How to make Breastfeeding successful and keep mentally well.

[HPmagic]

Post here for traffic and seeking advice.

Background - with DC1 I had all intentions of breastfeeding. I did not realise until a midwife after labour pointed out I had flat nipples which would make breastfeeding more tricky. I never received any support after birth and I was very naive. After getting home I went straight to expressing milk which only last a few weeks as again I did not know what I was doing and milk flow reduced. So switched to formula.

DC2 is on the way and I am going to breastfeed. I am reading everything about it and making sure I have numbers to call during breastfeeding. I have bought nipples extractors which are brilliant and my nipples are not so flat anymore.

My concerns - Usually my mental health is fine I manage fine, if I have a low day I focus on keeping going and reducing anxiety by being prepared and getting out for walks etc. With DC1 during the times I was pumping I have never felt as low in my life although I'm not sure how much of that was shock from birth and recovering. I'm worried about the impact breastfeeding/ tiredness is going to impact my mental health as although I cope well I feel that i may struggle after birth. Also the local breastfeeding support group is run by a school mum in my child's class, I don't not feel comfortable using them for support which is a shame as she is a mouthy person so no confidentiality.

Any words of wisdom.

Go easy on yourself and see whether you enjoy it. I found the first 2 weeks quite tough due to cluster feeding, but looking back it feels like a lovely time of bonding. I used Lansinoh religiously after every feed (watch it doesn't stain your clothes!).

And omega-3 to support good mental health post-partum. Diet/getting the right vitamins and nutrients is critical, either through food or supplements.

Best of luck! Try not to stress about it; it'll hopefully come naturally to you.

Do you have family/friends nearby to hold the baby while you nap in the day?

I have flat nipples (or I did before DD was born, not so much now!) and nipple shields did the trick for us. I didn't love using them - they're fiddly and it's annoying to have to remember to bring them everywhere. But using them got us through the first few months and I was able to ditch them entirely by around 3 months.

After not getting enough milk, dd dropping weight and needing to top up with formula, I read that fenugreek and blessed thistle support breastfeeding.

Blessed thistle gave me migraines but fenugreek was a wonder. I took a teaspoon four times per day and iirc by week seven, I was flying and never looked back. I still had a slow flow so each feed took ages but dd was satisfied and happy.

Keep eating protein, drink pints of water. Stop using soap on your breasts now.

I found feeding DC2 so much easier than DC1 as I knew what I was doing, I was more prepared, I knew where all the support was and most of all, I knew the newborn days didn't last forever.

Knowing that they wouldn't cluster feed forever, that it wouldn't hurt forever, that I wouldn't be bleeding or having after pains (btw these hurt more with later children) meant that I felt more confident that nothing was 'wrong'.

I think the old saying of don't stop on a bad day is so useful. If it's a bad day, know tomorrow will bs better

I have breastfed 3 children (well still feeding the youngest). All were fed for 2 years each.

Despite all that experience, there have been very low days, very low weeks even. The responsibility has been overwhelming on more than one occasion. It’s frustrating, time consuming, annoying, prohibitive, occasionally sore, has resulted in numerous bouts of mastitis, I could go on…

But, I’ve never stopped. I don’t know why, I just haven’t. I suppose in some ways because continuing was more important to me than those things. The knowledge that they were fleeting whereas the breastfeeding was more longer term maybe?

Anyway, what I wanted you to know, was that many of the feelings you will experience will be very common and normal, even amongst the experienced breast feeders!

There are days (many days!) when I’ve just screamed that I want to stop, that I hate it etc etc. But there have been more days when I have loved the excuse to sit in a quiet room feeding my beautiful child and watching them sleep or feed or whatever. And I just know that those memories will last me a lifetime and for me, that’s worth it all!

I used mother's love nipple balm after every feed, you don't have to wipe it off before the baby latches on again which is nice. If one of your boobs gets very painful it's ok to take a day off of nursing on that side and only pump until it's less raw, even if it's before the two week mark (some lactation consultants will tell you not to pump before two weeks). I found it pretty painful for the first month but after that it got so much easier. I think breastfeeding is harder early on but more easy than bottle feeding once you get over the initial hump.
Big however though, if breastfeeding makes you too sad/hormonal you should honor what your body is telling you and pump or use formula. One of my girlfriends had terrible post natal anxiety until she stopped breastfeeding and then felt much better. What's best for baby is a happy mama, so take care of yourself!!

I think pumping is v different to breastfeeding so don’t worry about that experience. I breastfed 3 with no issues, but never ever expressed because I hated the idea. Just give breastfeeding a go and see how it works out for you.

My top tip: breastfeed but also get the father to give one bottle of formula in the night so you can sleep for longer. Better sleep = better postpartum mental health. This is also wonderful for the father bonding with the child and means less stress later when they have to take a bottle.

I found having supportive people around the most helpful factor in continuing breastfeeding. Shame about the local group mum not being welcoming. Have you tried La Leche League? I think they are still doing some zoom support groups which I enjoyed if you don’t have a group near to you. Good luck OP.