Relationships & Grief

[Grace99]

My boyfriend of a year lost his grandad just over a week ago. They were like best friends and did everything together. Since then he's really pushed me away and told me he wants to be by himself/needs space so therefore asked me to stay at my parents. He either wants his own company or he goes out to see all his friends as everyone keeps inviting him out for drinks etc but he doesn't want to spend time with me. I really don't know what to do and does this mean it's the end?

You live together and he asked you to move out? That’s bizarre. How long for?

I’d feel the same, if he wants to be by himself it’s odd he’s off out with friends.

Why can’t you be in your home while he spends by himself or goes out socialising?

No we don't live together, I only sleep round at the weekends or whenever we see eachother in the week etc.
His way of dealing with this is by being with friends as he keeps getting drunk all the time...
I understand he doesn't want to go out on dates or anything and I've not seen him smile since his grandads passed. He's in a really bad way but I can't do anything to help?

I think it’s normal to only want certain company this close to a bereavement. Going out and getting drunk and having a laugh with your friends can distract you and keep your attention off your grief in a way that staying at home with your visiting girlfriend making a fuss of you and asking “you okay, babe, want to talk about it?” and so on over and over does the opposite and exacerbates the sadness you’re feeling.

It’s been a week, really not long at all. It isn’t about you so don’t make it so. It unlikely means that the relationship is over, he just wants what he’s asked for, which is some space. Let him know that you care for him and will be there when he’s ready, and get on with your own life rather than worrying or pandering. Review the situation in a couple more weeks or so and if things still seem off then you can reconsider whether the relationship has legs.