Am I being a cow?

[MagicMatilda]

Prepared to be told I’m being a cow but would appreciate some external opinions..

DH works away from the home a lot which means I’m left to do all the schools run, child care, dinners, housework, general house admin, party present buying etc I also have a very full on/high pressure full time job alongside all this.

When DH gets home he think it’s his break as he’s been away working and won’t pull his weight! It’s really starting to get my back up. If anything I think he should do extra while he’s back to give me a break. Things are so full on while he’s away.

He thinks I’m being completely unreasonable.

Thoughts? Am I the cow?

He’s out of order. You should split the load while he’s home.

He needs to pull his socks up and start shouldering his share of the load. Some men have such a sense of entitlement to free time whilst their wife gets none.

No he is being the cow.

You are not being a cow. If my DP did that I’d be furious.

Why doesn’t he want to play the fullest part in his children’s lives for the short times he’s around? Doesn’t he want to spend time with them?

That’s obviously apart from not caring about you and making your life easier while you facilitate his gallivanting.

He’s selfish and lazy. You’re being taken for a mug.

Thank you all so much for the support! Nice to know I’m not being self entitled myself.

Just not really sure how I can resolve this. I’ve had the conversation so many times.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why doesn’t he want to play the fullest part in his children’s lives for the short times he’s around? Doesn’t he want to spend time with them?

That’s obviously apart from not caring about you and making your life easier while you facilitate his gallivanting.

He’s selfish and lazy. You’re being taken for a mug.

I know I am technically facilitating this behaviour but genuinely nothing would get done.

I’ve tried stepping back and letting it play out but it’s not in my nature and I feel it’s not fair on our children. He would “forget” about clubs, even snacks!

When he's away and finished work, he gets to relax. You don't. Try getting him to read this: www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear

Quite honestly, if he doesn't get it once you've clearly and calmly spelled it out to him, you only have 2 options: accept it or leave him.

Stop cooking, washing, ironing etc... for him. Lazy twat.

He is being unfair. It's also likely that you both have too much on, snd need to buy in some help. Two high powered jobs snd kids don't mix well without any extra support.