathomer YY same! I have spent the last two lunchtimes going about my business with my phone in my pocket on hold (through earphones - I'm not some kind of a savage) until I get cut off.

There is a book by Graham Greene called The Human Factor where the main character is in a jam so he sends a signal to his spymasters by going to a phone box, calling a number and letting it ring three times. The narrative says that he felt like he had called out for help three times in an empty street. PROPHETIC, no?!

(Also, if he tried that now he'd end up getting shot for definite because no cunt would pay any attention.)

I've noticed this. Lots of work mobiles that seem to be permanently off/never answered. No wonder some companies think productivity has gone down since people started working remotely, no bugger can ever get hold of them to request any work to be done.

Should add, as someone who has worked remotely since before Covid, it does piss me off. I'm very productive working from home but that's because I don't have the TV on, don't have kids clattering about in the background, shut myself away from my dogs and make sure I'm actually contactable and working during working hours. It's a battle to convince people, including potential employers (not that I'm looking for a new job at present, but it's been tricky in the past) that I'm productive at home when their experience is largely colleagues/employees who are always distracted and never contactable when working remotely.

A colleague of mine organises quite large corporate events and tried (and failed) to phone a hotel - where she has a confirmed 2 day booking - 30 times last week!

Begbie

I started a new job yesterday and we were discussing how some staff are refusing to come back to the office, claiming their productivity hadn't been affected by WFH. This led into a discussion about companies who still appear to have a high percentage at home, but are blaming the pandemic for long waits on the phone. If everyone is as productive, why is it so difficult to get hold of anyone? (The banks are my bugbear at the moment)

Services do not want to pay to properly staff phone services. Many have cut the number of call centre staff. They want people to go to the website and only phone if they cant avoid it. It has nothing to do with people working from home. People in call centres are measured on how many calls they take, how quickly they answer calls, how long calls last, etc - including those working at home. They are not sitting watching TV.

I had a nice chat about car insurance with a WFH call handler and her barking dog last week.

@DaisyNGO

I don't know the answer but I heard your title in Begbie's voice 😂

😂😂😂

I can’t answer my work phone anymore, we’re permanently wfh and the network provider they use has absolutely no signal in my neighbourhood. My work phone is essentially now a paperweight! No option to change provider and no chance I’m giving out my personal number so if people call me they get a message to leave an email and I’ll get in touch - the voice recording gets sent to my inbox and I follow up that way.