Play fighting

[Whatinthelord]

How do you manage play fighting in your house?

My kids are 5 and 7 and have recently started play fighting. This evening it’s getting a bit rough, so I’ve told them both to decide what they’re playing, stop if they’re getting hurt or not liking it. Ultimately I’ve told them if they choose to play a rough game they might get hurt, but it’s their choice\responsibity.

Anyway…..they’re playing nicer than they ever normally do. Saying stop when it’s too much, talking about rules etc.

I know kids crave rough and tumble, Even so it feels wrong to just let the, get on with it.

How do others manage play fighting?

Obviously I’d stop them if they were properly hurting each other.

I tell them to pack it in tbh! Too much risk of someone getting hurt. They play fight with their df who can manage the situation more safely.

They have lots of opportunities for vigorous play which don't involve pretend (or real) violence.

I hate play fighting mine do it constantly and one always ends up hurt

Oo, I hate it! You’re more tolerant than me OP!

@Etinoxaurus

Oo, I hate it! You’re more tolerant than me OP!

I hate it too. But they keep bloody doing it. Just trying to find a better way to manage it. I’ve noticed recently that sometimes I step in too much and when I step back they manage situations Better…..that’s obviously harder with play fighting though. Just not sure how to manage it without micromanaging their interaction or letting our house turn into the hunger games.

I do the same OP - tolerate it, with a warning to stop when/if it gets too rough. They get limited sympathy if they ignore that advice and get hurt!

I have a socially very unconfident girl though, and a very sensitive, easily upset boy. I'm hoping they can help each other build a bit of robustness and resilience to kids' rough and tumble.

The rules were no lifting hands or feet in my house, so that meant no play fighting. I never allowed it, otherwise I felt it would make actual fights easier to start and feel more acceptable to them.
Age 11 and 13 boys and they have had about 5 actual fights all together between each other. So I think its worked quite well.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

I do the same OP - tolerate it, with a warning to stop when/if it gets too rough. They get limited sympathy if they ignore that advice and get hurt!

I have a socially very unconfident girl though, and a very sensitive, easily upset boy. I'm hoping they can help each other build a bit of robustness and resilience to kids' rough and tumble.

That interesting. My son, the oldest, is very sensitive and timid aro7nd others. My daughter 5 is very confident. So although they’re a couple of years apart they are developmentally similar in managing play\social situations.

@TheChip yea my worry s that by allowing it I might encourage real fights.
Though mine both do taekwondo where they spar but obviously aren’t hurting each other, so I dunno.

Never allowed in this house at all (they still did it now and again but always nipped in the bud).
Keep your hands and feet to yourselves please is the line I use.

[quote Whatinthelord]@TheChip yea my worry s that by allowing it I might encourage real fights.
Though mine both do taekwondo where they spar but obviously aren’t hurting each other, so I dunno.[/quote]

My two do fencing, and their teacher came out after last week's lesson to complain they'd been fighting. Cue a confused "isn't that what they're supposed to do in there?" from me!