How much ££?

[DoleWhipFloat]

Two siblings.

Sibling 1: Has had money problems but is generous to a fault.

Sibling 2: Financially better off but nowhere near as generous.

They usually spend up to £100 on each other’s children for occasions. Sibling 1 does it out of love. Sibling 2 just feels obligated to match the amount spent.

Sibling 2 suddenly suggests that the amount being spent is getting out of control and needs to be limited at around £20.

Sibling 1 is slightly offended by the discussion of money and limitations.

Is sibling 2 out of order?

Goodness, no, that’s a very reasonable suggestion, £100 is ridiculous!

Sounds very sensible.

Why is your sibling out of order? Spend what you want but don't be offended when you've bought your nephews and nieces gold and your kids get selection boxes.

My siblings and I never discuss what we want to give and everyone gives whatever they please whether it's £20 or £200. Sounds all too formal.

Not at all unreasonable

Are you 1 or 2 @DoleWhipFloat

I think it should be up to each individual for a exsample im s1 i have s2 who has 2 children s3 who has 4 i set a budget of £100 per house shared evenly by the children

Sounds very sensible and possibly thoughtful of sibling 2 if they know sibling 1 has money issues. £100 per child seems a ridiculously large amount.

I'd say neither should feel offended or obligated & exceptions welcome but generally £20 is more than ample. My Children have too much stuff already.

£100 is too much and the sibling offering £20 means the other sibling could buy their own kids something with the ‘difference’ if they so chose! That way neither is out of pocket.

I'm sibling 2 in a similar scenario and it's immensely stressful.

My sibling buys such extravagant gifts for me and the dc. Much more than I'd usually spend for people's birthdays or Xmas even though I could technically afford it, but yes, I end up matching it because it just feels like an obligation.

I know my sister would be incredibly hurt and upset if I mentioned it because her gifts are not expensive for the sake of it but also really thoughtful and with a lot of effort put in.

Sounds fair enough to me.

Perhaps there’s a middle way like sharing a family experience- pantomime, theatre tickets, theme park etc with a token ‘£10 in the gift shop’ present?