CFery to end all CFery

[stillcrazyafterall]

I have posted on here before about my CFery neighbours, and all have agreed with me, but today takes the . The side of their conservatory overlooks our garden and they have small windows in it, high up. They have moaned about our plants (rose and buddliea) tapping the windows and we have kept them trimmed back. The woman now TOTALLY ignores us, she's a bit weird tbh, but if we meet she blanks us, fine by me. However she has become very friendly with a neighbour across the street whom we talk to occasionally. Let's call her Carol. Carol knocked on our door and said 'I see you have a rose in your garden. Could I have the rose hips to make jam?' We thought it a little odd but agreed and left the gate open for her as we were both WFH. Heard her gathering the hips and my DH glanced out of the window to see Carols partner crossing the road back to their house with a long piece of rose bush in his hand. Carol then rings the bell and shows me the rose hips, telling me what she would do with them. DH then tells me about the partner and the bit of rose bush. We go out the check and can see where he's cut a branch off, the one that would be tapping against the neighbours conservatory window! The CF neighbour got them to come around under some spurious pretext and cut branches off our bloody rose bush!!! I am so pissed off I won't be able to sleep tonight. Any suggestions as to what I can do? Lighthearted (or not)

Being charitable and having grown roses from clippings before (not by stealth though!)… Is it possible that the neighbours absolutely love your rose bush and have taken a clipping in order to try and grow their own? When there are rose-hips on it is a great time and 3ft would be a good size to get a couple of decent clippings from.

Oh God yes - windchimes, or one of those annoying widgets that play Happy Birthday in a tinny way that you find in birthday cards. Only to be played when you are out of course...

Keep your plants trimmed back from the boundary?

Yep. Seems like the best option if your plants are tapping on their window.

@user7692398242 this a made me laugh - one hot 12 July (public holiday in NI) our neighbours had obviously been on a bender the night before & left one of these cards playing tinny happy birthday ALL DAY
LONG. Drove me nuts & totally spoiled what should have been a relaxing sunny day in the garden. Like Chinese bloody water torture I tell ya - do it OP!

I would give them rose hips every year and ask her to make that delicious jam.

Put a bird feeder near the conservatory so the lovely windows get bird crap on.

Or do nothing but indulge in a bit of revenge day dreams then move on.

www.garden-delights.com/electric-wind-chimes.html

These would help your mental health recover op

Plant a leylandii right by the window!

I agree with Cerebelle

Definitely wind chimes when you’re going out.
My lovely next door neighbour has several sets and I’ve often lain in bed thinking about nipping over their wall to take them down (with a hammer)

Flashing musical gnome? Remote control obvs...

@TwinklyBranch

Well, if you're not going to be sleeping anyway, you might as well sit out in your garden all night, tapping the end of a broom handle (or similar) against your neighbour's window at random intervals. It would serve the cheeky fuckers right.

...and you haven't challenged Carol and her husband?

FFS, I'd just go over there and ask why the hell he cut off the branch of your rose bush and why Carol lied to you about the rose hips.

Also she's picked them when they're not even ripe. So they're no use to her. It's no good picking them until they're red and ripe. And unless you live somewhere very different from me, it's nowhere near that time of year yet. Maybe ask her why she picked green rose hips which are no use for jam or syrup.

@saraclara

...and you haven't challenged Carol and her husband?

FFS, I'd just go over there and ask why the hell he cut off the branch of your rose bush and why Carol lied to you about the rose hips.

Also she's picked them when they're not even ripe. So they're no use to her. It's no good picking them until they're red and ripe. And unless you live somewhere very different from me, it's nowhere near that time of year yet. Maybe ask her why she picked green rose hips which are no use for jam or syrup.

This! Would love to know their answers to being confronted

Something tasty on the conservatory roof to attract some pigeons and squirrels?

If the foundations of the conservatory are on your land, can't you get them removed?

Absolutely use this as a choice opportunity to practice your assertiveness skills. You’ll feel much better and wrestle back some control.

Knock on Carol’s door first thing, ask to speak to both of them at once. Wait until you have their attention and ask very clear questions in a calm neutral tone. Sound a bit . Keep asking until they admit it, even if you have to suggest that they were picked up by your security camera. Then ask if needing the rosehips was a lie. Suggest that you know they weren’t ripe, so again you’re confused. Say ‘So it feels very much like you’ve gained access to my property through deception and taking advantage of my kindness, only to damage my garden and remove the evidence. Is that a fair reading of the situation?’

Don’t mention the other neighbours at all, and shut down any mention. This is entirely on them, and they should feel the burn of shame.

Ask for what you need from them now. Something like ‘I value respectful relationships with my neighbours, so I’ll look forward to your apology so we can all move on from this. I’d need a commitment from you that this sort of behaviour won’t happen again.’ It’s amazing how powerful this can be, if said in a friendly but firm tone. You’ll feel much better after it, and they’ll blame your nasty neighbours for making them do bad things.

I’d add a little extra sting in the tail, cos I’m like that. I’d say ‘Talking to others around here (wave vaguely at the street), it seems out of character for you guys to have done this. So I’m going to try and overlook it.’ Lets them know that their oh-so-clever little secret mission is now open to public shame. But that approach isn’t for everyone

I'd be looking into the legalities of their conservatory being built on your land and if possible, ensure it is removed

I believe you need one of these conveniently and artfully facing their conservatory.
No noise, so it won't bother you.
www.amazon.co.uk/Belgian-Finish-Feature-Brussels-Statue/dp/B003TSH3M8/ref=asc_df_B003TSH3M8/?hvlocphy=1006565&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=344275619224&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-699094173251&hvrand=747531722910191755

I'd do what @MadameMonk suggested. Make it clear you know what's happened

Perhaps go round and ask innocently if they noticed the rose bush had been cut when they were in your garden. You have spotted it is 3ft shorter and are worried you've had intruders. They were in your garden so could they recall if the rose bush was there or not? Hopefully, if they are decent people it will prompt them to some sort of confession, it at least make them feel bad.
Rose hips are ripe where I am btw, but would definitely be asking for the jam recipe.
Or perhaps post leaflets in all the neighbour's doors informing them of a plant thief in the area and to keep a watch out.

I second a water feature or a really tall fence. Nothing like having their light completely blocked out.

I do not understand some people - the thing is on your land and they have the cheeky and plenty of time to complain about plants tapping the windows!

I'd plant something that's going to grow nice and tall in front of their window. I think I'd also have to say something to carol. Just say what you saw and ask why they cut it.

@Thekormachameleon

I'd be looking into the legalities of their conservatory being built on your land and if possible, ensure it is removed

I don't get this either. Surely if anything needs to be cut back so it doesn't cross the boundary it's their conservatory, never mind the strange neighbours with the rose cutting.

We've lived here over 20 years and the conservatory was here when we moved in, no party wall agreement when we bought but no idea if it was a thing then, the houses are about 35-40 years old. The side of the conservatory is brick except for a row of windows by the roof. We can actually cause them a lot of problems easier than complaining about the foundations as we allowed them to run the guttering around the side of the conservatory (so over our plants) because we are actually OK neighbours and it didn't impact us. We have to be a bit careful though as we plan on moving in a few years so don't want to have a big falling out that we have to declare. I shall daydream evil thoughts though, and will have a chat with Carol.

You don't do rosehip jam until after a frost do you? My brain says so but I could be wrong.

I second the Wuthering heights maneuver.