How to help a Y3 child remember to bring things home?

[TheWrongReasonMaybe]

She’s 7 (end of july born).

Dyslexic, and has hypermobility. I’ve posted about her on Primary Education (and I’m still considering homeschooling for anyone who saw that thread).

She would literally forget her feet if they weren’t on the end of her legs.

At home we use visual check lists with a picture on. I did her one for school and it ended up in her tray forgotten about.

Even labelled school uniform doesn’t come home so I’m keen to try and help her to remember. The only thing that’s ever made it home after being lost is certificates.. So far this half term she’s lost:

• 6 Pairs of gloves (she can’t do anything with her hands if they’re cold so she takes a pair to school)
• 2 logoed jumpers
• 2 letters that were meant to come home – one of which was about the flu vaccines!
• Her homework exercise book
• An invite to her best friends party
• 1 pair of tracksuit trouser - it was PE day and she was wearing them, even the teachers still baffled how she lost them!

Teacher reminds her to put things in her bag but DD gets distracted or she forgets or just isn’t listening. Teacher will remind again but by that point DDs put whatever it was down and forgotten where.

She can’t read and struggles with writing so nothing too complicated. School will literally try anything at this point.

They have been putting important things in emails to me, but they want DD to be a bit more independent too. It might not be within her capabilities but we want to try.

So tips? Anyone got a forgetful child and found ways to help?

Sounds like she struggles with executive function, it's typical with ASD but probably dyslexia/dyspraxia/ADHD etc too as all linked. Mine is a teen and has to write things on his hand to have any chance of remembering them so I'm afraid it doesn't get any better as they get older! I'm the same though so can't really complain!

@CoffeeWithCheese the shoe thing! My child (on more than one occasion) rocked up to PE with no shoes on... just in their socks. And you have to cross the whole school site from changing to the Sports Hall!

@CoffeeWithCheese

Some variation on TomTags might help her (www.tinknstink.co.uk/tomtag-i-know-what-to-expect-morning-and-evening-mini-kit.html?ff=2&fp=7289&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google_Shopping&gclid=CjwKCAjwzaSLBhBJEiwAJSRokqMgMj0jIGkvfA3HyrYJM6Yr80X2tec-uSq_BaVfjRYMuJrXk3Q4yRoC1ZoQAvD_BwE for the idea)

DD2 is exactly like this - has a dyspraxia and ASD diagnosis and a strong query over ADHD as well. In the infants what helped was a teacher on board with us who drilled in the routine that "if it was removed from your body, or given to you to take home - it goes straight into the bag" and her taking a rucksack in instead of a book bag.

Then Covid hit - the junior school (she transitioned up) banned bags, class teacher was very much of a "special needs my arse they all just need to try harder" mindset (thank fuck this woman's retired now) and DD2 lost absolutely bloody everything - even managed to leave the school building one day and get to the gate without her flipping shoes on!

I did checklists attached to her belongings, name labelled everything with so many labels I'm surprised she didn't stick to things... we lost hundreds of pounds of belongings in drips and drops over the course of that year.

This year - much more on board class teacher and supportive school in general - and she's switched to keeping everyone ELSE organised!!! We keep a zip wallet inside the classroom and anything to go home goes in there, then into the bag as she leaves and she's not lost anything in an entire month and a half! This is a miracle level change. School are aware though and have been warned that DD will be that child who manages to lose their pants at least 3 times on school swimming lessons (there is one in every class - think it's the law or something).

She's a year older than yours though and we do a lot of work at home modelling "I need to take my glasses off, I must remember to put them where I always put them down so I know where to look for them" type strategies which are starting to pay some dividends.

Oh my yes the shoes!

DD has come back from indoor PE without her shoes, thankfully the TA has always noticed and called her back but it wouldn't be beyond her to walk round school all afternoon without them, and she;d not think to to tell anyone either.

At home we're always losing shoes. I've tried the "when you take them off put them in the hall so we don't lose them" but she doesn't want to some of it could be tiredness in her muscles due to the HM but it's so annoying when I've told her what to do and we lose her shoes! Arrgggh

She's managed to come home with someone else's PE kit today, no idea how because PE kit isn;t due to come home until next week and has lost brand new logoed jumper again! It was labelled and everything! But we've got gloves, reading book and water bottle at least.

I hate to suggest responsibility to another student but maybe ask the teacher about this.

I volunteer in a primary school and they have several children with roles, so those that fetch the milk or the ipads for the class, we even have fire register monitor (right next to the teacher so they keep an eye on things) points monitor for each table as the tables are awarding good behaviour or good work or effort points. I can't see this being any different. There are always some very organised children who would be willing to help.

@JohnGetHomeNow

I hate to suggest responsibility to another student but maybe ask the teacher about this.

I volunteer in a primary school and they have several children with roles, so those that fetch the milk or the ipads for the class, we even have fire register monitor (right next to the teacher so they keep an eye on things) points monitor for each table as the tables are awarding good behaviour or good work or effort points. I can't see this being any different. There are always some very organised children who would be willing to help.

DDs primary doesn't have jobs for any children but year 6. Year 6 are the school council, house captains, and lead play for the YR-Y2.

The school doesn't use Ipads in Years 3 and above and there's a tuck shop with milk run by the cook for KS2 so no need to bring anything to class.

I mean I can ask but as they're still in bubbles it would have to be someone in her class, and I don't feel a 7 or 8 year old should have responsibility for another 7 year old.

It wouldn't necessarily have to be a child responsible for just her. If this were my class (I'm a teacher), I could do 'table leaders' and have them remind peers of what they need. But tbh I've taught plenty of 7 year olds who could organise my life, never mind another 7 year old

AosSi yep, met those children. They are the ones who love washing up after breadmaking or happily wipe down tables.

All the children I mentioned are within their own classrooms and from year 3 up. I sort of meant have a buddy help her with her check list rather than do it for her, so first thing on the list gets done before they move onto the next. Peer on peer teaching can be beneficial.

@JohnGetHomeNow

AosSi yep, met those children. They are the ones who love washing up after breadmaking or happily wipe down tables.

All the children I mentioned are within their own classrooms and from year 3 up. I sort of meant have a buddy help her with her check list rather than do it for her, so first thing on the list gets done before they move onto the next. Peer on peer teaching can be beneficial.

Sorry I misunderstood, thats a great idea definitely. I can ask the teacher.

I would say though, if things which are labelled are never reappearing, its worth investigating more as to whether things are being taken/hidden from her.
My ds had a reputation for being ditzy and losing stuff at school, but it was only the day when a teacher saw him put something down, go to his locker to get his bag, turn round to pick the thing up and it was gone... A whole cache of stuff belonging to him was found behind a cupboard where another child was throwing it, inc the labelled sweatshirt etc which I'd been cross with him for losing.

@JohnGetHomeNow

AosSi yep, met those children. They are the ones who love washing up after breadmaking or happily wipe down tables.

All the children I mentioned are within their own classrooms and from year 3 up. I sort of meant have a buddy help her with her check list rather than do it for her, so first thing on the list gets done before they move onto the next. Peer on peer teaching can be beneficial.

Oh I'm fully on board with your idea but it was more to reassure OP that it wouldn't be putting a burden on that child. There's always a child or two in every class who genuinely wants to help others and won't see it as a burden or an opportunity to lord it over the helpee.

@CMOTDibbler

I would say though, if things which are labelled are never reappearing, its worth investigating more as to whether things are being taken/hidden from her. My ds had a reputation for being ditzy and losing stuff at school, but it was only the day when a teacher saw him put something down, go to his locker to get his bag, turn round to pick the thing up and it was gone... A whole cache of stuff belonging to him was found behind a cupboard where another child was throwing it, inc the labelled sweatshirt etc which I'd been cross with him for losing.

Its a problem across the school apparently. If things make it to lost property then they get returned to the owner or the owners sibling, but most stuff doesn't. Several parents have apparently admitted to cutting labels or unpicking sewn in labels off of school uniform this is a middle class area where 68% of the families (according to the survey that went out during the lockdowns) have every adult in their house working at least parttime and the logoed items aren't expensive (£8 for a jumper, £5 for a polo and they have a very well stocked 2nd hand shop as well, where it's £3 for a jumper and £1.50 for a polo shirt).

Alternatively - make very good friends with the caretaker who just used to cut out the lost property system and return all DD's lost belongings directly to me at the school gate!

I started using iron in vinyl name labels for the kids (we had the middle class name tape picking - I was more pissed off cos I HATE sewing the buggers in) this year!

@CoffeeWithCheese

Alternatively - make very good friends with the caretaker who just used to cut out the lost property system and return all DD's lost belongings directly to me at the school gate!

I started using iron in vinyl name labels for the kids (we had the middle class name tape picking - I was more pissed off cos I HATE sewing the buggers in) this year!

We no longer have a caretaker or I would - budgets and all that. Ours retired when DD was in Reception and was never replaced.