Talk to me about working patterns when you have older kids

[OompaLumpaLabrador]

I am self-employed and can choose my work pattern, for which I am very grateful. Every year I've assumed that things getting easier and less busy is just around the corner and I'll be pretty much back in full time work. DH works long hours, and is often not home, but we have a cleaner so that takes a lot of the load away. I work about three days, two long days and two short and find it hard to imagine working more.

DC are now 12 and 10, they enjoy some after school activities and have homework/ music practice, weekends are busy too. DS has ADHD and needs a bit more supervision with school work and activities than other kids. We have a dog that needs attention and walking. And I've got to the age where I also want to be able to take some exercise myself and pursue some interests (like cleaning out the kitchen cupboards). I've also been approached about being part of various useful activities (local political party, school governor), but, to be honest, after finishing writing a PhD thesis in my spare time last year, I'd like space for a bit of frivolity.

Does there come a time when full time work feels perfectly doable with older kids? Is anyone else finding the thought of that quite daunting? Am I just a bit of a disorganised lazer? Any thoughts/ reflections/ motivational snippets welcome.....

My Dc Are 14 and 12 and I have always worked FT. A couple of years ago I was doing 5 days a week with a long commute and I had a nanny to do school runs and stay with them till I came home. I now WFH most of the time and the dc get home and have a few hours to entertain themselves before I finish work and get dinner sorted.

I do yoga twice a week and walk the dogs every evening at 5pm. Things are a lot easier now the children are older. I feel like I am getting some balance in my life again. Their father has not had them overnight for about 5 years so it has been all on my shoulders,

I've worked full time since DS was 18 months. He's 13 now and I work more hours than ever as I am also self employed, often six days a week with an early start/late finish. I clean, cook, do the washing and ironing, have hobbies, go running/walking, take DS to activities, as does DH, who also works full time, so we split everything. Think your time management skills may need brushing up on OP if you are struggling

Mine are 10 and 13 and I've worked full time since they were 6months or so. My work has v flexible hours so I can take off early if I need to, but I'm normally at my desk for 2hrs every evening too.

One thing that I find helps is to have a timetable for me, with fixed times for exercise & activities (art class in my case), and making sure the kids timetables fit with that.

But I wouldn't be able to take on things like charity work / school governor etc in addition to my full time job. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

Mine are the same age as yours, eldest has ADHD too which I find makes a massive difference as he can’t do any homework at all unsupervised. I work 22 hours a week (four short days a week). To be honest it’s as much as I can manage, though I’m widowed so literally every grown up task is mine, plus both DC are struggling at the moment and need me around after school each day.

I work a bit less than full time. I have one teen and it’s obviously much easier than when she was younger but I still like to be around as much as I can. However, I am a lone parent and I think that makes a difference.

I have worked part time since my children were born. They are now in their 20s …but I have just reduced my hours to help with childcare 😳

One or both of you going part time works best. We've tried all combinations - things work best when we get help with the shit work that no-one really wants to do (cleaning, ironing) and when we are both earning income and when we are both able to flex to look after kids, drop them places etc. Worst combo was him FT me nothing, second worst was both FT with nanny in support, third worst was him SAHD and me FT, and best was when we both worked shorter hours.