Autistic dating

[wombatsandaplant]

Basically I’m autistic and I’m trying to find that special woman (I’m also a woman just fyi)

I’m 26 and just had my second ever date. The first girl I went on a date with I liked but she said we should meet up again and to send my number on tinder but she then never contacted me again. The date today she was nice but not really my thing.

Both times were a bit awkward, I end up saying the wrong thing or don’t have enough chat and there’s awkward silences. I just don’t know how to get across the essence of me in an hour. I’m just not great at chat.

I don’t necessarily want to go with someone also autistic but maybe if we both knew we were autistic or the other person knows I’m autistic then it might be easier. The dating agencies on the undateables look good but none of them are based where I am in north east Scotland.

I just need some help.

I'm not great in social situations with strangers either, but I find it's easier somewhere that has an activity, because you always have something to talk about to break the ice. That's why so many people meet at work.

In the past I've met a boyfriend on a corporate clay shooting day, one at parkrun and one on a day's baking course.

Normal dates, I'm not so good at.

Yeah I prefer to be doing something, the first date we walked my dog along the beach promenade. This time we went to a coffee shop and it was okay but I preferred the walk, but being October most don’t want to walk outside.

I'm autistic too and am dreadful at small talk. When I was dating I found it easier to do an activity like walks outside or ice skating. Going to the cinema is also good as you can at least talk about the film afterwards. Good luck, hopefully you'll find someone lovely soon

Aw, bless you. I have an autistic daughter (16), and she's beautiful but doesn't get asked out. I do worry for her trying to get dates/a partner in the future.
As an awkward person myself I agree with others that it's better to get to know people through activities or gradually by being in a regular club.

Good luck.

Boardgames and cardgames have been extremely good for me. Fewer silences,

I do think it would perhaps be easier if the other person knew you were autistic. It would give them a better understanding of you. Perhaps it could be something that you bring up in the conversation fairly early on? I think for most people early dating is very awkward. I never went on any dates as such, I found that sort of thing excruciating.

I have just added I’m autistic, to all my dating apps, well see if it helps or not.

Thanks for all the suggestions.